A conversation that I didn't get to converse in.

Last weekend I was lucky enough to attend Women's conference with my Mom and one of her sisters. Turned out another sister wouldn't be able to attend, and since my entire life my mom always called me by this sister's name, I was a perfect fit. I left my house early Friday morning and arrived at BYU at bright and early 7:30 a.m. I was blown away by all the women there and honestly it took my nose a second to adjust to all the different forms of purfume roaming through the air.
I was soon able to meet with my Mom and her sister and prepared ourselves to be uplifted and edified. We listened to some great speakers and my heart really was lightened and I felt an immeadete rejoicing with all the sisters meeting there.
I listened to my Mom and her sister talk as we went from place to place and learned a lot about their relationship and witnessed first hand the give and take of sisterhood.
Our closing speaker was Elder L. Tom Perry and did he ever give us a message. He talked a lot about Missionary work and how WE all have influence of how the church is viewed. He gave us some starting points on how we can better the image of the church by just being ourselves and not being afraid to be who we are. I was so inspired and commited to my part even better.
It truly was awe inspiring to see 20,000+ women gathered together wanting to help better their homes, their communities and even more the world. As we sang the closing song "The Lord Is my Light" the music soared through my body and slowly every woman was on their feet singing this glorious song uniting in spirit and word.
After the prayer we made a mad dash to the BYU bookstore to pick up a few momento's and decided to grab some dinner before we all went our seperate ways. My mom's other sister called and was able to meet us for dinner and wanted a blow by blow report of each class we attended. When we began to discuss Elder Perry's talk I was soon edged out of the conversation. The aunt whom I had spent the entire day with then said that Missionary work would be able to spread more easily if people would leave Utah and get out in the real world. She then began to assail on all "Utah Mormons ". As she began to talk more and more I felt as if she were saying if You belong to the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and live in Utah you are not really serving the church. Afterall she had sacraficed her children's relationships with her family so that they could live in Washington. My mom and her sisters continued to argue the point my Mom being the only Utah Mormon of the three and somehow I was unable to get a word in. It was probably for the better BUT I want to be able to write down my responses to her accusations if anything just so I don't blow them out at her next time I see her.
When Jeremy was finishing school he applied for every single job ever offered to an electrical engineer. He was blessed enough to have 6 job offers some of which were out of the state of Utah. I was so excited at the possibilites each of those offers brought to our life. As we narrowed down our decision it came down to 2 offers one was in Salt Lake City working for a large engineering firm which he had tried to get an internship with earlier in his collegic carreer, this company had a great reputation for taking care of it's employees and the work they did really interested Jeremy. The 2nd was working for a naval weapons testing area in California they paid for both me and Jeremy to go out and tour the facility and explore the area. The area was amazing the people were so friendly and I honestly could picture us raising a family there. I was excited to have the missionary experince and realized that it would be hard to be away from our families but knew that if that's where the Lord needed us to be that we would be blessed for it. We came back home and began to weigh out the pro's and con's and really started praying and fasting to figure out the Lord's will for us. We had blessings from our bishop and went to the temple several times. Finally in a moment of clarity and with a peace that only the spirit can bring we knew what was the right decision for our family. We accepted the job in Salt Lake City and began house hunting in the surrounding areas until we felt that same peace about our current home in Tooele. In a way I was so disappointed that we weren't leaving Utah and that my children would not be able to have those experinces that I so desired as a child.
Three years have come and gone since all of those decisions and I've had some time to see maybe some of the reasons why The Lord needed us here. Most of my neighbors are active members of our ward and the few who aren't active we've been able to become friends with. I've been able to have a small role and have seen a few people become converted in our time here but I wouldn't say that I've had any fantastic missionary experinces. If I am able to see anything of our short stay here it is being able to bloom where I'm planted. It's been my desire to help stregthen those around me and really bring the love of Christ more fully into the lives of those who I meet, whether they belong to the church of Jesus Christ or not. We can do a lot by stregthening our own members in our own ward and hope that maybe as I do that that somehow it blesses the lives of others. So dear Aunt, Please don't criticize me for being just another Utah Mormon. Know that we are where the Lord needs us to be. Jeremy and I commited a long time ago to go where He wants us to go, and Be what he wants us to be. I'm quite sure that there are many others living here in Utah that fall in the same catagory as us. We're not trying to hide our light and really are trying to be the best versions of ourselves.
I know for me as a high school teenager I still faced having to stand up for what was right even though my friends were all members of the church and had been taught the same standards that I had. That was really hard for me to have to remove myself from my friends because I knew that the choices they were making were wrong despite all of us being taught the same thing from the time we were young. Challenges will be presented to us regardless of where we live and who we're friends with. Having a relationship with your family still takes effort even if you live in the same state. I really think that what it comes down to is being able to further your testimony, striving to live up to your potential regardless of where you live. The question is Are you? I hope so. During this small moment of our mortal existence we are trying to align our Will with our Father's by using our own free agency. It's a process but I feel like we're doing our best. I know that as long as I'm living up to the covenants that I've made we will always be striving for that.
I'm grateful for the spirit and it's help in leading us to the right choices for our family and testify that as long as we earnestly seek it with a humble heart and open mind we can find the joy and happiness that is our for the taking. So I challenge you all (all 5 of you who read this blog) to stop and reflect, Are you where the Lord wants you? Are you being what the Lord wants you to be? Are you willing to do what he would have you do? If you are wonderful! Keep it up! Don't let go of that feeling and always strive to have it with you. If you feel like something is amiss, Pray, Ponder find out what it is that the Lord would have you do. I promise you that once you become inline with what his will is you will experince a joy that can only come from staying true to those things.