mommy contents

2011-03-10T13:34:00.000-08:00

Four places I go:
1. Maceys
2. Lizzie's/Abby's School
3. Church
4. to sleep.
Four Favorite Smells:
1.Jeremy
2. My kids
3. Sawdust
4. It's a tie between cookies in my oven or a steak on the grill
Favorite TV shows/Movies:
1. The Office
2. 30 Rock
3. The Daily Show
4. I did love Glee till this weeks episode, made me sick, so I'm going with Parenthood
Four Recommendations:
1. Zuppas: my favorite place to eat right now.
2. When someone hurts you give them the benefit of the doubt
3. Amazon mom's club. Saved me on shipping, frustrated walmart runs and some serious moola
4. Exercise everyday, anywhere from yoga, running, swimming, or just playing with your kids get your heart rate up and you'll feel great all day long.

I tag
Lori
Lexi
Mandy
Stacey

Bettering myself

2010-02-24T08:33:00.000-08:00

So these are some of my friends who got married in a real fast hurry and asked me to take a couple of pix so they could send out announcements. as I was taking their pictures some turned out almost as if I knew what I was doing. It got me really excited about who else I could help if I just had a little bit more knowledge.

It was fun but I know I could have given them just a little bit more. So I thought about all the great photographers I know and of course Brooke Snow would stand out in my mind I mean after she took these pictures. So I was looking on her website to see when her next weekend class would be and lo and behold she is currently doing this contest

So of course I entered it and of course you should vote for me. I honestly would love to improve this almost talent that I have. I may not start a company or start charging hundreds of dollars for me to take someone's picture but I can see it blessing my life with an opportunity to create, i can see if blessing the life of my family as I document this amazing blessing and adventure we have together and who knows maybe it could even bless your life. I'm always good to drop what I'm doing to run out and take pictures for that last minute wedding or because the sun is hitting those clouds so super cool right at that exact moment or because there is a certain magic in the air that needs to be captured.

So please please vote for me. If not that's cool just start letting Jeremy know that's what he needs to get me for greatest wife ever day or mother's day or just because.

Thanks

Andrea

Wanted:

2010-01-19T14:58:00.000-08:00

Wanted a new running partner:

Must be willing to run at night with me, be a MUCH better runner than me but be ok with that and never ever flash it in my face, must be willing to push me when i need to be pushed but be ok when I wus out, must maintain a good conversation when needed and never ever get super dramatic, must be ok if there is no conversation and realize that I AM NOT MAD AT YOU, must enjoy my company enough that they are willing to get up at 6 AM on Saturday mornings so that we can run for two hours, must have good advice for me whenever I need it and be willing to set an awesome example for me to follow at all times. Must make me do lunges in the middle of our runs so that I can be a "better runner". Must always text me when I start thinking I'm going to stop running and tell me that they are coming over in 3 minutes so to make sure I have my shoes tied and shorts on. Must not complain when I talk too much and pretend to be really interested in what I'm saying. Must be willing to run a half marathon at least 10 minutes faster than me so when I come in they can be my biggest fan cheering me on those last sprints. Must never ever move away!

My running buddy Mindy is not only 7 months pregnant but she is also moving to Murray which makes our night time runs a little bit close to impossible. I really want to run another half marathon and do a triathalon before I turn 30 this October but I'm a baby and can't do it on my own. So the search is on for someone new but by the discription Mindy is pretty tough to beat. I'm going to miss her like crazy but I hope that I'm a better runner from running with her the past year and half I know that I'm a better person by just being her friend. So if you're interested please let me know.

Thanks

Management of Andrea's weight control

Andrea Rawlings

18 memories 11 more to go (this is super super long but very informative)

2009-10-20T14:05:00.000-07:00

1. My first real memory is when I was 2 and 3/4's we were living in Spanish Fork and we were moving to Orangeville. I remember very clearly standing on our front lawn of our apartment home watching my cousin Eric help load up the BIG moving truck. I remember hugging my Great Grandma and Grandpa Warner and getting into the car turning around to see Grandma and Grandpa wave goodbye to us. I don't remember the car ride through spanish fork canyon most likely because I fell asleep, to be quite honest I still fall asleep whenever I'm not driving and we go through that canyon, it just makes me sleepy thinking about it. I remember pulling up to the house and getting out of the car the first place we went to was the backyard where there was a giant apricot tree. Michael and I played in the sandbox for a little while and ran around the giant backyard. We walked up the back steps and into the kitchen I remember the orange blinds and then walking into the living room where the brown blinds were shut and the sun was shining through them casting sunbeams into the room. They had just unpacked my brown rocking chair and I remember sitting down in the rocking chair being extremely excited about what was to happen next. Brett was born shortly after but I really don't remember much of his birth or meeting him for the first time.

2. Year three I remember meeting Cammie Scow she lived two houses down from me and I remember walking down the sidewalk meeting her half way between my house and hers. I asked her if she wanted to play and that was the beginning of my childhood. Later that year my little brother Garret was born just two weeks before my 4th birthday. I remember seeing Grandma Swenson who since the move I didn't get to see that often. I remember Grandma lifting me up to look at Garret who was in with a bunch of other little kids and Grandma pointing to some baby asking me if I could see him. I lied and said that I could but if I remember right Grandma could barley pick me up high enough to get my nose over the lip of the window.

3. Year 4 I remember Garret as a baby and playing with him and Brett. Brett was funny and always did things just to make people laugh. I remember laughing with Brett a lot. I remember being in Love with Garret's blue eyes and black hair. I always thought he was sooo handsome and I honestly remember thinking I wanted the man I married to have black hair and blue eyes (umm no that did not happen). I remember our church house and going to Sunbeams and being afraid I was going to get lost. I remember one Sunday afternoon sitting in the living room Mom and Dad were reading the paper and Michael and I were looking at the comics, well Michael was reading them I was looking at them I think that I laughed after he laughed and he asked if I was reading them. I said Yes and then Michael told me I wasn't I didn't know how to read and I shouldn't be laughing at them. That one little provocation made me determined to read. I asked my Mom if she would teach me and she said she had some books. I started working on those books and within a few short months I was reading. I felt quite accomplished for a 4 year old. Later that summer I remember a camping trip with my Great Grandma and Grandpa Warner. As a kid I didn't realize how different it was to have Great Grandparents involved in your life but I loved them dearly and miss them a whole bunch. The camping trip if I remember was at Ferron Reservoir and I remember screaming bloody murder because a gopher had ran in front of me as we were heading back to camp after a long day of fishing at the lake. I remember the look on my Dad's face as he came sprinting up to me positive that I had just been mauled by a mountain lion. After I told my Dad what I saw, he laughed and picked me up and put me on his shoulders. I was madly in love with my Dad and loved it when it was just the two of us.

4. Year 5 Was hard because I had missed the kindergarten cut off date Mom was crazy busy with Brett and Garret. I remember a lot of sesame street and Mr. Rogers and I can't remember the name of it but had something to do with mannequins coming to life and puppets inside some department store. I remember Cammie and I playing a lot but there was also B.J. and Richard. We played a lot and I remember one particular time it was just me, B.J. and Richard. BJ told Richard that he shouldn't play with me because I was a girl and that was the first time in my life I realized that there were real differences between girls and boys. I mean here I was with 3 boys everyday of my life and they never treated me different because I was a girl and all the sudden this boy points out that there's a difference between us and thus we can't play together. I was really upset about it for a little while but don't worry BJ and Richard got over it pretty soon because we played for a long time after that. Finally after a long long summer I was able to start Kindergarten. I was in Mrs. Jeffs class and she had curly hair and dark glasses. I remember being shy and not knowing anybody really in my class. I didn't talk to many people and really hoped that I would be smart enough. I can still smell the paste and feel the cold hard chairs.

5. Year 6 I was still in kindergarten. I remember one day we were talking about the letter G and Mrs. Jeffs asked us what words started with the people said the usual: grapes, green, grass, glitter...I raised my hand and said Giant. I'm not sure why the look of surprise was so evident on Mrs. Jeffs' face it very well could have been that was the first time I had actually said anything in class or maybe that was her first realization that I could read but still I was confused at her look of surprise. The class then began to argue with me that Giant could not start with G because it made the jjjj J sound. I remember very clearly thinking that they were not that smart if they only knew that G made a hard ga ga ga sound and then explained because G was followed by an I it made the soft jjjj sound thus the word Giant began with G. Silly kindergartners. Mrs. Jeffs backed me up and after that I realized that maybe I was a little more advance than this Kindergarten class and I should speak up more to help them learn faster. Towards the end of my 6th year my dad accepted a job in rosaevelt right before I started first grade. My parents decided that my Dad would move there and Mom would wait in Orangeville till the house sold. I remember being really sad every time Dad would leave and my Mom being really sad too. We would visit Dad in Rosevelt and get ice cream at the store he was working at. When I started first grade our house was still for sale and Dad was still in limbo between Orangeville and Rosevelt.

6.Year 7 I remember learning how to read silently and loving first grade with Mrs. Guthrie. When Christmas came around I remember writing a letter to santa distraught because I wasn't sure if we would even be in Orangeville and he may not know where to find me. Luckily his elf snowdrop wrote me back and told me not to worry that Santa always knew where his good little girls and boys lived. And true enough Santa found us that Christmas. I'm not sure when Dad quit working in rosevelt but I'm pretty sure it was before Tyler was born. I was really excited for this new baby to come and was pretty sure it was my turn to have a baby sister. I had spent the last 3 years birthday wishes on having a little sister and for sure those had to work in my favor. Tyler was due in May and the last week of April was the 1st grad talent show. Mom and I had worked on me memorizing a book "There's a monster in the bath tub". We had worked on actions and making sure I spoke clearly and paused in all the right places for laughs. The night before the performance I was extremely nervous. I got out of bed in the middle of night so that Mom could comfort me and tell me that I would do great. When I got to my Mom's bed no one was there. I started to cry and wandered into our living room where lying on the couch was Merlene Sittrud. Merlene was my adopted Grandma ever since we left Spanish Fork and my grandparents. I cried to Merlene that I was nervous about the talent show and Merlene hugged me and told me that I was going to do great. She then told me that if I wanted she would be there to help me. For some reason this calmed me right down and I went back to sleep. When I woke up in the morning my dad was there and told me that I had a new baby brother. I laughed and told me dad not to tease me. (My dad is a notorious teaser) But I soon realized he wasn't teasing me and sure enough I had a new little brother. Dad took us to the hospital to see our new little brother, Garret was absolutly positive that we should name Tyler either Chip or Superman, good suggestions from a 3 and 1/2 year old. Our parents told us they were naming him Tyler James. I said oh good can we call him T.J. our parents said no. If we needed to call him anything it would be Ty. Oh like Ty Detmer I said. My parents said exactly. (We were giant BYU fans). I remember getting home from the hospital and getting ready for the talent show. I was so nervous and really sad that my Mom wasn't going to be there for it. When I got up to tell my story. I looked out in the audience and saw sweet Merlene sitting there with a big smile on her face. I told my story and felt so happy inside.

7. When I turned 8 I was in Mrs. Jeffs class again. She had moved from Kindergarten to 2nd grade. The biggest memory I have was my baptism. I remember asking my dad if I had to get baptized. He told me No but that I should pray about it. I did and felt really good about being baptized. My bishop at the time was Bishop Baltzer and he was so nice to me. My dad had car troubles the day of the baptism and nearly missed being their to baptize me. Most of my Dad's brothers made it and I remember being sad that My Great Grandma and Grandpa Warner weren't going to be there because Grandpa Warner had just had a heart attack. My mom had done a fancy French Braid on my hair and I wore the baptismal suit that my grandpa wore when he was baptized. I remember thinking the water was pretty cold and the amazing feeling that came over me as I came up from the water. After the baptism I changed into a pretty dress my Grandma Orr made for me and came out to greet all the people who came. My Uncle Carl pulled me aside and asked me if it felt like I was under the water for a long time. I thought about it and said Ya I think so, then he said that was because I was a Bad kid and it took a long time to wash all my sins off. He laughed and I thought he was really crazy. I was confirmed a member of the church the next day on Sunday and remember my Dad crying. My dad didn't cry very often and whenever he did in my life it was well documented in my mind. I remember feeling so glad my Dad held the priesthood and was able to bestow the gift of the holy ghost on me. It truly was a life changing event in my life.

8. The year that I turned 9 I was in the third grade. New Kids on the Block were huge but I really had no idea about them. I think it was in the third grade I started to understand that people didn't think I was cute and adorable like my mother and grandmother. I had a HUGE overbite and freckles and didn't like my mother to do my hair. I was in the nutcracker this year as a buffoon. I had lots of practice to go to on the weekends and loved nearly every second of it. We were preforming one night and I slipped on a cartwheel. I got right up and kept on dancing on the beat and finished with the rest of the dancers. As soon as we got off stage another little buffoon told me that I looked dumb and that everyone in the audience laughed at me. She told me that she wouldn't be surprised if they told me to quit. I was totally devastated. After the show ended I ran straight to my mom and cried my little eyes out. My mom told me that I did a great job and that if she hadn't seen the show before she would have thought that the slip was on purpose. For some reason that calmed me and I felt so much better. But I think that is when I started to worry about what other people thought about me.

9. Fourth Grade I had Mrs. Winget who was married in the middle of that year and became Mrs. Hansen. She was kind of loopy and sometimes was the happiest teacher in the world and other times was the meanest. But I'll never forget the end of the year awards she gave out. The first award I received was for some reading and math stuff. Nothing that spectacular. Then she started giving out the silly awards, I of course got the messiest desk award, I still to this day could win that award, organization just isn't my thing. After she was done giving out the silly awards she got really really serious, she said that she only gives out two of these awards every year and they were the most prestigious awards she handed out. She then explained they were the friendship award, she gave them to the students who were friends with everyone. I started thinking of the popular girls in the class the people who seemed to have lots of friends and were the really cool kids. She then called my name..I was shocked. I didn't think i was friends with everyone. Mrs. Hansen then explained that it didn't matter who I sat next to in class they always had a smile on their faces. She noticed that if someone was struggling with something in class I was the first to help them and stay with them till they understood. She said that if someone was new or felt left out I was the first to be their friend. Then she said that she felt lucky enough to consider herself one of my friends. I was honestly in shock and had never taken notice to what I was doing. I was just doing what I hoped others would do for me or what I knew was right. I think this was another life changing moment and I really started to understand what friendship meant.

10. When I was 11 we had this great activity with our primary. It was a Daddy Daughter Date. I loved spending time with my Dad and with 4 other brothers time alone with my Dad was pretty rare. At this activity we played lots of games and had a really yummy dinner. One of the games we played was If you love me you'll smile. We had to go and sit on our Daddy's laps and say "Daddy if you love me you'll smile" then the Dad had to say back "Honey, I love you but I just can't smile." If they could say it without smiling the Dad's would get a point but if they smiled the daughters got a point. My Dad has a great serious face and it's often the face he wears but I discovered that night that I have a special power over my Dad. No matter how hard he tried to not smile he couldn't help but smile, and not just kind of but the big no guessing smile. I knew that night that my Dad loved me.

11. When I turned 12 a lot of things were going on. My Dad was running for the County School Board, Mom had started really catering big events. My teeth had become a big joke to a lot of people and I got teased on a regular basis because of the size of my teeth and also for the size of my overbite. I couldn't stand it any more and one day I overheard my Mom talking about how the insurance that my Dad would get through the School District would make braces affordable for my family I began to take serious stock into my dad's Campaign. On election night I was sent to bed before the results were in and I was so nervous. I prayed and prayed all night that my Dad would win. When I woke up in the morning and heard that my Dad had won I knew that prayers were answered. Later that year I had braces put on. I was so excited.

12. The year I turned 13 was my first year at Junior High. Most people hated Jr. High but I had a great time. My first year there I remember getting called to the office. I thought for sure I was in trouble for something I for sure didn't do. But it turned out my grades weren't recorded on the school computer system and they wanted to see if I remembered them. I remembered them alright but I was afraid they thought I was lying. It was straight 4.0 but amazingly enough they didn't question me. I still don't know if they double checked with my teachers or not.

13. 14 was a great year. I had made the drill team and felt like my classes were way too easy. I started choir that year and once a week I had to get to school extra early for a special choir practice. I don't remember why we did it but I really learned how to sing that year and seriously had to make sure that I didn't covet Amanda's voice. That girl could sing the phone book and still make me cry.

14. the Summer of my 15th year was one not to forget. I had just finished Junior High and was really looking forward to starting high school and all the great things that came with turning 16. This Summer in particular my Mom had started a business running a restaurant at the golf course. My mom had been really sick that whole spring and one day as we were driving out to the golf course she told me she was going to the doctor because she thought she might have cancer. It was a heavy burden to hold and I worried about her for a long time. A few weeks later as we were driving home from the golf course she told me that she was pregnant. I was shocked! My baby brother was 8 my oldest brother was graduated from High school and had just moved to Spanish Fork before he started college at Dixie. The rest of that summer was spent me working as hard as I could at that little restaurant and worrying about how my Mom was going to do everything that she was doing and have a new little baby. But amazingly enough he arrived just a couple of weeks before my 16th birthday. I'll have to write that experience another time but let's just say as a 15 year old my Mom having a baby was a whole new concept.

15. The year I turned 16 was another crazy year. My oldest brother was preparing for a mission, my baby brother was just learning how to hold his head up and I was learning how to drive and how to flirt. My first Date was with Isaac Bott. I still don't know why he asked me out. We were both on the Cross Country team. He was good, I was there just for an excuse to miss school. When Isaac came to pick me up for my date my Dad had to talk to him for what seemed like forever. Isaac had recently been hit in the face with a bottle thrown from a car during one of our runs after school. I felt so bad for him and my Dad was making him relive every moment of it. We doubled with his older brother and a girl also named Andrea. We went to Price to go bowling but for some reason we couldn't go bowling so instead we hung out at Kmart throwing giant bouncy balls over the isles. We then went to little Ceasers and then took the pizza over to McDonalds to eat it. I think we got kicked out of every place we went. I don't think I had ever laughed so hard in my life. It was a great first date.

16. When I turned 17 I had a lot of guy friends and loved hanging out with them. We did something almost every single weekend and things never really got weird between us and I loved hanging out with them way more than hanging out with girls and all of their crazy emotional melt downs and worrying if this guy or that guy liked them. I remember one day all of us going to an elementary school at night and playing steal the flag. I really hadn't noticed that I was talking with the guys and all the other girls where standing there talking to each other till we had separated into teams and this one girl asked me which of the guys I liked and if I would mind if she asked one of the guys to a dance. I was totally taken back I had totally forgot that I was supposed to be in that stage of life and decided it would be wrong if I dated one of those guys in my group. So decided to start looking else where. I still hold all those guys as some of my best friends and love whenever we get together it still doesn't get weird between us and we can carry on a conversation as if we spent every day together.

17. Eighteen was a great year as well. Probably one of the most dominate memories happened in seminary council. I love the people that I served with as if they were my own siblings. I'll never forget the end of year Testimony meeting. I attend 4 out of the 7 testimony meetings and was able to share my testimony multiple times. It was an outstanding feeling. I remember coming home from school that day just exhausted but feeling so happy and at peace with the person I was becoming. I will forever be grateful for the strength my testimony received that last year of high school. It really prepared me for the challenges I would face later in my life.

18. When I turned 19 I was in my first year of college at CEU. I'll never forget my first weekend of college. My parents lived just a half hour away from my dorm and my Mom helped me pack up all my stuff and drive it over in the van while I followed along in my awesome Dodge Omni (RIP) My mom and two of my brothers helped unpack the van bring my boxes of stuff up to my room after they left the boxes Mom looked at me, looked at her watch and said, "Well, Garret has black and gold in a little bit we better get back. " She gave me a hug and then took my brothers out to the van and drove back home. I watched them for as long as I could until they turned down the street and I knew that life would never be the same. I had left the comforts of home and even though home was just a 30 minute drive from where I was living my place was now to find out where I was supposed to be and it was not to be in Orangeville any longer. After I unpacked my stuff and met my sweet roommate Maki. I went grocery shopping, met the Men's Basketball team who talked so fast that I really didn't understand what they were saying and then went to bed. When I woke up at 8:00 the next morning to go to church I really didn't think about it till after I got back from the three hour block of meetings. I went to church and no one here expecting me to. I went on my own because I wanted to. It was a pretty strange feeling and a really good one at that.

I don't know much BUT I know I LOVE these!

2009-09-18T15:27:00.000-07:00

I won a contest once. I was able to go get These pictures taken and well you can see for yourself!

Pilates for Kindergartners

2009-08-11T11:51:00.000-07:00

Today during Yoga Lizzie came upstairs while she was trying to keep all the kids in the basement. She ran back downstairs and I soon heard Snow Patrol playing from our DVD player in the basement. I thought it was funny that she wanted to dance instead of usual play but whatever Dance Parties are fun too. After we were all done and before the kids knew that we were done I ran downstairs to grab something for a friend. When I walked down the stairs snow patrol was still playing but instead of a dance party I saw Lizzie sitting at the front of the room and the 6 other kids in lines sitting Indian style with their little hands in prayer position. Lizzie was just telling them to relax their knees and breathe in deeply. I ran through the room choking back the laughter and when I came out Lizzie had them lying on their backs pulling themselves up into C curves using the exact same words that I use when instructing my pilates class. I don't know whether to be disturbed or extremely proud. I guess if Gold's Gym decides to open up a preschool class taught by a preschooler I would have the perfect instructor for them.

I'm supposed to write this

2009-08-05T10:35:00.000-07:00

It was the end of the year of my first year at USU. I had just recently been called to serve as the Vice President of Service for the Latter Day Saints Single Association (L.D.S.S.A.) and I was in a pretty sad place. I had made some choices that were bringing me some serious grief and someone else had made a choice that caused me some tremendous heartache. I was one of those stupid girls that had a missionary and had somehow miraculously survived the entire two years he was gone without accepting any marriage proposals. When he got home he decided I wasn't that cool or something (seriously don't cry for me people I'm over it by a long long way but I'm just setting the story here) anyhow he broke up with me and seriously shattered my heart in a million bazillion pieces. After he broke up with me in January I always figured he'd come back to me because, honestly, it was me..how on earth can anyone do better than me? Well he had just emailed me that day that he was engaged.. yes just a short 3 months after dumping me. I was seriously distraught. I wasn't getting along the best with my roommates which I'm pretty sure was my fault for being a selfish immature brat because those girls are all seriously wonderful girls. As I was walking back to my house after feeling completely deflated after taking a seriously crappy final that I was pretty sure I had flunked (stupid Statistics is there really a point to that class) I was dreading the loneliness and utter dismal prospects of my life. I felt friendless despite knowing a whole bunch of people and honestly being in one of the happiest places on earth. As I walked down old main hill I found myself pleading with my Heavenly Father...I needed someone or something to help rally my heart back to it's usual happy state. I was miserable and every second I spent by myself the more I hated myself. I knew that Heavenly Father loved me and that he would somehow be able to snap me out of this self loathing state. As I opened the door to my own personal pit of despair the telephone rang and I answered it. The following conversation took place:
"Hello, is Andrea there?"
"This is she." I was pretty sure it was some sort of telemarketer out to tell me that I was a terrible person and giving up on everything would be the best solution for the entire world."
"Hey Andrea, it's Haylie from LDSSA. I was thinking we haven't really gotten to know each other and I'd really like to get you know you better. Do you have time to hang out with me tonight."
Part of me really wanted to let her know that she was wasting her time trying to get to know me because really she would have had a better time stroking piranhas then wasting her time getting to know me. But some how I choked out a "Sure." and then she said
"Great, I'll be by to get you in 30 minutes."
I think I kind of stared at the phone for a long time. None of my roommates were home. They seemed to know when I would be home and avoided me like someone carrying the plague. Which really I was carrying a serious plague of the majorly downs. Soon enough Haylie showed up in her car and I followed her back to her car in a zombie like trance. I don't really remember our conversation but before I knew it we were walking toward a group of people who were laughing and for some strange reason having a good time. I looked at what all these people were doing and they were painting wooden toys. I thought it was really weird that these college students were having such a good time painting, cars, trains and trucks and why the heck would you want to play with them. Haylie then explained to me that it was A week and this was the service project. There was a man who would carve all of these toys and then send them off to other places in the world for kids who didn't have anything to play with. As I saw boxes and boxes and boxes of all these wooden toys my heart was touched by this faceless man who took so much time to lovingly carve each of these toys. Our job was to paint them to give them just a bit more flair and color. I picked up a brush and did my best to paint a truck a happy color of blue. Haylie and I didn't really chat much, no one asked me why I was sad. I didn't have the chance to go off on my roommates and how mean they were being to me (really they weren't but at the time it seemed like it) I didn't get to tell my sob story how my missionary dumped me and found love so quickly after leaving me. None of that really seemed to matter. It was as if each brush stroke put things more into persepective. These were all just experinces I was called to go through. I was going to make it. I had a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I had a loving family despite them being miles and miles away. Friends would come and go and it really was all my decision on how other's actions affected me. By the time my happy blue truck was painted my heart was light. I grabbed another car and started to paint it a happy red color. I started chatting away with others around me and couldn't help how my heart felt happy and light. By the time we had finished all the boxes of wooden toys everyone was laughing and smiles were on everyones faces. As Haylie and I got back in her car and headed back to my place I realzied we didn't talk much yet I felt like I knew her so well. As we pulled into my driveway Haylie said,
"I almost didn't call you Andrea. I had just finished saying my prayers and felt so strongly that I should call you. I was worried what you would think about me, worried what we would say to each other. But I knew I had to call you."
My eyes filled with tears. I tried to choke back all the emotions I was feeling. I knew why Haylie had that impression. I was so grateful for her and her willingness to follow the spirit. I knew that Haylie would forever be one of those great friends and for the first time since I had received my calling to serve as the VP over Service in LDSSA I felt up to serving in that capacity and so grateful that so many other great people had been called to serve with me. Instead of telling Haylie all these thoughts crowding my mind all I could say to Haylie was
"Thanks for Calling me." Haylie and I went on to be wonderful friends and I will forever be grateful for her constant out reach to me whenever I felt down.
I've learned so much from Haylie's great example and I hope that those of you reading this might have picked up on it as well.
1. Never ever doubt those promptings of the spirit. Sometimes we worry we may feel silly calling someone who just crosses our mind or knocking on someones door to just give them a hug. We may worry of rejection or maybe there's nothing wrong with the person at all. I'm sure I seemed happy enough to everyone on the outside. Honestly I can fake happiness really really easily and there were only two people in the entire universe who really knew what was going on the inside of me...Me and Heavenly Father. So don't doubt when the spirit whispers to your heart that someone needs something. Just DO IT!
2. When we are down sometimes we just want to vent and let others hear how terrible we have it. Somehow hoping to vindicate our own emotions and gather some pity. Haylie took me to do some service. As I served those less fortunate than me my burdens weren't taken away but I was lightened. With an overwhelming feeling that I was capable of doing what I was called to do. I don't know sometimes you need to vent but today I have this overwhelming feeling that if we get off our pity boxes and try to serve someone else we will be filled with that light of Christ that comes with any act of charity. That light will help us to see things more clearly and being able to gain the perspective that we all need.

I miss seeing Haylie on a daily basis and Haylie if you ever happen to read this you'll never know how indebted I am to you and your amazing testimony. I know that Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers. He will never ever call us through a trial that we cannot handle and as long as our hearts and minds are open he will bless us with the perspective we need. I know that as we serve others we will be filled with the light of Christ and we will see miracles in our lives and the lives of others.

We're all Winners in our hearts

2009-06-22T15:00:00.000-07:00

So I'm a crazy person..You all know that...You all probably get a kick out of it and that's really why you read this blog. But as a crazy person I did a crazy thing I entered this contest.
Ummm I'm slightly in love with Brooke's work and try really hard not to covet her talents so I figured the best thing for me to do is just blog stalk her and learn as much as I can from her. So when she came up with this contest I hoped that one of my friends would nominate me..I mean...come on...I could be considered beautiful in some cultures. But really when it got down to it (Warning: this next statement may seem arrogant, prideful and down right ridiculous) I know that I'm a beautiful person. I know I'm not a drop dead gorgeous pageant queen. I know I'm not the next cover model of vogue magazine. I know that when people describe me beautiful may not be one of the first things they say as they describe me, but I know that I'm beautiful. So as the crunch for the deadline came closer and closer and the nominations of people became more heart felt and moving and my friends seemed to somehow miss all the secret mind messages I was sending to nominate me I decided to do a very un-beautiful thing and nominate myself.

Here's what I wrote:

Andrea wrote:
Gaaa!!I can’t believe I’m doing this. But I’m going to nominate myself just merely for the fact that the reason I think I’m beautiful has yet to be mentioned.
As a small child I grew up singing the song “I Am a Child of God” and that one simple bit of knowledge helped me radiate my own true beauty through the ratty hair, massive amounts of freckles and those giant buck teeth that seemed to be the brunt of everyone’s jokes.
More importantly that knowledge grew with me as I went through that awkward teenage years. It helped me make good decisions and really helped me shine through out high school.
But now as a full pledge Mother, Wife and (shoot I feel so old saying this) Woman knowing that I am a daughter of God has solidified my beauty. I know that I am beautiful not only when I’m dressed to the nines but more importantly when I’m dressed in my baggy sweats and peanut butter and jelly covered tee shirts. I know I’m beautiful when I’m going out on a hot date with my hubby but more importantly I feel beautiful when I’m teaching my children about who they really are and helping them realize their own potential. I know I’m beautiful when my husband lovingly tells me so but more importantly I feel I’m beautiful when I feel the spirit whisper a reminder of who I am to my heart after a heartfelt prayer.
I’ve never been the jaw-dropping, breath taking beauty..but I hope that my kind of beauty always makes people feel as though they are a better person, possibly a little happier and a little more full of hope all because they know that there is a loving heavenly father that no matter what loves them, and they have the same potential to become like him.

I could drone on and on about this it’s kind of a tender spot for me. I don’t really expect for you to pick me there are so many moving stories on your blog already but this must be said. Everyone should feel beautiful take a look at all the creations our heavenly father has created..He does not know how to make anything less than beautiful. And despite what we may view as imperfections or flaw our spirits are beautiful and truly radiate TRUE beauty.

Honestly I could go over this a whole bunch more times and probably will in the course of my writings. Nothing drives me more bonkers than women who constantly put themselves down because they can't find anything beautiful about themselves. Women, who despite their beauty focuses on those unimportant flaws, imperfections as if to discount the amazing beauty that radiates from us all.

We are children of a loving heavenly Father and even more importantly to the women who read this you are his daughter. You were created in the image of deity. The beauty that each of us posess doesn't come from just our physical bodies but more importantly from the person inside the spirit daughter of God realizing her potential to become like her Father and striving to obtain that potential.

Now I must admit that I'm not perfect in recognizing my own beauty and I have from time to time felt a little less because my outer beauty may not be the most awesome ever but I have never doubted my beauty when I was in the service of someone else, I've never doubted my beauty when I have shared my testimony or have felt my testimony grow. I've never doubted my beauty when I've recieved an answer to a prayer. These times are really the times that matter. I'm not going to lie to you I really make an effort to look good (k not every day as I am currently sitting in my chair with my sweats on and my hair pulled back in a pony tail) but I enjoy doing my hair and putting on make-up and dressing nicely not because that's the only chance I have of looking beautiful but I like to think of dressing up as having the outside match what's on the inside.

I don't know....I kind of feel like I'm rambling now...but I hope you all feel this from time to time. Remeber that you are beautiful. Remember that you are the daughter of a king and have the potential to become a queen and receive all the grace and beauty that comes with that.

A conversation that I didn't get to converse in.

2009-05-06T07:51:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I was lucky enough to attend Women's conference with my Mom and one of her sisters. Turned out another sister wouldn't be able to attend, and since my entire life my mom always called me by this sister's name, I was a perfect fit. I left my house early Friday morning and arrived at BYU at bright and early 7:30 a.m. I was blown away by all the women there and honestly it took my nose a second to adjust to all the different forms of purfume roaming through the air.
I was soon able to meet with my Mom and her sister and prepared ourselves to be uplifted and edified. We listened to some great speakers and my heart really was lightened and I felt an immeadete rejoicing with all the sisters meeting there.
I listened to my Mom and her sister talk as we went from place to place and learned a lot about their relationship and witnessed first hand the give and take of sisterhood.
Our closing speaker was Elder L. Tom Perry and did he ever give us a message. He talked a lot about Missionary work and how WE all have influence of how the church is viewed. He gave us some starting points on how we can better the image of the church by just being ourselves and not being afraid to be who we are. I was so inspired and commited to my part even better.
It truly was awe inspiring to see 20,000+ women gathered together wanting to help better their homes, their communities and even more the world. As we sang the closing song "The Lord Is my Light" the music soared through my body and slowly every woman was on their feet singing this glorious song uniting in spirit and word.
After the prayer we made a mad dash to the BYU bookstore to pick up a few momento's and decided to grab some dinner before we all went our seperate ways. My mom's other sister called and was able to meet us for dinner and wanted a blow by blow report of each class we attended. When we began to discuss Elder Perry's talk I was soon edged out of the conversation. The aunt whom I had spent the entire day with then said that Missionary work would be able to spread more easily if people would leave Utah and get out in the real world. She then began to assail on all "Utah Mormons ". As she began to talk more and more I felt as if she were saying if You belong to the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and live in Utah you are not really serving the church. Afterall she had sacraficed her children's relationships with her family so that they could live in Washington. My mom and her sisters continued to argue the point my Mom being the only Utah Mormon of the three and somehow I was unable to get a word in. It was probably for the better BUT I want to be able to write down my responses to her accusations if anything just so I don't blow them out at her next time I see her.
When Jeremy was finishing school he applied for every single job ever offered to an electrical engineer. He was blessed enough to have 6 job offers some of which were out of the state of Utah. I was so excited at the possibilites each of those offers brought to our life. As we narrowed down our decision it came down to 2 offers one was in Salt Lake City working for a large engineering firm which he had tried to get an internship with earlier in his collegic carreer, this company had a great reputation for taking care of it's employees and the work they did really interested Jeremy. The 2nd was working for a naval weapons testing area in California they paid for both me and Jeremy to go out and tour the facility and explore the area. The area was amazing the people were so friendly and I honestly could picture us raising a family there. I was excited to have the missionary experince and realized that it would be hard to be away from our families but knew that if that's where the Lord needed us to be that we would be blessed for it. We came back home and began to weigh out the pro's and con's and really started praying and fasting to figure out the Lord's will for us. We had blessings from our bishop and went to the temple several times. Finally in a moment of clarity and with a peace that only the spirit can bring we knew what was the right decision for our family. We accepted the job in Salt Lake City and began house hunting in the surrounding areas until we felt that same peace about our current home in Tooele. In a way I was so disappointed that we weren't leaving Utah and that my children would not be able to have those experinces that I so desired as a child.
Three years have come and gone since all of those decisions and I've had some time to see maybe some of the reasons why The Lord needed us here. Most of my neighbors are active members of our ward and the few who aren't active we've been able to become friends with. I've been able to have a small role and have seen a few people become converted in our time here but I wouldn't say that I've had any fantastic missionary experinces. If I am able to see anything of our short stay here it is being able to bloom where I'm planted. It's been my desire to help stregthen those around me and really bring the love of Christ more fully into the lives of those who I meet, whether they belong to the church of Jesus Christ or not. We can do a lot by stregthening our own members in our own ward and hope that maybe as I do that that somehow it blesses the lives of others. So dear Aunt, Please don't criticize me for being just another Utah Mormon. Know that we are where the Lord needs us to be. Jeremy and I commited a long time ago to go where He wants us to go, and Be what he wants us to be. I'm quite sure that there are many others living here in Utah that fall in the same catagory as us. We're not trying to hide our light and really are trying to be the best versions of ourselves.
I know for me as a high school teenager I still faced having to stand up for what was right even though my friends were all members of the church and had been taught the same standards that I had. That was really hard for me to have to remove myself from my friends because I knew that the choices they were making were wrong despite all of us being taught the same thing from the time we were young. Challenges will be presented to us regardless of where we live and who we're friends with. Having a relationship with your family still takes effort even if you live in the same state. I really think that what it comes down to is being able to further your testimony, striving to live up to your potential regardless of where you live. The question is Are you? I hope so. During this small moment of our mortal existence we are trying to align our Will with our Father's by using our own free agency. It's a process but I feel like we're doing our best. I know that as long as I'm living up to the covenants that I've made we will always be striving for that.
I'm grateful for the spirit and it's help in leading us to the right choices for our family and testify that as long as we earnestly seek it with a humble heart and open mind we can find the joy and happiness that is our for the taking. So I challenge you all (all 5 of you who read this blog) to stop and reflect, Are you where the Lord wants you? Are you being what the Lord wants you to be? Are you willing to do what he would have you do? If you are wonderful! Keep it up! Don't let go of that feeling and always strive to have it with you. If you feel like something is amiss, Pray, Ponder find out what it is that the Lord would have you do. I promise you that once you become inline with what his will is you will experince a joy that can only come from staying true to those things.

eight minutes that i enjoyed

2009-04-24T21:30:00.000-07:00

Progression

2009-03-30T15:00:00.001-07:00

Hey Readers,
So see this picture....See me bottom row second person from the left. Yes that is me in a basketball jersey without makeup and wearing those sporty head bands that keep your hair out of your eyes. Yes those are my cute little legs slightly blinding white but the point is that they are little and quite shapely if i can say so myself. This has been my latest endeavor. Now some of you may think it's no big deal to be on a basketball team that you didn't have to try out for or let alone play really well and still be able to get time on the courts but to me it's been a big deal.
I guess some people have considered me sporty but for those of you who really know me know that I'm not really sporty just knowledgeable about sports. For background I do have 5 very athletic and gifted brothers and I did play football and basketball with them regularly but I didn't play very well. I started ballet at the age of 4 and retired from that "sport" right before my 20th birthday. I still dance but just so you can all picture it all my "sporty" stuff is now done with a classically trained ballet mode. I run with my feet turned out and with proper posture. My husband who has perfect running form and could run 26.2 miles without any training and do it in record time has tried to correct my form to "improve" my running ability but he's fighting 15 years of ballet and old women with rulers yelling at me and constantly correcting my form so ballet always wins.
Jeremy has been really supportive of me running even if he silently snickers at what I consider my fast times and my long distances but when I told Jeremy I was going to go play basketball with other women Jeremy just couldn't take it any longer. He gently reminded me that I was not an athlete to help spare me embarrassment. Now maybe if I was a different woman I would have heeded his council and been satisfied with my pilates and running. But I'm prideful and his comments if anything spurred me on to prove him wrong.
Our first game I was completely intimidated. I could tell by the form of 9/10 of the women there had at least high school experience and wasn't shocked to find out many of them had college time as well. I play basketball like a ballerina trying to play basketball. My one and only advantage was that I was some what in shape and could run up and down the court without being winded. I still hyperventilated every time I was passed the ball and did my best to either pass it away or dribble a couple of times and make a ridiculous shot that somehow by a miracle at least came close to touching the basket.
But I played and was blown away when people said I was fast (because really I'm not) but I knew I was in shape enough to run about 4 miles without stopping.
Fast forward a few weeks and me feeling a little more comfortable about touching a basketball and actually being able to get it in the hoop. In addition I remembered how to guard and make other people feel intimidated by my "large" stature just as I'm starting to feel more comfortable the wonderful women I play with inform me that we're actually going to compete. I then start preparing my excuse why I can't play against other women and hope that for some reason I wouldn't be able to make it. But unfortunately I feel connected to these women and although my talent is so pale in comparison to theirs I know that I'll play with them. We practice a couple more times and sure enough the competition is here. I am so nervous by this day but that's where my competitive nature comes in. I have this fail safe feature about me that holds on to the fact that I'm AWESOME. As I contemplate my own awesomeness I realize that regardless of the out come of the competition I will remain AWESOME. It's how I've been my whole life and has gotten me through so much of my life but it's been awhile since I've had to rely on it.
We play a couple of games and do not look even close to the team that we've been as we've practiced together but I have a great time. We lose terribly but have a great time cheering each other on and show all the other teams how teams should look and act. As I looked at our defeat I started to wonder if this was just my lot in life. Always losing, coming in 2nd never really excelling and being my best. When my inner moderator (my personal biggest fan) reminds me of what I've accomplished. In a matter of weeks I went from barley being able to shoot a ball to being able to dribble a ball down a court calling a play and actually knowing where everyone should be after I call the play. I have improved and because of the friendships and pure awesomeness of these ladies I am continually improving.
Here's where I bring everything into perspective for everyone by yet another story from my life. I have had the privilege of getting to know nearly all of my great grandparents and have learned so much from them. My Father's maternal grandparents have by far been such role models to me. My Great Grandpa Warner was raised in a small community in Utah County during the great depression he met his wife on a blind date and was smitten to begin with. They were so in love with each other and were able to raise a beautiful family. My father was very close with them as the oldest grandchild and they loved him more than I'm sure he will ever realize. As my father aged and started his own family we were able to have a very unique and close relationship with my great grandparents. I remember spending many days fishing, gardening and enjoying the company of my great grandparents. When I was little I didn't realize what the great meant and honestly thought they were called great grandparents because in fact they were GREAT. Grandpa was always learning. Many times we would stop by around lunch time and find Grandpa reading some sort of book usually trigonometry or some other informative book. When Grandpa was in his mid-80's he bought a computer and started to teach himself how to use it and began writing out his own personal history. Sadly enough Grandma died and 3 months later Grandpa died of a broken heart. They were such a power couple always learning and progressing themselves and improving upon what they were given.
Now here I am 28 years old and I know that I need to also be improving and progressing. Right now it's easy to improve my health and be physically active. But with Basketball I was also able to improve my mind, my relationships with others and my overall self worth. So here's to more progression. More improving who I am and pushing that envelope of what I'm comfortable with all the time.
Thanks to the Charlie's Angels/Nancies/working girls that I play with and help me improve myself. And for any of you out there feeling really comfortable where you are try pushing yourself out just a little bit more and remember that this life is to progress and improve upon what we've been given.

It HAD to be said.

2009-03-02T09:52:00.000-08:00

Wow. Who doesn't love fast and testimony meeting? Our ward here in Tooele is so awesome. There are so many people who are rooted deep in the gospel and truly help me to see how to live better and become more like my savior. This Sunday's meeting was not any different either. We had so many Youth share their budding testimonies thanks to a little "challenge" from the bishop. I think the Young Women won there seemed to be more of them but the Young Men did a decent job as well. Just as the contest was getting really heated between the YW and YM a sweet sister in our ward got up whom I've learned and grown to love. She's very oppionated and has no qualms sharing her oppinions. She will be the first to admit this and always will give a side note that she may offend you even though that is not her intentions it's just the way she is. Well she began to tell about her trip to the Draper Temple Open House and how miserable it was because there was a mother and father who had the odacity to bring their 7 young children to the temple and amazingly enough the children where less than well behaved. She continued to complain on how she couldn't feel the spirit in the temple and this young family was all to blame. (K side note she has three children the oldest of which is 28 and then has an 18 year old girl and a 12 year old boy). She said to top off the awfulness when they got on a shuttle bus there was another young family with crazy kids and she had enough and let the father of the young family know that he needed to control his kids. Then she felt the need to let our very very young ward (we have a giant size ward with a humongus primary) (we had just had 3 baby blessings before the sacrament and there are quite a few sister in our ward ready to deliver even more babies) that our ward is hard to feel the spirit in because of all the kids are really loud and we need to get control and make our kids shut-up. A sister struggling with her own kids in front of me turned around and said "well, i've officially been rebuked." and another mom struggling with her 4 children behind me let out an audible gasp of horror. The sister continued on and said how her husband is really good to let things like this not bother him but she wasn't like him. As she finished up her testimony I couldn't even hear what she was saying because my heart was beating so loud and hard. I then had a mini dellima going on was my heart beating because I was mad and wanted to put that sister in her place or was I really feeling the spirit. I began to pray as I wrestled with my apparently "out of control" children to dechiper really what I was feeling as soon as I finished praying a childhood memory flooded back into my mind in full force and color and I knew that I HAD to share it.
I walked up to the super packed chapel with my crazy loud baby boy in my arms and shared the following story: (side note I promise I was lead by the spirit and what I said I'm not quite sure but I can tell you the memory but it may not hit you with the spirit that I felt while sharing that and for that I apologize)

In 1984 the Manti Temple was refurbished and updated to be a little more modern for the ease of accomadating the temple going people of the area. My parents had recently moved into the Manti temple district and decided to take their young family (My older brother was 7 I was 3 almost 4 my younger brother was 1 and half and my mom was pregnant with another baby) for the two hour trek to the temple. When we finally arrived to the temple I remember leaving my shoes at the front door. I was really apprehensive of leaving my beloved fancy church shoes at the door but was reassured by the fact that I knew Angels where at the temple and would protect my shoes. We walked through the entire temple I remember being confused at the baptismal font and why there were cows holding it up but we moved on. The next part I remember was walking up the spiral staircase to the sealing room and seeing my face in the mirror. As we began to go down the stairs I was terrified. My dad picked me up in his big Daddy arms and carried me down the steps and I knew I was safe. When we reached the bottom of the steps my dad gently placed me to the ground and knelt and looked at me he then said "Andrea, the next time you walk down these steps will be with the man you will have for all eternity."
We went on our merry way and I thought back on those moments from time to time and knew that I wanted to be married in the temple. It wasn't always easy to make the right choices but I knew that is where I wanted to be. Almost 18 years later I walked down those very same steps holding the hand of the man that I so deeply love. We had just been sealed and as we reached the bottom steps I couldn't help but think of my father and mother and the sacrafices they had made to make sure I knew how important temples are.

As I am now a parent of three young children sometimes it's really hard to get out and go to the temple. You have to find babysitters and often times it would be much easier to stay at home and know that someday when it gets easier we'll go to the temple and I remember the example of my parents and I know it's worth it now.

I finished my testimony and sat down but to you my readers I want to finish some thoughts. I am so grateful that my parents risked the chance of being scrutinized for having so many little kids and risking people judging there lack of parenting skills. As we took our own three little kids to the draper temple open house we worried if they would behave, if they too would disrupt the spirit there and worried that other might be upset as well. Jeremy woke up that morning with a serious sinus infection but still wanted to go to the temple with the kids so that they could have their chance to feel that spirit. To be completly honest our kids were by far less than perfect. Abby wanted to run all over and touch every single thing. Will fussed and cried and Lizzie had a hard time wanting me to hold her hand the entire time which was hard while I was trying to steer my sinus driven husband in the right direction while holding my squirmy two year old and comfort my one year old baby. But we went, a spirit was felt and now all I can do is continue to teach the importance of temples and show the blessing that my covenants are in my life.

When we make the effort the results may not always be perfect but the blessings will always be there. I am so grateful for the opportunities I have to teach my children and the reflections I have of my own childhood. I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ resides here on this earth today. I know that Joseph Smith truly saw God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ and truly restored the gospel in all of it's glory. I love my Savior and know that as I strive to live as he would I can be made perfect through the gift of the atonement.

For those of you who would like to go through the Draper Temple you still have time here's the link to get tickets. The tour ends March 14th.

Recipe

2009-02-24T20:18:00.000-08:00

I made an awesome salad for my sil baby shower and promised to share the recipe. So here it is. If any of you who were at the shower and know the email addresses of those who don't frequent my blog, send them a link for me.

Recipe:
Chicken Gorgonzola Pasta Salad
19 OZ radiatore nuggets
20 oz cubed cook chicken
15 slices cooked bacon cut into small peices
1 can Muir Glen organic fire roasted tomatoes drained
2 cups baby spinach
16 oz refrigerated ranch dressing
1 cup crumbled gorgonzola cheese

The changes I made. I omitted the spinach (read here forgot)
Instead of Gorgonzola cheese I used a cup of shredded white cheddar. Gorgonzola is stinkin' expensive. Just mix it all while pasta is still warm and serve either warm or cold it's good either way.

My Secret Valentine

2009-02-17T13:43:00.001-08:00

Our ward did a secret sister Valentine this year and I had so much fun making it I had to share it. (I don't think my secret sister is a frequenter of my blog but if she is sorry to ruin the secret). I thought really long and hard about what makes me happy and the first answer (after the appropriate family, the gospel etc..) was Chocolate. But I'm afraid I can't give just plain chocolate oh no I'm a fancy pants giver of Chocolate and thus these delicious creations where thus created.

I started with my favorite Girls Scout Thin mints recipe (yes you can make them and yes they are awesome) and cut the chocolate wafers into adorable little hearts. I then dipped them in yummy mint chocolate and let that dry.

Next I melted a new batch of chocolate and dipped these beautiful strawberries in the chocolate. They looked great with just the chocolate but a little white chocolate added a funness factor. The sucker sticks made it super easy to dip perfectly and the little red bows on top just tied it all together.

And there you go an adorable assortment of pure yumminess.

Sad side note is when I had my hired hit man deliver this bad boy of goodness to the secret sisters door no one was home. So I called and left a message to check their front porch but I surely hope they made it home in time to eat the yumminess. If someone out there knows who this secret sister is and somehow found out that she did not in fact get to gorge out on the goodness please let me know so I can make her another plate.
Thanks.

Meh-My Day and what not.

2009-02-10T21:18:00.001-08:00

I woke up this morning totally Jazzed. (Yes Jeremy, I really do say Jazzed it's corny but it get's the point across). I even remembered to say my morning prayers and made my bed right after getting out of bed. (this should all be attributed to the fact that i woke up before my kids.) I broke into my kids room with a giant smile and sang them my own rendition of some morning song I heard somewhere. Thank goodness my girls are still little because they smiled at me and sprang out of bed to smother me with their fresh morning goodness. We decided what to eat for breakfast and everyone began to eat out of their appropriate bowls. I devoured my bowl of Kix while multi-tasking and reading my scriptures at the same time. (I'll tell you what I'm super glad I wasn't a cheif judge with feuding brothers whom had nasty kishkumen friends (although I do think the name kishkumen is a super cool name) I probably would have ended up dead) After reading about people killing people I decided to take my morning energy and attack the dishes in the sink (mostly because I didn't want people to come over for our morning yoga and be nauseated by the smell of dinners of yesterday). My energy spilled over onto a broom and I swept the floor in despicable glee (really i was pretending that i was in Sleeping Beauty and I had just waved a magic wand at the broom and it swept the floor on it's own). I quickly ushered my children back upstairs to help them look a little more loved and a little less homeless. I pulled all of their hair out of their faces switched out milk drenched pj's for clean smelling shirts and changed the appropriate diapers. I looked at the clock and ran downstairs to move all the furniture out of my greeting room to make room for happy yoga going women. (yes, all of the furniture minus my piano, which if i had the muscle strength I would probably move as well so we could fit just a couple more women in.) I started researching new pilates moves for my little 15 minute segment of yoga. (i'm obsessed with toning my arms.(i just got called as Ward Choir Director and I have giant fears of Relief Society flap on my arms.) (mostly because i said i never will have that and well we all know what happens when you do that)). I realized other women wouldn't bring weights so I started trying to find weights for them. Food storage came to the rescue as I noticed the weightage of my cans of refried beans. Just as I finished huffing all the cans up from my basement my phone rang and the most amazing yoga instructor called to say she wouldn't be able to make it. *PANIC* It was too late to call all the people who come over so thus I had to stretch my 15 minute segment into an hour. --Breathe--Breathe----Breathe, I can do this. So I had to review every single move I've come to learn and somehow flow it into a 60 minute routine.(not to mention not focus on the fact that people would be looking at me and realize that i'm way too uncoordinated and under qualified to be teaching this show biz) But before I really could psych myself out people are knocking on the door and they are all smiling and happy to be in my furniture less room and laughing and really excited to work out. (because darn it all we're going to look awesome before swimsuit season gets here) And thus we start the work out. All is going well, children are playing about my entire house and mini moments of chaos erupt but we keep pressing forward. Abby soon realizes where I am and decides it's really funny when Mommy is holding a plank position (and praying really hard that relief society arms will flap their last flap) if she climbs on top of mommy and say getty up she should get a good laugh. And now the downward spiral begins. I'm just getting into the final sweat off of the routine when darling Will reminds me that I failed to clean up Abby's oatmeal by bringing in the bowl and drops it at my downward dog feet. Lovely. I then realize that all the kids are playing in the kitchen and I can smell markers. Sure enough 8 kids plus 24 markers equals a non focused pilates instructor. We finish regardless and I say goodbye to my happy yoga women. I begin to survey the damage and really start wishing that I was in some disney movie where I could either wiggle a magic wand or sing a sweet song and have adorable woodland creatures clean my previously cleaned kitchen again.
But I have children who are starving and need to be fed at that exact moment despite the fact that it's way before lunch time. I tell them I'll get lunch as soon as I'm done checking my email. (Darn Internet you harlot. always tempting me to spend way too much time with you making me oblivious to things that are far more pressing) I begin to sink into the internet like an old soggy couch only to realize that the pantry door is wide open and fair game to my one year old son. I realize this as the sound of cheerios are sprinkling on the ground only to be crunched by the cutest little toes you've ever seen. I fully come out my internet induced coma to see my sweet boy with a box of upside down cheerios clutched in his arms and a giant lopsided smile on his delicious face.
I have two choices at this point either yell and get mad at the giant mess that this baby boy made or laugh pretty hard and get my magic broom out once again.
I laugh. Sweep and am so grateful that I said my prayers in the morning and asked for the patience to be a good mom.
You know the rest of the day could probably be summed up with similar ups and downs (don't even get me started about my adventure to Wal-Mart at 5:00 I must have taken some serious crazy pills) but all in all I was able to be a somewhat decent Mom today and I feel pretty good about that. Let's see how I do tomorrow.

I HEART Macey's

2009-01-26T08:55:00.001-08:00

Friday night is a special night in our house. It's always a date night with or without the kids. This past weekend just happened to be a date night with the kids. And what better activity to do with kids and let your significant other know how much you care for them then a date night at Macey's. Now before anything else I have to express my endless love for Maceys. Besides having the best produce, meat and awesome prices they have this thing called Customer Service. See Wal-Mart here in Tooele seems to be the center of the universe and everyone and I mean Everyone shops there as if it were some sort of High-end mall. The only problem with the overshopped box store is that the people that work there have this problem with helping people. I know we really shouldn't bother the people there to help us with any questions we have and heaven forbid they even make eye contact with us or greet us with a hell-o or even a smile. I mean honestly why should they do that. Well call them Crazy but Macey's has the best Customer Service ever. I can't walk around a new aisle without running into their cute staff in their blue aprons with a smile and asking me if I need help with anything. I'm sure with three kids in the cart jumping everywhere and me singing some sort of song I must look crazy and in need of serious help but they are always there. In the check out line if it ever takes too long the checkers are stocked with candy bars (full size ones mind you), Smarties and balloons. They always offer to help me out to the car with the groceries and will load my car while I wrestle my kids into their car seats. Yes, I HEART Macey's with giant bold letters. Thus my little weekend trip is even more embarassing.
After looting the store for as much stuff as our cart could possibly carry and getting all three kids their required balloons and smarties and running out into the thick fog and searching for our car. Jeremy unloaded the cart while I wrestled the kids and balloons into the car and into appropiate seats. We came home and began the process of unloading all of our groceires and trying to simatameiously get the kids in pj's and bed. We noticed a little something was missing from our groceries. When we came to the end of the grocery bags all we had left were the storage buckets, sugar and flour bags and still no Frozen Chicken, Brocolli, Carrots, Corn, Tortolleni and a few other frozen food items. We searched through the car several times and then began to think badly of my beloved Macey's. I mean seriously it was at least three bags of groceries missing! How does someone miss puting three bags in a cart. I called Macey's and they said they hadn't had any missing food reported to them so it must have been put in another shoppers cart. I was ticked! They told me to come back and I could get all the missing items. Jeremy began to mock my Macey's and I must admit that I lost my faith in the best store that Tooele has to offer. I got in the car drove threw a thickening fog and somehow arrived at the store without a single accident. I went straight to the customer service desk explained to the nice lady what had happened and tried to let them know I was disappointed in what seemed to be poor bagging skills. I gathered all my missing groceries brought them back to the customer service lady she bagged all my groceries I went to hand her the reciept and she said it wasn't necessary. Ummm wow way too trusting. I drove back home in the even thicker fog and barley made it back to my house. I put all the groceries away and then went to take the buckets down stairs to fill with the flour and sugar. When I lifted the buckets they were so heavy. I was totally baffeled. I opened the lid only to find the forgotten frozen food. I was so glad that I was home because I could feel my face flush as red as a sunburned utahn on a cruise.
Jeremy laughed pretty hard. I had the mixed emotion of wanting to cry and laugh and scream that's probably why my face was red it was an consitpated emotion effect. Well I pleaded and pleaded with Jeremy to take the groceries back. Jeremy just laughed more. I could tell that he was in no state to drive through the fog. I thought for a second that I could keep the groceries but then that annoying good girl in me rejected that and so with tears trickling down my face I got back in the car with my stolen booty and braved the fog one more time.
I made it back to the store barley being able to make out the giant yellow MACEY'S and started my walk of shame back to the customer service desk. The customer service lady was shocked to see me back. I explained what had happened. I was awaiting some sort of snotty lady look or remark but instead got a gentle laugh and a warm smile. I put the groceries on the counter and before I could turn and walk away once again in shame she handed me a sucker and gave me a happy Thank you. I almost asked if I could have a balloon to see if that could help lift my dragging behind but amazingly enough made it out of the store on my own will power.
And thus my love has been fully restored to Macey's. Although I'm still a little ashamed and questionable if I'm still worthy of the love that Macey's gives to all so well maybe not totally free but at amazing low prices, not to mention their great produce and meat sections.
I love you Macey's!(I've added a link to their store just in case you want to start hearting them as well)

Cute as a tape worm.

2009-01-19T13:01:00.000-08:00

So I had this wacked out dream last night and I so need to write it out in hopes that it'll make more sense to me.

So Michael, from The Office (the T.V. show) and I were grocery shopping at Albertson's in Price. (Which made total sense because that's where I did all of my grocery shopping when I was at CEU over 9 years ago) As we were shopping in the frozen food section I couldn't help but notice something white wiggling out of his skin. I recognized them at once as maggots and noticed a lot of wiggily things underneath the skin of his arm. So we went back to his apartment which looked a lot like the homes that the who's live in in Horton hears a who. He turned on the T.V. and started watching something while I went and got the tweasers to pluck the maggots out of his arm. Jeremy came by to pick me up from Michael's house and noticed something wiggiling underneath the skin on my right arm right above my elbow. Jeremy knew he had to get it out of my arm and I was so mad at Michael for spreading his nasty maggots to my arm. I was peterbed but when Jeremy started slicing my arm open to get the maggot out I was amazed that my arm looked a lot like the chicken breast that I buy from Maceys. I wasn't grossed out by the meat of my arm but more of the fat pocket that this maggot was digging in. Jeremy couldn't reach the maggot so he went and got his needle nose pliers and as he started to tug on it we noticed it wasn't a maggot but a long white tape worm. The incision that Jeremy had made was really deep but Jeremy didn't know how to close the wound so I went to find my dad. Dad was way too busy to help me and said that it would just heal itself if I didn't move too much. Which was totally plausiable except for the fact that I am a mom of three kids and had a mountain biking trip planned with Brother Wihonghi from the Overlake 2nd ward. I was showing brother Wihonghi the super cool bike trailer I had for my kids and he wanted to buy it for me but had to test it out. So I showed him that it could tip from side to side and the kids would stay safe. You could even jump off your bike and let the kids crash in it and they would still be Okay. Then I started complaining about my incision on my arm but if I held my arm just right it stayed close. I started biking up this hill right next to a park that climbed the mountain following brother Wihonghi and watching all the kids climb on Monkey Bars.
When I woke up this morning my arm hurt really bad and my legs felt like they had been pushing on something really hard all night long.

Another weird side note. My eyelashes are falling off or breaking off right in the middle of my lash line and I don't know why. It's driving me nuts but every time I go to buy fake eyelashes I can't do it. So instead of having regular looking eyelashes I look like I've had some sort of bad dance with a flame thrower. Or a pair of maverick scissors. or.....I'm so screwed up.

The Man Cold

2009-01-07T18:25:00.000-08:00

a friend posted this. Ya that about says it all.

Girl Time

2008-11-24T20:09:00.000-08:00

So hello blogger world. My mind has been churning lately. Well churning more than usual. And some people may understand my churn but some may only be able to sympathize.
So as many of you know I'm the only girl of 5 brothers. I love each and everyone of my brothers so much. They really are so crucial to me and who I have become. But honestly each of my birthdays from the time I was 5 on I wished for a little sister. With each brother came small disappointments but in the end ginormous love. I always thought, "well, I guess I'll get a sister when my brothers marry or when I get married". And man I've been blessed. I love my sister-in-laws like crazy. They are all so unique and amazing. I've learned so much from them and truly feel so blessed to count them all as such good friends. I have no doubt if we had met in different circumstances we'd be lifelong friends anyhow. I've had many friends who have held me in troubling times and lifted my spirits. Many friends that I've been able to share those deeply personal experiences with and continue to meet many "sisters" in the gospel that I'm sure have been put in my path for a reason.
Yet here my brain churns with that little girl wish still. (And No. Mom, honestly if you gave birth to another child now I would be forever freaked out. I know that Sarah and Sariah did it but I think I'll be ok. really.) It bugs me that I still want a sister and I think now as a 28 year old woman I finally understand why.
I watch groups of sisters do things together as adult women. Things like going to Women's conference, reading books together, "borrowing" clothes from each other (I know that was/is a major battle for many of you sisters, but still I can't ever borrow my brothers clothes when I go home.) Anything girly you want to do or talk about you've got someone to talk about it with. Trust me I tried telling my brothers my birth stories and they were both disgusted and embarassed and weired out for a lifetime.
I have been blessed with an amazing mother whom, for the longest time, I've considered to be one of my best friends. And she is so great to talk to me about all these things and share with me her life experinces which I am so so so grateful for. Yet.... It's not the same. This has bugged me as well. And finally it dawned on me. My mom cannot be my sister. She can remember my childhood but not as a child, she can only remember me as a parent watching a child grow. She may have been annoyed with me as I grew but she, luckily for me, had the patience of a mother not the lack of patience of a sister. I can relate my girly stories with my mom but her stories are decades dated and not quite the same as mine. Of course there will be similarities but THANKFULLY things have changed in the whole womanly department in the past few decades. I share my childhood memories with my brothers and thankfully they see things as boys not as girls. And as I'm experincing this time around as a parent, girls and boys do not exactly see things the same way.
I honestly believe that having a sister is like having a piece of your childhood forever within glance. My heart aches at times for this sister that has never been and despite my best efforts to feel that void it never will be what I'm looking for.
(Man this is a drag of a read) I really don't know what my point is in writing this. Maybe it's to help those of you out there with sisters better appreciate the gift that you've been given. Maybe it's to help those of you out there who don't have sisters understand maybe the ache of your own heart. Or maybe it's just to help me vent this and find some sort of closure or some kind of reasoning to my own heart strings.
Anyhow to my friend sisters,
Thank you. Thank you for going on long walks with me. Thank you for hugging me when I felt down. Thank you for helping me pick out clothes that made me look skinny and made my eyes sparkle. Thank you for eating Ice Cream with me in the freezing cold winter. Thank you.
To my sisters in the gospel,
Thank you. Thank you for sharing your spirit and lifting me to new higher levels. Thank you for praying with me and reading with me. Thank you for serving me and giving me the opportunity to serve you.
To my Sister-in-laws,
Thank you. I love you all so very much and truly feel so blessed to have you in my life. I am so grateful to my husband for having such fantastic sisters and for my brother and brother-in-law to marrying such amazing and dynamic women. I know that you all are really the closest thing I will have to a real sister. I guess it could be a blessing that we didn't know each other growing up but even if we did I'm pretty sure we'd get over it.
To my Mother-in-law,
Thank you. Thank you for raising such wonderful girls to become the women that they are. Thank you for raising the boys to become the men that they are, especailly for my man. It's amazing to me how easy it has been to flow into your family and feel as if I've always been there. Thank you
And lastly to my Mom,
Thank you. Thank you for being my friend, my mom and my sister. I know you did your best to get me a sister but I'm pretty sure Heavenly Father knew I'd be Ok with just you. Thank you for teaching me, serving me, listening to me and being so patient with me. I love you more than words can say. I know because of the things you've helped me see that we will always be able to have our special connection. I love you.
If any of you out there are still reading this. Thanks. I really do know that we are all children of God and honestly that makes us all brothers and sisters. I'm grateful for the knowledge that I am a daughter of God and how that has helped me realize who I really can be. I know that He loves me and I will spend my life trying my best to show him that I love him too.

Things that I should have been doing instead of reading twilight.

2008-11-05T17:58:00.000-08:00

Darn it all. I am if anything a trend bucker. The more someone pushes something or raves about how awesome something is I tend to shy away from it. I know it's stupid but in my defense I thought it was always funny when people would use the line "everybody is doing it" you know like in" just say 'no'" seminars and what not. Honestly that pitch doesn't ever really appeal to me so when all of my friends, family, strangers on the street, Ellen Degeneres started talking about the Twilight series and the soon to come movie, my eyes nearly sprained themselves from rolling so much. I was the same way with the Harry Potter Series, The Lord of the Rings, Blogging, and probably a whole bunch of other things that if I were to admit them now I'd feel like a GIANT hypocrite. Well I thought I'd get on the Library's waiting list for the overly talked about Twilight series giving me plenty of time to let all the hype be done. Unfortunately the Library had a copy right there that very day and I had to take it because for some weird glitch in their system they couldn't put me on the list as long as they had a copy in the building. Fine. I was slightly irritated that I would have to join all the avid readers and put my life on hold. I figured I would wait and start the darn book when I was at my parents house while the husband was on a hunting trip with all the other manly men from my family. I threw the book down after the first three chapters and started to think all these crazy people think this is a good book!! First it really bugged me that the story was told in first person because honestly what insight can an author really give you in first person. Secondly, Bella I mean come on grow-up already. I know I was a little judgemental and harshly critical but because I have this OCD thing about books I decided to finish the book so that I could let all the dumb people who loved this book how warped their brains were. Ummm my mistake the book was awesome. I eagerly texted all my friends who had read it and begged for their forgiveness for being so slow to head their raves. Anyhow after I emerged from reading book 1, 2, 3, and 4 plus the midnight sun manuscript on-line. I looked around my home to discover I may have neglected a few things while I submerged with vampires, werewolves, stupid teenage hormones and the taste of anticipation, twitterpation and then of course love. Anyhow I could tell you all the things that I liked about the books but they're probably the same things you liked. I didn't like Jacob Black at all (Sorry tonia, he's just a dorky teenage boy to me) and to be completely honest laughed so hard in book 4 when that thing happens to him and the kid ( I'm trying to be vague for those who haven't read it yet) that I had to call a friend to have her calm me down. Also what the junk was with her telling the story from Jacob's point of view??? Seriously there were a few more options out there but I guess when you tell the story in 1st person it gets kind of tricky to cover character depth. Anywho I'm excited to see the movie just so I can laugh at how poorly it depicts the books. But I digress, the series was thoroughly entertaining and my house could use a serious maid right around now but I thought I would take pictures so you could all feel better about neglecting things to for a moment or two of indulgence.

Up first are the dirty dishes overflowing out of my sink. The smell was nasty.

But on closer examination there was a balloon in the sink so I didn't have that many dishes but they still stunk really bad.

Next up was the weeds in my garden, ummm all of that, morning glory. Ya it's supposed to be strawberries. But the snow is coming soon right?

Clothes that should have been unpacked from a long time ago still sitting in various duffel bags. It was nice to find some clean clothes though.

Clothes that should have been folded and put away but instead were strewn across the floor mixing in with the dirty clothes. Not so awesome.

Abby's constant outfit. Here princess nightgown and butterfly wings. Ya luckily we didn't leave the house much and occasionally I made her wear pants and a shirt with them but I wasn't really going to fight her much not if it took away from reading time.
Gorgeous here was so completely content as long as he had something to eat. Sometimes washing him off was too big of a chore but I still did it after I was done with a chapter. (Seriously I'm so glad I'm done.)
I mean look at those hands. You can see the junk between the fingers. At least he's cleaner now.

All in all a great read but I'm glad to be done. I'll seriously be glad when I can walk around and stop trying to think like a vampire or wonder what it would be like to read that person's brain, or wonder if i growled at that person if they would give me a dirty hiss in return.
"Well off to buck a new trend." She said with a chagrin smile.... OK I had to throw that one in too because seriously how many times can you use that word? And who ever really says it on a daily basis? But go...Read...Neglect....it's OK everyone is doing it.

Growing Old

2008-10-06T20:11:00.000-07:00

Gpa and Gma Rawlings were here on Lizzie's Birthday and were lucky enough to spend the night. The next morning as I was getting the girls cereal and what not Gma Rawlings snuck by to visit the lady's room and Lizzie and I had the following conversation:
"Mom?"
"Yes sweetie?"
"I don't want you to be a Grandma when you grow up?"
"Why wouldn't you want me to be a grandma? Don't you want to be a mom?"
"Yes but....." her little voice was close to cracking and she was on the verge of tears
"But what?"
"When you become a Grandma you won't love me as much as you love your grandkids."

So Grandmas and Grandpas out there beware that Grandkids can see how you love them so. And don't forget to show your grandkids that you love your kids.

Dear LiZzIe

2008-09-30T20:47:00.001-07:00

My Dear precious Lizzie,
So you are now 5 years old. Wow it has been so amazing being your Mom. I am forever grateful that you are my first child. You have made being a mother challenging and yet incredibly joyful. You are doing so much right now, but that's how you came to this earth. I could tell from the moment you took in your first breath that you took so much in with each breath.
I'm so proud of you and the good choices you are making so early in your life. I would love to say it's because I'm a great mother. I do try my best to teach you right from wrong, and I try to help you remember who you are but a lot of your choices come because you know. I worry already that people are going to try to strip that knowledge from you and every time I send you out into the world I secretly hyperventilate until you come back to me. But as we visited your preschool this past week and listened to your teacher talk about you my heart was so filled with joy. She told me that you were a leader, and not the snotty kind of leader that tells people what to do. Instead of telling people that they are doing things wrong you help them. You let them know how great they are and still help them learn things the right way. You reach out to those around you and are kind to those who need it. She told me about how smart you are and we already knew that and there is much that we can do to help that continue but above all your academic skills what really means the most to me is that you are staying true to who you are. I never thought it was so possible to feel the spirit so strong come from a 5 year old girl but as I try to teach you things and help you learn and grow I feel the spirit all the time. I know that you are learning quickly and for a very important reason.
I hope you can stay a little girl for a little while longer. That is why I don't let you watch Hannah Montana, I'm sorry if it's selfish but I want you to stay as pure as possible for as long as possible. I love watching you play dress-up. You are such a sweet and proper princess that it really cracks me up. So if you don't mind I'm going to let you indulge in the sweet things for awhile.
You are such a kind sister. Much kinder than I ever was. You think about how everyone feels and truly want everyone to be happy. I've seen you sacrifice things that on an adult level may not seem like much but to a kid I know it means a lot.
You are my big helper. I really will panic when you go to kindergarten next year. I marvel at the things I ask you to do and that you actually do them. I don't know if all 1st borns are this way but you are incredibly responsible and amazingly mature.
You have a way about you that draws people to you and people recognize immediately who you are. It's always been that way but as you get older it gets stronger and stronger.
I see you take pride in what others say about you and I worry sometimes that you might need that too much. Don't worry about what others say. You are enough on your own. It's nice to hear nice things but be strong enough to be able to go on without it.
Most importantly remember who you are. You are a beautiful daughter of God. As long as you live up to that potential you will never have to worry about anything. It's not always easy. People, things and sometimes even yourself will want to pull you down but you, my dear daughter, can rise above it all.
I love you so much and will forever be grateful that you have been in my life. I look forward to the next 5 years and seeing how much more you can grow. I'm proud of you. And hope you know how much you mean to me.
Love Forever and Ever
Your Mom

Candy Bar Pops

2008-09-30T15:28:00.001-07:00

1 bag of funsize milk chocoalte covered candy bars with some chewy caramel center cut in half
32 craft sticks
1 box of cake mix
1/2 of vegetable oil
2 eggs
1/2 of powdered sugar or colored candy sprinkles

Heat oven to 350
In large bowl beat cake mix oil, egss until smooth

Peirce each candy bar half with craft stick

For each cookie pop form 1 rounded tablespoon (a small scoop for papmpered chef people) flatten in palm of hand.
Place candy bar on dough and form dough around candy making sure to seal all sides.
Roll in candy sprinkles
Place on cookie sheet (if your using a cookie sheet line it with foil or parchment paper but I will forever use my stones.)
Bake at 350 for 10-13 minutes. Let cool on sheet for 2 minutes remove from cookie sheet to cooling rack and completely cool about 30 minutes. Wrap in plastic and tie with curling ribbon.

So cute and simple and delicious. Love it.

The secert is in the shoes.

2008-09-25T21:37:00.000-07:00

Dear Payless Lady,
You were so helpful today and honestly you should get an award for being so happy. But as you left to go pick up my online order from the back of the store I had to hide my terrible secret. See while you were helping the lady in front of me in such a friendly fashion I noticed that my two year old had somehow houdinied her way out of her diaper and it was clinging to one leg by the miracle of her adorable shortalls. As you went to show the lady the adorable hot pink heels in the freakishly large women's shoe size I quickly removed the diaper from my baby girl's leg and descretly jammed into my stuffed to the gills purse. You came back and got my name and said with such a cheery smile that you would be back in a giffy. I prayed that you would hold to that because I knew I had a tickin' peeing time bomb. But as I got lost in the women's shoe section (I so desperatly need a new pair of black heels) I heard the words "Mom, potty." My gaze fell to the wet stuff dripping down my girl's leg and noticed a little splashieness in her adorable pink plastic shoe. Just then you appeared from the back room. I quickly scanned the floor and saw a mini and by mini I mean maybe a few droplets size puddle and just happened to scoot a box over it. I took the shoes from you and quickly signed the paper hoping you wouldn't notice my girl's pee wetted shortalls (still cute even with a mini pee mark) You asked so kindly if you could put the shoes in a bag for me, I hesitated and had a mini-debate in my brain whether I should tell you or not and then just shook my head out of a pure dummy mommy moment caused by my girl splashing her feet in those adorable plastic pink shoes. As I carted all three of my children out of the store as quickly as I could I wondered if the few pee droplets would stink up your store. I wondered if maybe that would take your customer service down a notch and felt really bad about that. So I hope really that you didn't notice the mini puddle under the shoe box and I hope that you still keep helping people find the shoes they need and pointing out adorable hot pink heels in freakishly large sizes. And I hope that you might be able to forgive me for being an embarassed mom that just had too much on her plate for one day.
Anyhow Keep smiling,
Andrea
p.s. let me know if those adorable hot pink heels come in my size. Thanks ;)

What do you do.....

2008-09-05T17:32:00.001-07:00

With 16 cups of Shredded Zucchini? My next door neighbor brought over a zucchini the size of my arm plus a few inches thicker. So I shredded it all and went to town making bread and cake. And that still left me with 8 cups of Zucchini. So I froze the rest but I thought I would share this killer awesome cake recipe. I put a cup of milk chocolate chips in the batter and then a cup of semi-sweet on top. Then sprinkled powder sugar for show. Serve it with a scoop of ice cream and yummy yummy. It's a good thing I'm running like crazy now or I'd be a good 15 lbs over weight from this cake alone.
Click here for the recipe.

Confessions and Milestones

2008-09-03T21:40:00.000-07:00

So short little post. I need to confess something. Sometimes I wait to go to the bathroom until Jeremy gets home from work just merely for the fact that it's the only time I can be all by myself for a little while. It's like a little get-a-way from the kids moment. I can shut the door and not have to worry if any of the kids are choking on polly pocket parts, or smearing butter like finger paint all over the walls, or deciding they're hungry and emptying the refrigerator shelf by shelf only to remember that they don't like healthy food.
And my own personal milestone today I ran/walked 6 miles today! I walked the 3 before dinner with a friend and then after dinner ran 3 with a different friend. The best part was we ran the 3 miles well under 30 minutes. I think I'm getting closer to my target weight if I only had a scale to really see. I feel better and I'm starting to look better in my pants. My goal is to be able to fit into a nice pair of skinny jeans by my birthday which is ps 7 weeks away. Anyhow I feel really good right now and thought I'd post it.

Fitting considering it's our anniversary and all.

2008-08-31T21:30:00.000-07:00

The Man I Married
(I was tagged by my SIL, Tonia)
1. What is his name? Jeremy
2. Who eats more? Depends who's pregnant..ok just kidding Jeremy could probably eat me out of house and home if he wanted to but I can come close.
3. Who said I love you first? I did. I'm not very good at not saying how I feel with him for some reason.
4. Who is taller? Jeremy by a few inches. It's a perfect height as far as I'm concerned.
5. Who is smarter? Crap, I want to say me. I mean really really bad want to say me but I think we're pretty close although I'm not an electrical engineer I guess where he lacks I make up and vice a versa.
6. Who is more sensitive? Before we got married I so wasn't sensitive but there was something that happened when we put on wedding rings and now I'm on constant sensitivity watch.
7. Who does the laundry? I think Jeremy did once....So if we left it up to him we'd be wearing disposable clothes by now.
8. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? I do, no matter where we are sleeping it just feels weird otherwise. Even when Jeremy is out on business or something I still sleep on the right side.
9. Who pays the bills? I do but Jeremy is really good at reminding me.
10. Who cooks more? Who would you want to cook more??? If Jeremy cooked more our diet would consist of pasta roni, baked potatoes and some sort of meat. He's King of the grill though.
11. What meals do you cook together? If it's a meal where we're grilling anything and when ever I need a "prep chef" Jeremy is really handy in the kitchen.
12. Who is more stubborn? He would say I was and I would say he was and that's where we'll leave that.
13. Who is the first to admit they're wrong? Me, and Me and then Me again. I usually have to write a proof to show Jeremy where he was wrong and wait for some committee to publish it.
14. Who has more siblings? I do by one but we're both the 2nd and both of our older brothers names' are Michael. (it gets really confusing when we're talking about them)
15. Who wears the pants in the relationship? What pants? we're more of a free flowing pair of shorts.
16. What do you like to do together? Hang out with each other/ friends, enjoy the outdoors, watch movies/ good t.v., watch sports (so excited for college football season!!!) and other stuff that I can't really think of now.
17. Who eats more sweets? Ya I clean house on this. Jeremy had no sweet tooth at all when we got married but at least now he will eat them occasionally.
18. Guilty pleasures? He can down an entire bag of chips without even second thought. His new baby the 4 wheeler, Riding his mtn. bike, and dumb adam sandler type movies that I can't stand to watch. And how could I forget to mention Ultimate Frisbee time has a way to escape him when he's playing.
19. How did you meet? We had a mutual friend run for Student Body officer at USU and we helped him out with his campaign. After Jeremy's friends dated my friends and then stopped dating each other Jeremy and I still wanted to hang out. We were really good friends for a good while before we actually took the plunge and started "dating".
20. When did you fall in love with him? Honestly I don't know if there was a moment, I loved that I could just be myself with him instead of playing the whole "dating"game. He's just so stinkin' cool.
21. Who has changed the most since you married? Both of us think that neither one of us have changed. Well Jeremy doesn't think that he's changed and I don't think I've changed but I think he's changed and he thinks I've changed so.....
22. Who proposed? Jeremy, with much sneaky planning with his Mom. Seriously it was sneaky sneaky.
23. His best features? Is awesomeness a feature? He's got a great smile, eyes etc. etc.
24. What is his greatest quality? I don't know if there's just one but I love that he never, and I mean never says anything bad about anyone. He's humble, and honestly has such a good heart. He cares about everyone whether they think so or not.
25. Tag? Mindy, Traci, Lexie, Kristen. Anyone else who wants to.

Lying, loving and choices

2008-08-07T13:34:00.000-07:00

So a little story today and I don't know if everyone will enjoy it but it is for sure something that has me thinking a lot today.
Monday Lizzie was off playing with her little friend from across the street. Which was fantastic by all parts on my account. When Jeremy called me and let me know that it was his companies ultimate Frisbee teams championship game that night and he was thinking he wanted to play. The downside was he drove into work and had to come back to Tooele get his clothes and have dinner in his belly all before 6:00. This would all but require a miracle on my part where as it was 4:30 and I had yet to take a shower that day and dinner was still being contemplated. But I was up for the challenge and told Jeremy I would do all in my power to have things ready to go for him. So off I ran to jump in the shower while the meat was thawing. Just as I was about to strip down Lizzie came running in asking if she could get her swimsuit on and play in the sprinkler at her friend's house. I told her No because we would be going to SLC and I didn't want her to get all wet before dinner. A major melt down ensued and I sat there on the stairs knowing my clock was ticking. I told Lizzie that she could either stay inside and throw a fit or she could go back outside and find something else to do with her friend. She agreed and went outside to play. I settled a couple of babies down checked the meat which was nearly thawed by now looked at the clock and went to jump in the shower once again when the telephone rang. Normally I would have let it go to the answering machine but I had a feeling it was my neighbor across the street. Sure enough it was and the following conversation took place:
"Andrea?"
"Hi Kari. What's up?"
"Lizzie is saying that you said she could play in the sprinkler she just needed to borrow Tessa's swimming suit. I thought I would just run it by you before I said Ok."
Steam poured out of my ears and I very calmly told Kari that no such conversation happened between me and Lizzie and if she could please send Lizzie home for lying.
Kari agreed and asked if Tessa ever did the same thing that I would return the favor. I assured her I would and hung up the phone. I figured I'd jump in the shower and try to calm myself down so that I could discipline Lizzie out of love. I did the fastest shower possible taking into account that I have like 10 lbs of hair. Jumped out and dressed and called for Lizzie to come up to talk to me. But there was no reply. I called again only to hear Abby answer back. I ran downstairs to confront the pretending-she-wasn't-there Lizzie only to find no Lizzie. I called over to the neighbors home to find that Lizzie had returned there. She had told the neighbor that I was in the shower and I said that it was OK for her to play for a little while. More steam poured out of my ears and exited from my mouth and the top of my head this time. I told her to once again send Lizzie home and assured her that she would not be returning. I paced back and forth watching my window. I could not wait to get the little deviant lying child home. Where did she get off lying like that. Where did she learn that that was OK. Not from her Mother. I see her leave the neighbors home. Watch her look carefully 6 or 7 times before she crosses the street. And wait for her at the front door. I needed to think of something good to help this girl learn that she cannot lie. She opens the door and the first thing that pops out of my mouth is a pure reincarnation of my mother.
"Straight to your room for the rest of the night." I wanted to pull the words back in almost as quickly as they fell out but it was too late. Lizzie cried and cried as I walked her to her room. I put her down on her bed and said "You lied twice. You disobeyed me twice. And you have disappointed me." And I left the room. As I listened to her wail I knew the punishment seemed a little harsh but I hoped that maybe it would teach her a lesson. Lizzie has had this problem lately of lying to many many people and I would really like her to learn quickly the positive side of being honest.
As I chopping my vegetables downstairs for a quick stir-fry Jeremy comes in. I tell him what happened and he gives me the look letting me know that I've been a little too dramatic and then says "well I guess we can't go to the game now." I hadn't even thought of that. But he said it was OK that the roster was already full and he wouldn't have got in much playing time. I finish making dinner and go upstairs to get Lizzie for dinner. As soon as I open the door Lizzie asks "Why don't you love me anymore." And I'm hit with this complex emotion where I want to laugh but feel like I got hit in the gut at the same time. I tell her that I still love her and will always love her but she made choices and these are the consequences of her choices. I bring her down for dinner and she is a very very good girl through dinner. But as soon as dinner was over I walked her back to her room. She cries again and says "I wanted to spend time with my family." Another crushing blow to my mom persona. I sit her down and tell her that I love spending time with her but she has to finish her punishment. She asks me if I will ever love her again. I remind her once more that I will love her always no matter what she does. She then begins to meltdown again. She starts bartering "You can take away my toys. How about I don't play with friends tomorrow. No dessert for a week." And literally I can feel my heart breaking for her and as I hug her as tight as I can reassuring her that I love her so much I am hit with this amazing feeling. This must be close to how Heavenly Father feels when his children suffer the consequences of their wrong choices. We ask if our Heavenly Father has forgotten us, if he doesn't love us anymore. We beg for the consequences to be taken away. We say that we'd rather take something else. Our hearts ache and we cry. And yes our Father is there. He hears us. He loves us still but he can't take away the consequence not because he doesn't have the power to but because he is just and true. I believe that his heart aches just as sorely if not more for us as we suffer. In that moment of clarity I was so glad to be a parent. I was so glad to have come a little closer to understanding the nature of my Heavenly Father. I was so glad for the atonement of Jesus Christ and the passage that it gives us to come back to our loving father.
She eventually calms down and we talk about lying and making choices and love parents have for their children. And although Lizzie is not quite 5 yet I think she understood a lot. As I get ready to leave her in her room we hug one more time and I again assure her that I love her. And she lets me know that she loves me.
A short time later I bring Abby up and Lizzie is sitting nicely on her bed in her nightgown with a smile on her face. She says." Mom I won't lie ever again. I know what I did was wrong and tomorrow morning I'm going to apologize to sister Scribner for lying to her. I'm sorry for being disobedient and I'm going to try harder to make better choices." I hug her and tell her that those are all good things. I know that most likely she will lie again and more than likely she will be disobedient again but I will always be grateful for that powerful teaching moment of knowing how our Heavenly Father feels about the choices we make. How wonderful it is to know of our Heavenly Father and have the knowledge of his great plan of happiness. Today I am a grateful woman.

A post about meme

2008-07-29T21:35:00.000-07:00

This meme is courtesy a tag from K'lyn.

The Rules:
•Link the person(s) who tagged you.
•Mention the rules on your blog.
•Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
•Tag 6 fellow bloggers by linking them.
•Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged

1. I love college sports! Especially football, I'll go for basketball and hockey as well and I don't mind baseball as long as I'm at the ball park. I love hashing out old football games and speculating about what plays should have been called and debating referees calls. I do get just as animated watching games at home as well as at the stadium. The only problem is there isn't many other women who share my passion slight bummer at times.

2. For someone who loves sports as much as I do I'm a terrible athlete. It's not that I don't try. I just know I look like a fool playing sports and don't look like I really should be out there playing. But I play anyhow and have a fantastic time anyhow.

3. I love cooking! Many people will attest to that but I hate cleaning up after cooking. It just doesn't seem right that I cook all that great food for other people to enjoy and for me to have to clean it up, come on now..... Luckily Jer will kick in and help clean up after dinner.

4. I worry a little that people will under estimate me because of my age, status in life, educational background, and who knows what else I will come up with in my brain. I really shouldn't worry about it but it's just something that my brain won't let go.

5. I'm happy and will always be happy. It's not because my life is perfect but I chose to be happy.

6. I deep clean when I'm mad. So if Jer ever comes home and the house is sparkling, squeaky clean he knows he needs to be on egg shells. For some reason scrubbing hard helps to relieve the frustration.

Alright enough about me I tag: Amy, Amanda, Vanessa, Raegan, Kaylene, Kristen and everyone else because well you know.....

Random Lizzie Comment

2008-07-20T21:57:00.000-07:00

Lizzie and I were grocery shopping the other day and as I was contemplating whether to buy the red apples or the fuji apples Lizzie said to me: " Mom I guess your all done having babies huh." I love when statements come out of no where. I asked her why she thought that. She then responds, "Well, your not pregnant now and you used to always be pregnant." Yes, Lizzie I used to always be pregnant. That is exactly how I felt and may be one of the reasons why I am not pregnant now.

All in a day

2008-07-10T15:26:00.000-07:00

My husband has to chronicle every 6 minutes at his work. I may not have it down to 6 minutes but I thought I would post what my Tuesday was like for every 15 minutes.

My Day on Tuesday:
Wake up to crying 2 yr old at 6:00
6:15 get thrown up on
6:30 get 2 yr old water
6;35 get thrown up on
6:45 breastfeed
7:00 comfort crying 2 yr old/ put 4 yr old in front of t.v.
7:30 get 4 old cereal for breakfast
7:45 put sleeping 2 yr old back in bed
8:00 pilates
8:30 clean up thrown-up bedding
9:00 get 4 yr old ready for swim lessons
9:30 breastfeed
9:45 send 4 yr old with friend for swim lesson
10:00 put crying baby in bed
10:15 get dishes done
10:30 realize I need to eat
10:31 find milk frozen in the fridge
10:35 eat toast while milk thaws on table
10:45 pick up toys
11:00 crying 2 yr old needs hugs
11:15 4 yr old home from swimming lessons
11:30 lunch time
11:45 clean up bubbles spilled on kitchen floor
12:00 change blow-out from baby/change bedding that was blown out on.
12:30 supervise 4 yr old "doing dishes"
12:45 breastfeed
1:00 pick up toys/ find new movie for 2 yr old
1:30 remake 2 yr olds bed with clean bedding
1:45 kill threating spider in basement for 4 yr old
2:00 put baby down for nap
2:15 tuck 2 yr old in for a nap
2:30 go check vacationing neighbor's house and mail
2:35 get locked in neighbor's garage
2:40 realize I can get out
2:42 get out of garage
2:45 get own mail
2:50 sort mail and pay bill
3:00 check email/ blogs
3:15 comfort crying 2 yr old
3:30 make blanket fort for 4 yr old
3:50 reinforce blanket fort
4:00 Breastfeed
4:15 thaw meat for dinner
4:30 Find new movie for 2 yr old
4:45 Change baby diaper
5:00 Welcome Husband Home
5:15 Attempt to watch news
5:30 Give up watching news
5:45 Beg husband to grill meat
6:00 Finish making dinner
6:15 Dinner at table with kids
6:30 Eat Dinner
6:45 Clean up Dinner
7:00 Feed baby yucky baby food squash
7:20 give up feeding yucky squash
7:30 breastfeed
7:45 Relax with Husband
8:00 Change baby diaper
8:15 Start getting kids ready for bed
8:30 Kids in Bed
8:45 Put kids back in bed
9:00 Husband goes to basketball
9:15 Breastfeed
9:30 Put Baby to bed
9:45 Blog
10:30 Husband home with swollen hand
10:45 trying to comfort swollen hand husband without laughing
11:00 Read Scriptures, say prayers, fall asleep and know it will start all over again tomorrow.

I love my job. No seriously, I love it. I also know that days can be a lot worse. Abby just has Rotovirus so it's just a matter of time till is cycles through the whole family. Horray!

2008-07-09T13:31:00.000-07:00

You Are Belle!

Intelligent and kind. Your beauty goes much further than your apperance. Also, you make judgements of people based on their personality and not their looks. Attaining all the knowledge that you can is one of your major goals in life, but you are also a person who can make things happen.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

Takin' a pole ......My Sunday Review

2008-07-08T20:23:00.000-07:00

So I love writing about my Sundays so this post is nothing more than a Sunday in review. I guess it's because I'm trying to comment less on lessons. Sometimes I have a really hard time and I can feel the little girl in me want everybody to know that I know all the answers to the teachers questions. Thus, I have changed my policy on answering teachers questions: When a teacher asks a question or asks for comments I will only answer if I feel so prompted by the spirit. So now you all get to read the answers I would have said in church, or at least the thoughts that ran through my head.
But first off a question for all of you moms and class participants out there. So let's say you have an adorable baby boy who is in every essence joyful. And let's say during times in church when you should be let's say reverent that adorable joyful boy starts making joyful noises do you:

a) Take him out as quickly as possible without tripping on all of the people between you and the door.
b) Make the best of it and hope that he's not too distracting to all the people around him.
c) Pass him down the row and pretend he's not your irreverent child.

If anyone can help me answer this question I sure would appreciate it. I have my opinion and my husband has his so tell us who is right.

I'm kind of enjoying sitting back during Relief Society and I mean really sitting back, there's a rocking chair in the R.S. room and if I'm lucky enough I can nab it and rock little boy to sleep. I worry though it's making me a little too relaxed. This Sunday's lesson was taught by the R.S. Secretary who has been known to be deathly afraid of public speaking so I was super impressed that she took on the task of teaching. She started out really great talking about how work is a value that we all need in our lives. When we accomplish something we feel good about ourselves and so on. She also mentioned how as members of the church we can't completely rely on the ward to carry us through every little thing and sometimes we need to pull together as a family first before we ask the ward for help. I was really impressed with her boldness of words especially where I've been on both sides and seen how the whole thing runs. Then she said "Now I'm going to say something and I hope not to offend you." I could literally see everyone put there game faces on ready for battle. She then said that the same 5 families show up to clean the church when it's time to clean the church every time it's our turn. And then she went on to talk about how not very many women show up to Enrichment nights. I think I could have predicted the dialog that was to follow. Sister so-in-so complained that she didn't know about the church clean-up, sister blah-blah said she always forgets when enrichment is. Then sister helpful talked about in their old ward this was how the advertised much better.
Not to be rude but I had to hold in my chuckles with each comment. Just having gone through the whole ward camp out panic I understood the sister teaching the lessons point, having been one of the sisters who had just forgot the enrichment night I understood the sisters who needed help remembering when it was. But the part that really made me chuckle was we were acting just like Adam and Eve. Now I hope this isn't making too light of something but in Moses chapter 4 Satan tempts Adam and Eve and Eve partakes of the fruit. God comes and Adam and Eve hide in the garden. The best part is in vs 17-19 when God asks them what they did, Adam without missing a beat (to paraphrase) "Well that woman, you know the one you gave me, well she ate it and then told me to eat it." Then when Eve is asked she says, "That snake he tricked me and then I ate it." You see, they don't take the blame at first they start to blame others. Darn that whole natural man thing.
Anyhow at first that's how the women were acting. Then it turned into this guilt trip of "The church spends lots of money on things for you to be there. And when you're not there that's a lot of money, time and effort that has been wasted. So you need to be there for enrichment nights." And you could see all these sisters start to look like little kids who just got caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Now I have this theory on guilt. I am yet to find in the scriptures where Heavenly Father uses guilt to motivate his children to do something right. (If I'm wrong please tell me the reference so I can look it up and eat some crow.) When Heavenly Father chastens his people he's blunt about it but then it's always followed with an increase of love. He makes us want to do what's right not because we're scared of the consequence of not doing it but because it's the right thing to do. I know that guilt can work I am a product of guilt tripping parents. I could always know that after doing something my parents didn't want me to do that I should pack my bags because I was going on a guilt vacation. But now as a parent and a spouse I've tried to watch myself and remember that guilt doesn't build positive character. It may get the job done but I don't think it's the results that we really want. Those women started looking like cat's cornered in a garage. Some had their claws out. Others were hissing and some looked as if they had totally been beaten down. Now I know that wasn't what the sister giving the lesson had intended and I know her intentions were pure and good. I think that a lot of women could have reacted differently but for the most part they needed to remember why they came to church that Sunday. And the sister teaching the lesson brought it back to that she said that she loves the socializing with everyone, she enjoys the talks and singing the songs but the main reason she comes to church every week is because she knows that it's true. That God and Jesus Christ really did show themselves to Joseph Smith and it is through this church and the principles taught within that we can return to our Heavenly Father. And that is why she comes back week after week. So I'll leave it at that for tonight. I know that God lives. I know that he loves me and that is why he sent his son Jesus Christ to this earth. Christ lead the perfect life. And he died so that when I don't lead that perfect life through the atonement I may still return to my Heavenly Father. I love the gospel with all my heart and I'm so grateful for the knowledge and power that it gives to me. I know that President Monson truly is called of God and leads this church through the power of the spirit. I know that the Book of Mormon truly testifies of Jesus Christ and his role as our redeemer. My life has been blessed by following the precepts found in it's pages. The church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints truly is His church. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

Yes, I can be crafty..

2008-07-03T13:12:00.000-07:00

So I survived the whole ward camp out, thanks mostly to my husband and a guy with a camp chef and lots and lots of patience. We had two investigating families show up so I hope that they had a quality time and were able to meet our wonderful ward. It really was a good turn out so I guess my prayers were answered. I found out on Saturday that I had a baby shower for a friend on the next Tuesday and i knew that I wasn't really going to have any time to shop until Monday night so my brain started swimming what I could get her and the soon to be new bundle of joy. Just as I was contemplating what do I really appreciate as a mom of a fantastic bundle of joy, Will spit up and I mean spit up huge. I wiped myself off with a burp rag and then had an instant inspiration. I had seen a cute burp cloth once in a nursing lounge that was a simple cloth diaper with fantastic ribbon sewn on it. So I decided that I could do that too. I went to the store late Monday night and picked up a package of cloth diapers and some cute rick-rack and a few spools of adorable ribbon. Tuesday Morning I skipped out on my pilates and decided to get all crafty and what not. I zipped through 10 burp cloths like nothing else. The best part is they turned out so cute. Now I'm not a seamstress by any means in fact I can think of at least 16 people that sew a heck of a lot better than me right this very second. But I found something that works pretty good and used that nylon fish line looking thread so no one can see how crooked my stitches get. Anyhow I thought I would post a few pix of them. I really felt great after getting them done, good enough that Tuesday night when I usually blog I decided to finish off the rest of the burp cloths for a friend who had just had a baby girl and then I decided I wanted a couple for myself. There's just something about putting your mind to doing something and getting it done. Huzzah for the craftiness that I can fake out.

The sweet girly ones

The cute boy ones (don't you love that rick-rack?)

This one I was really proud of just for the fact that that ribbon was so thin and somehow I managed to sew it. K I know this might be something really lame to get so excited about but still looking at it I get so happy. If anyone else is having a baby anytime soon let me know and I'll whip a batch for you.

"You mean you don't like me?"

2008-06-25T11:02:00.000-07:00

So it's our ward camp out this weekend and I have all this nervous energy so I'm "blogging" it out. Is it totally stupid that I think that if we have a small turn out it is somehow a reflection on what people think of me? Wow, I'm more shallow than what I thought. As the new ward activity chair or whatever the heck my official title is I feel like I should be the "party girl" someone who every body wants to hang out with; so of course they'll come to my party. My last little activity had a really small turn out, we got everything done that we wanted to and the people who attended I think had a good time but that was just a little activity. Everyone talks up the ward camp out all the great times they've had at the ward camp out and somehow I don't think they're all too excited about this one. I'm usually really confident in my callings but I usually do behind the scenes stuff but this calling is really putting me out there on a limb. BLURG!!! I'm not to crazy about feeling like this. I guess all I can do is stick to my inspiration and hope that really it was inspiration and that whoever turns up has a quality time. I guess I'm in the business of quality not necessarily quantity whereas I have absolutely no control of the later of the two. Meh! If anybody else out there has a fantastic idea of how to make sure I get lots of people there, before Friday let me know. If not I guess I'll have a lot of terriyaki chicken and dutch oven potatoes to eat for awhile. Nice.

Ensign Advice

2008-06-24T20:51:00.000-07:00

So next months Q&A is marriage advice that you were given. And this made me think of a funny story that most likely wouldn't get published but it was funny to me. For those of you who don't know my story with Jeremy count yourself lucky. You probably think he fell head over heels for me instantaneously and dropped down on one knee the moment he laid eyes on me, just like all the other guys. But unfortunately for me that wasn't the story at all. I think he knew he liked me but Jeremy has come to understand that I don't appreciate those things that come way too easy for me so he in his pure genius decided that I had to work for him. I honestly believe he was the first guy I thought wasn't interested enough in me. Not to sound conceded or anything like that but when I dated a guy by the second date I usually knew I had the guy hook line and sinker and could then pull and tug on his heart strings as I desired. (Yes I'm a terrible person but don't worry pay back wasn't too much fun for me.)
When Jeremy and I realized that we were dating we had probably been "dating" for well over a month. I guess it was hard for me to realize thats what we were doing because I was actually dating 2 other guys around the same time and when I was tired of playing the whole dating game I would go hang out with Jeremy because dang he was cool. I felt so relaxed and like I didn't have to put on this whole "look at me I'm so cute" game. We would go do stupid things like midnight burger king runs (seriously I was addicted to the double cheeseburger). We would watch movies and just hang out it was just a chill environment. Anyhow like started turning into more stuff and every time I was on a date with another guy I was thinking about him and every time I heard about him going on a date with another girl I was like what the heck why hasn't he asked me out. Then one night after we had finished watching a movie and all the other guys had gone to bed and it was just me and Jeremy we kissed. I'll never forget leaving his place that night knowing I would never ever kiss another guy. (everyone can sigh now and let out that little ahhh sound.) Anyhow Jeremy wasn't as sure as I was through out the whole relationship hence him breaking up with me a month after the first kiss. But after 3 days he came back to his senses and came back Then there was another break-up and a come back. And then finally the 3rd time I thought he was breaking up with me he was actually saying lets think about getting married but for some reason that wasn't what I heard but he smoothed out that bridge really quick and let me know that he really did want to marry me. *Sigh* then he went to Cincinnati for the summer, Somehow through major long phone calls, and some emails and me really honestly having no desire to date anyone else ever again we made it.
I flew out to Cincinnati, Jeremy had convinced me that it would be best to wait to get engaged until after he came back to Logan, but I was so excited to see him anyhow. I at the time had no idea how tricky Jeremy was or how incredibly tricky his mom was and they had somehow got a ring out to Jeremy and he proposed to me there.
As we sat in this beautiful garden both glistening with new love. This crazy lady drove by in a golf cart. She offered us some water. We told her no knowing that we both were totally drinking each other in, when she asked if we had just got engaged. This lady totally had the crazy cat lady look to her and there was something in her smile that made me think she had several sweaters with cats embroidered on them waiting to greet her when she got home. When we replied in unison that yes we were engaged (we smiled sheepishly at each other) she said,"Do you mind if I give you some advice?" I thought for sure she was going to say something like: "Always make sure that your cat litter is fresh" or "Marriages will come and go but Cats last forever" but instead she looked at us and said " Any marriage will last as long as you have three people in it. You, your spouse and God." She then gave us a couple of lollipops and rode off into the sunset in her crazy little golf cart. We sat there in stunned silence. How true she has been. I know that as Jeremy and I work to increase our faith and our individual relationship with our Heavenly Father we draw closer as husband and wife. Anyhow that was the crazy lady with some seriously sane advice.
But what, o internet public, who secretly reads my secret blog, is the best marriage advice you have received or like to give?
My advice lately has been: In marriage it is not 50/50 it's 100/100 as each of us tries to serve each other in our relationships and give fully of oneself there really isn't anyone who is losing out.
Ya I should word that better but it's late and I'm tired. Anyhow maybe if you give me a comment with good advice I can type it up and send it into the Ensign and you can be published.. Well goodnight to all and to all a happy marriage.

A letter from Lizzie

2008-06-24T14:31:00.000-07:00

I've got more to write later tonight but for now enjoy this letter Lizzie wrote to my brother Tyler who is currently serving a mission in Monterry Mexico. I wrote the letter but I kid you not this is what she said verbatim.

Dear Uncle Tyler,

I love you. Be safe traveling home. I learned about being nice today in church with my friends. I had a little story today about shepherds being nice. Be good on your mission. We miss you. Eat new foods safely. Be good. We have a slip n slide this summer but it had a hole in it and now it's popped. I love my friends they come over to play with me and we play outside when it's hot and sunny. Jackson and Jace and almost all my friends came over to play in a green turtle swimming pool. It was lots and lots of fun.
Love Lizzie

This was Tyler's response to her:

that´s great lizzy keep having fun and learn lots.
i´m being safe and eating food safely and sometimes tooooo much.
bye love you

I love that Lizzie was concerned about him eating new foods! But thinking about it and where he is I thought it was wise council from a 4 year-old.
I'll write more tonight.

Random Thoughts-

2008-06-10T20:11:00.000-07:00

So these are a few thoughts that I need to write down so I can expound on them later.

1. I wish someone would invent a brain camera. You know, so you can look at something and say I want a picture of that and it takes it just as you see it. I only say this because I was slightly disappointed in the pix that we took at Zions there were so many things of beauty and my camera didn't really capture it all. Also there are so many times that I'm with my kids and I think I need to remember this I need to remember this and even if I have my camera they usually don't pose for the camera like I see them. I really can't wait for someone to invent this brain camera thingy so I can really start to show the world the way I see it, because to be honest there is so much beauty out there.

2. A couple of Sundays ago we were walking to church and Lizzie was tagging along with me as I pushed Abby in the stroller. Lizzie, if you haven't met her, is the queen of conversation and has really picked up on the word expert. She was explaining to me all the things that she was an expert at: a big sister, word person, friend etc. Then she was sweet enough to tell me I was an expert Mom. Then as we started to cross the street to the church she says," I'm an expert at church too!" long pause " But Jesus is the biggest church expert of all." I'm glad I've taught her something.

3. This was my idea in the shower today. I've been praying to have help to lose weight. And I was wondering if that was an evil thing to pray for. I mean lets be honest it sounds a little selfish and really maybe not on the top of things that should be important but hear me out on my reasons.
1- Jeremy's 10 reunion is this August and to be completely shallow I don't want to be his fat wife. I want people to talk to Jeremy and say "You have three kids? Wow! I would have never guessed that by looking at your wife. She is so smokin' hot! How did you do that Jeremy? You are so Lucky to have such an amazing woman." Now I understand that sounds amazingly shallow and probably unrealistic but that's one reason why I'm obsessed with losing weight.
2-Now here's the for real thing. I realize that our bodies are a gift from our Heavenly Father and we need to take care of them and i know I have a good excuse to be fat I mean my baby is just 5 months but I know that I feel best about myself when I'm eating right and exercising so even if I don't "lose" weight I at least get all the benefits of being healthy. So really I think that's why it's OK to have Heavenly Father help me be healthy and lose weight.
So as I contemplated this today the thought struck me that praying is a lot like dieting. (OK that still makes me laugh) but really if you think about it dieting or losing weight is a lot of work, I love the commercials that advertise take this pill and still eat whatever you want, don't exercise and magically the weight will go away. (Does anyone remember how phen phen worked out?) Honestly if you are serious about losing weight you'll watch what you eat, you'll exercise and you'll work until you get the results you are looking for and then it becomes a life style you can't just go back to your old ways. Well praying is the same way we learn in D&C thanks to Oliver Cowdry that you have to do your homework. You have to work as hard as you can and then Heavenly Father will come and help with the rest. Take the brother of Jared for example: His problem: Needing to light a boat. He prays. Heavenly Father says think about and come back to me with your answer. He finds some cool rocks, has some serious hardcore faith and boom he's got light. (sorry that's a really bad synopsis if you want the whole story look here) But it just goes to show you that prayer requires work, just like dieting you work and work and then you just have to have faith that your work is going to pay off somehow. I think about my Mom she's lost a lot of weight over the past 4 years but she still isn't to wear she would like to be but her heart is incredible healthy, and her overall health has improved significantly and more importantly she's able to play with her grandkids which is one of the most important things to her. So the results are a little bit different than what she wants but she keeps working at it and she sees the blessings as they come around. Anyhow thats my thoughts for right now I think I'll make this one a big post later on I just needed to write it down for now. Let me know what you think...Seriously guys I love getting comments on my crazy thoughts it. I like to at least know that someone gets me.

Something that made me think

2008-06-03T21:24:00.000-07:00

In Relief Society on Sunday our president gave the lesson and she quoted for the majority this talk. I was not familiar with it but some of it really hit my heart hard. I guess it's ok considering that I was only 12 when this talk was given, but the words seem to really apply to me now. Here is the excerpt that really made me think. You can find the talk in it's entirety here

“Charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever.” (Moro. 7:46–47.)

"Charity is, perhaps, in many ways a misunderstood word. We often equate charity with visiting the sick, taking in casseroles to those in need, or sharing our excess with those who are less fortunate. But really, true charity is much, much more.

Real charity is not something you give away; it is something that you acquire and make a part of yourself. And when the virtue of charity becomes implanted in your heart, you are never the same again. It makes the thought of being a basher repulsive.

Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.

None of us need one more person bashing or pointing out where we have failed or fallen short. Most of us are already well aware of the areas in which we are weak. What each of us does need is family, friends, employers, and brothers and sisters who support us, who have the patience to teach us, who believe in us, and who believe we’re trying to do the best we can, in spite of our weaknesses. What ever happened to giving each other the benefit of the doubt? What ever happened to hoping that another person would succeed or achieve? What ever happened to rooting for each other?

It should come as no surprise that one of the adversary’s tactics in the latter days is stirring up hatred among the children of men. He loves to see us criticize each other, make fun or take advantage of our neighbor’s known flaws, and generally pick on each other. The Book of Mormon is clear from where all anger, malice, greed, and hate come."

In my journalism classes I learned that if someone can say it better than you to let them say it so I don't think I need to add anything else other than I hope that I can be a better person and really understand charity and begin to gain more of it in my life.

Terrible and Delicious

2008-06-03T13:09:00.000-07:00

So I was in the mood for Girl Scout Cookies on Sunday and what is a LDS Women to do. So I surfed this thing called the internet and found this recipe for Girl Scout Cookies.
Ya incredibly good but a little more time consuming then what I usually would do but still. Jeremy is a mint cookie expert and said they were "No Nabisco" but good enough that he ate nearly a dozen on his own. So just so you know if you don't want to pay the 3.50 a box you can make your own for about 2.00 and have as many as you like.
p.s. I'm blogging right now so I don't eat any more!

You tell her

2008-05-22T11:07:00.001-07:00

Lizzie asked me yesterday what this spelled:
I think you should tell her....

Whatsoever is light is good

2008-05-20T20:48:00.000-07:00

I just but my son to bed and tonight as I rocked him and sang him a song a lot of thoughts ran through my mind. A year ago Jeremy and I announced to his family that we were expecting Will I was 11 weeks pregnant and a little overwhelmed at the thought of having 3 children. Deciding to become pregnant with Will was not an easy decision by any means. The previous January I had started to feel funny. My fingers and ears and toes were all tingly and something just seemed off in my body. I was still nursing Abby who at the time was just 8 months and I wondered if the tingly sensation had something to do with my milk or something. Then my period didn't come I to be honest didn't freak out my body hasn't always been the most regular but I must say I was a little nervous. Lizzie and Abby were both planned pregnancies so a little surprise like this was not exactly on my game plan. When I took a pregnancy test to ease my own thoughts I was shocked when it came back positive. How could this be? I didn't want to be pregnant. I wasn't prepared for it. I was still nursing Abby and was determined to nurse her to the year mark. I was really upset I had worked so hard to get my body back in shape only to be put out of shape again. Abby was going to be 15 months old when this baby came and that in my opinion was just too close. I hadn't prayed about getting pregnant it wasn't even on my radar. How could this be? I didn't want to tell anyone that I was pregnant. I think I was even kind of embarrassed by the fact that I was pregnant. I didn't feel the normal happy glow that I had had with my previous two pregnancies. So I just carried on, loathing the fact that my newly slimmed tummy was going to begin to bulge, that Abby was going to get cheated out of having the infant life I felt she deserved, that I hadn't been warned by some spiritual prompting that this was coming and maybe I was losing that sensitivity of the spirit that I tried so desperately to maintain. At about 9 weeks I started spotting a little which wasn't a big deal I spotted a little with Abby but by week 10 I was full on period like bleeding. I called the Dr. and began to worry what was wrong with me. When I got in to the Dr. I was so nervous they took me back for an ultrasound and sure enough it was a miscarriage. I think the saddest thing I've ever seen was looking at the little bean that could have been a baby with no beating heart. My eyes began to swell with tears and the Dr. choked back his own and told me the things that I were to expect in the next few weeks and told me if there was anything else he could do to please let him know. I cried the whole way home. I called Jeremy at work and cried some more. I called my mom and cried some more. All the while feeling so conflicted. Had I wished this on myself? Was my body broken now? What happens if I decide I want to get pregnant again? I think I cried that entire day and into the night. I amazingly felt all by myself so incredibly empty and alone even though I had support from my mom, we had decided not to let all of our family know, a few members of my ward knew and helped out but I still felt like I was the only person on the entire planet and I was so so sad. I bled and bled for what seemed like forever and then the day that the egg sac passed my heart broke into a million shattered pieces. It was at that moment a dream was brought back to my memory. Right after Lizzie was born I had had a dream that I was pregnant and I didn't tell anyone and gave birth to the child very early in my apartment bathroom. I had shut the door to the bathroom and then decided to tell Jeremy. We both went back to the bathroom and planned the funeral for that baby and decided not to tell anyone about it. Now I know that most of the time our dreams are poppy cock but as I reflected on that dream the feeling impressed to me was that Heavenly Father had prepared my heart at that moment almost 3 years before for what I was going through right at that moment. All the sudden I didn't feel so all alone. My heart still ached but I was supported. It was a hard thing to get over. Something I hadn't really planned on, every time a friend told me they were pregnant my heart stung a little. Every time I thought about early September my mind would begin the what ifs. But as I prayed for the healing power of the atonement to become more manifested in me my soul began to heal. Then the unexpected happen. Mid-March, not even four weeks after the miscarriage, I was sitting in a sacrament meeting when I had the feeling that we needed to bring another spirit to this world. How that opened the flood gates all the emotions that I had just put to rest came pouring back. Added to those emotions was the worry could my body really do this? We fasted and prayed about and knew that it was the right thing to do and just held our breath while we had faith that this was the thing to do. Sure enough early May I took yet again another pregnancy test and this time to the joy of my heart had a positive test result. I worried for quite a bit of the first trimester especially where as I wasn't puking my guts out but just had to hold on to the faith that this was the right thing for my family. Thank goodness all things turned out well and we now have our healthy, beautifully happy baby boy. In the Book Of Mormon in Alma 32 Alma is teaching the poor Zoramites who have been cast out of their synagogues because of their stations in life. He talks about humility and those who posses humility and those who are compelled to be humble. I think for me my miscarriage was one of those being compelled moments and I am truly grateful for that because of my miscarriage I have gained so many things. I know have more compassion to those who struggle with pregnancy something I truly didn't understand until it happened to me. I also had my faith strengthened. Just as Alma taught I had to experiment on the word and let it swell and grow within me and it brought to me enlightenment and understanding that I would not have otherwise possessed. I think that often with our trials and hardships if we look closely we can see the things that our Father in Heaven is trying to help us with. I really am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who wants us to learn and become our best selves. I'm also grateful for the knowledge of the atonement and the strength it gives me. The gospel is so true!

Pictures of Us

2008-05-20T13:11:00.000-07:00

I love pictures. I love pictures of my kids. I love pictures of flowers, nature, even food. And since this is my own private blog I guess I can admit I even like pictures well most of them anyhow. When Jeremy and I were dating we took lots of pictures of the two of us and in fact our engagement pictures still adorn the walls of my home because I loved the pictures so much and I'm too lazy to change them out. But I was thinking the other day that Jeremy and I are rarely in a picture together, just the two of us. How sad it'll be when I look over our lifetime of pictures and finally see the pix of me and Jeremy and we go from being two hot young 20 year olds to slightly balder/older 50 somethings (although i'll remind the audience that we'll still be hot). So it's now my goal to take more pictures of the two of us. And try to better capture us on film I mean digital pixels. So here's my latest attempt in Logan from a weekend ago.

Yep he's really that hot all the time. How hot is that you may ask. Sizzling.....

A better attempt to smile but the kid sure makes him look even cuter.

I'm telling my hair to grow grow grow in this picture.

One final attempt for the two of us I'm over compensating my smile for the lack of Jeremy's smile.

Mother's Day Flowers

2008-05-15T13:18:00.000-07:00

I love getting flowers. Really I can look over my life and highlight moments by flowers that I received or at least gloried in the presence of. Jeremy really isn't a fan of buying something that is just going to die but still when me makes the effort to subdue that thought just for me it means that much more. My last mother's day in Logan I was 9 months pregnant, we were trying to get ready to move to Tooele and I was to say the least stressed. The Saturday before Mother's Day I had done a Pampered Chef show (my last thank heavens) and came home to Jeremy and Lizzie who had recently returned from the store. Lizzie had jumped the gun and before I could even get in the door said "Mom we bought you a flower and some fish. Can I have some fish now." meaning the Swedish fish that we so love in our household. Well Jeremy had got me a single red rose which was beautiful so I put the flower in a nice little vase and shared the fish with my eager little two year old. The next morning as we were getting ready for church I came downstairs to find that my rose had exploded over night. Every single petal had fallen off of it and I just laughed. Jeremy swore he would never buy me a rose again and the next mother's day he stayed true to that word. So imagine my surprise when this past mother's day Jeremy placed this beautiful rose on my lap. It made my day not to mention the card that made me cry. I've turned into such a sap. Anyhow the rose lives on and has retained a beautiful bloom this whole week. So thanks Jeremy to swallowing your pride and buying me something that will eventually die.
ps that really is the picture of the flower. It looks so beautiful!

Thinking Positive

2008-05-14T14:55:00.000-07:00

When Jeremy was sick he lost like 10 lbs in under a week. I remember whining to him that I wish that would happen to me then I might have an easier time with all of this baby weight my body refuses to get rid of. I guess the saying be careful what you wish for really really comes into effect when you wish something like that. I lost 7 lbs in 4 days, courtesy of giant high fevers, not eating but refusing to give my poor baby a bottle. I haven't really put on jeans for like 3 weeks but I had to go get a cavity filled yesterday (I know it's like insult to injury) and my usual pants were dirty so I pulled out the old Andrea's skinny pants. Not to brag (what am I saying I'm totally bragging), they rocked my world and fit like a glove. And I looked good! I was super super excited it almost made three miserable weeks of pneumonia worth it. When I went to the dentist I felt so good I almost passed up the Novocaine, O.k. just kidding anyone who would do that would be nuts, but I felt good. Now if I can convince my body that even though I'm not working out and just sitting around doing nothing that it does not need to hold on to the food I'm eating now. But I guess I just revel in the glory of skinny jeans fitting now and deal with it when they don't fit.

Think Tank

2008-05-07T14:03:00.000-07:00

So today I somehow found energy enough to shower (side note: I've been sick with pneumonia and it's really kicking my can so hygiene hasn't taken the role that it should, gross I know, deal with it) I love taking showers I've decided there is something so therapeutic about a shower maybe it's all the amazing smelling shower gels and shampoos or maybe it's the sound of water hitting the tiles or maybe it's the fact that when I shower I'm actually all by myself. Alone. It's a weird concept when you have 3 little kids and one of those kids is nursing. Maybe that's why the shower has become my own little think tank. There's just something about getting clean and getting rid of all the stink that seems to come into my life (both physical stink and emotional stink) Some of my best ideas and most powerful inspiration have come to me when I'm in the shower. I now keep a kids bathtub crayon in my shower to write down the ideas that seem to sink into my brain with each drop of water. If our budget could handle it and I wouldn't freak out about looking like a really really white raisin I would probably stay in the shower for hours and hours. My shower wall would probably look like that guy in A Beautiful Mind's shack walls. Ya he was crazy. The hard part is making all of those brilliant ideas come to fruition. Usually I end up erasing all my thoughts as I clean off all my hair from the shower unless it was an idea I had for Jeremy then I usually leave that one up for him to read on his next shower. He has since told me that he usually showers with his eyes closed to get that extra bit of sleep and never notices my "brilliant" ideas. But maybe now that I've told everyone about my think tank I'll actually start taking action on those ideas. I think I'm going to go take another shower and think about how to start doing that.

Happiness

2008-05-06T14:26:00.000-07:00

So when I was younger people would always ask why I was so happy. As an elementary student I had no idea that people could actually be permanently unhappy. I understood that when you lost your toy or when your brother was a giant stupid head you could be a little unhappy but I never really thought much more of it. When I got to high school I had a conversation that made me realize that people really liked being unhappy not only unhappy but that it was a sign of maturity to be "less happy". I sat in my usual spot in French class 2nd row from the door 3 seats from the back. Sitting across from me next to the wall where Erin a Jr. and Shannon a Sr. both sang in the choir with me and because they were so much older than me ( I was a sophomore) they were amazingly cool. Coach Dean (our French teacher was the track coach and insisted we called him coach regardless if we ran track or not.) had stepped out to inspect the new track going in and trusted that we would all read our text books while he was gone. I had read the assignment for like the 5th time when I gave in to the rest of the class and started talking with Erin and Shannon I had made some sort of remark and smiled and I'll never forget the way Erin looked at me. Then she said "Andrea, when you get older I bet you'll be a lot less happy." This kind of took me back why on earth would anyone want to be "less happy"? And what did having to be older have to do with it. I asked Erin what she meant and she then explained to me "When you're mature things don't seem the way you see them now." I was so super confused I thought I was pretty "mature" and I was pretty darn sure that being mature was not the death of happiness. Shannon finally chipped in I swear I vied for every word out of her mouth I mean after all she was a Senior, she had a boyfriend and she was on her way to college she had to know everything. "I don't think Andrea is one of those people who will change."
"Really?" was Erin's response.
"Why wouldn't she? Everyone has to grow-up sometime."
Then Shannon said "I think Andrea is just one of those people who will always be happy even when she shouldn't be."
Soon enough coach Dean came back and it was back to the difference between "vous" and "tu". I was really confused by my friends comments. Really as a sign of maturity did I have to give up happiness? I thought back to people who I knew where mature like my mom, teachers people who were at least older than me they didn't seem unhappy yet they were "grown-up".
I continued on my way and as I got older I somehow stayed happy. I guess it was some sort of curse. Ok not really I love being happy. Many people along the way have accused me of being fake, people who I thought were close good friends and other such relatives and you know that kind of stung yet here I am still a happy person. I guess I understand why people could confuse being happy as fake. I mean after all everyone is bound to have a bad day and I have actually experienced these so called bad days from time to time. Or maybe more frequent then that. I think where people get confused on "fake happy" people is they don't understand really what happiness is. My little brother used to pray that we would have a fun day and I remember my mom asking him why he prayed to have fun. He said we needed to have fun so we could be happy. There I think is where a lot of people believe happiness is and if people think that is where my happiness is well then they're right I would be as fake as wood paneling in an old station wagon. I believe that my happiness comes from somewhere else. My happiness doesn't come from a clean house, lots of money, amazing vacations or people pouring out compliments on me if that were the case I would be the saddest person ever. Even if I had those things that isn't real happiness. Take all that stuff away and what are you left with? The happiness that I had as a little girl, as a high school student, as a single young adult and even now as a border line crazy mom of 3 has always been the same. I know who I am. I know where I came from. I know where I'm going. And I have an amazing lifeline. Sure the specifics aren't always set in stone I probably have changed a little as a person I'm growing that's what I'm supposed to be doing. I know where I came from I can't recall it perfectly but I have a good idea. My destination in this life was determined long ago the way I get there hasn't always been as straight forward as I wanted to be and sometimes it's a little scary but that's where my lifeline has really come in to play. Whenever I feel like I'm wavering just a tad He's there to pull me back in to remind me of these simple truths to help me remember I'm more than what I've been and I can be more if I keep trying. Why do people insist on roadblocking happiness. Happiness isn't something that we have one day and don't have the next. Happiness is in each and everyone of us. Sure sometimes it's easier to be happier than other times but that happiness never goes away. I believe it is there in our hearts it lives in our souls along with the knowledge that we are children of our Heavenly Father. He loves us and will always, always love us regardless of the choices we make. Our father gave us a plan, a plan of happiness, to return to him and to be able to live "happily ever after". I hope that people can remember that. This one thing helps me be who I am today. This simple truth helps me push through those bad days, those bad mistakes, those things that would block me from being my best. So maybe I'm a little less grown-up because I am still a happy person. Shannon was right I'm not going to change on that. Why would I want to?