I'm supposed to write this

It was the end of the year of my first year at USU. I had just recently been called to serve as the Vice President of Service for the Latter Day Saints Single Association (L.D.S.S.A.) and I was in a pretty sad place. I had made some choices that were bringing me some serious grief and someone else had made a choice that caused me some tremendous heartache. I was one of those stupid girls that had a missionary and had somehow miraculously survived the entire two years he was gone without accepting any marriage proposals. When he got home he decided I wasn't that cool or something (seriously don't cry for me people I'm over it by a long long way but I'm just setting the story here) anyhow he broke up with me and seriously shattered my heart in a million bazillion pieces. After he broke up with me in January I always figured he'd come back to me because, honestly, it was me..how on earth can anyone do better than me? Well he had just emailed me that day that he was engaged.. yes just a short 3 months after dumping me. I was seriously distraught. I wasn't getting along the best with my roommates which I'm pretty sure was my fault for being a selfish immature brat because those girls are all seriously wonderful girls. As I was walking back to my house after feeling completely deflated after taking a seriously crappy final that I was pretty sure I had flunked (stupid Statistics is there really a point to that class) I was dreading the loneliness and utter dismal prospects of my life. I felt friendless despite knowing a whole bunch of people and honestly being in one of the happiest places on earth. As I walked down old main hill I found myself pleading with my Heavenly Father...I needed someone or something to help rally my heart back to it's usual happy state. I was miserable and every second I spent by myself the more I hated myself. I knew that Heavenly Father loved me and that he would somehow be able to snap me out of this self loathing state. As I opened the door to my own personal pit of despair the telephone rang and I answered it. The following conversation took place:
"Hello, is Andrea there?"
"This is she." I was pretty sure it was some sort of telemarketer out to tell me that I was a terrible person and giving up on everything would be the best solution for the entire world."
"Hey Andrea, it's Haylie from LDSSA. I was thinking we haven't really gotten to know each other and I'd really like to get you know you better. Do you have time to hang out with me tonight."
Part of me really wanted to let her know that she was wasting her time trying to get to know me because really she would have had a better time stroking piranhas then wasting her time getting to know me. But some how I choked out a "Sure." and then she said
"Great, I'll be by to get you in 30 minutes."
I think I kind of stared at the phone for a long time. None of my roommates were home. They seemed to know when I would be home and avoided me like someone carrying the plague. Which really I was carrying a serious plague of the majorly downs. Soon enough Haylie showed up in her car and I followed her back to her car in a zombie like trance. I don't really remember our conversation but before I knew it we were walking toward a group of people who were laughing and for some strange reason having a good time. I looked at what all these people were doing and they were painting wooden toys. I thought it was really weird that these college students were having such a good time painting, cars, trains and trucks and why the heck would you want to play with them. Haylie then explained to me that it was A week and this was the service project. There was a man who would carve all of these toys and then send them off to other places in the world for kids who didn't have anything to play with. As I saw boxes and boxes and boxes of all these wooden toys my heart was touched by this faceless man who took so much time to lovingly carve each of these toys. Our job was to paint them to give them just a bit more flair and color. I picked up a brush and did my best to paint a truck a happy color of blue. Haylie and I didn't really chat much, no one asked me why I was sad. I didn't have the chance to go off on my roommates and how mean they were being to me (really they weren't but at the time it seemed like it) I didn't get to tell my sob story how my missionary dumped me and found love so quickly after leaving me. None of that really seemed to matter. It was as if each brush stroke put things more into persepective. These were all just experinces I was called to go through. I was going to make it. I had a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I had a loving family despite them being miles and miles away. Friends would come and go and it really was all my decision on how other's actions affected me. By the time my happy blue truck was painted my heart was light. I grabbed another car and started to paint it a happy red color. I started chatting away with others around me and couldn't help how my heart felt happy and light. By the time we had finished all the boxes of wooden toys everyone was laughing and smiles were on everyones faces. As Haylie and I got back in her car and headed back to my place I realzied we didn't talk much yet I felt like I knew her so well. As we pulled into my driveway Haylie said,
"I almost didn't call you Andrea. I had just finished saying my prayers and felt so strongly that I should call you. I was worried what you would think about me, worried what we would say to each other. But I knew I had to call you."
My eyes filled with tears. I tried to choke back all the emotions I was feeling. I knew why Haylie had that impression. I was so grateful for her and her willingness to follow the spirit. I knew that Haylie would forever be one of those great friends and for the first time since I had received my calling to serve as the VP over Service in LDSSA I felt up to serving in that capacity and so grateful that so many other great people had been called to serve with me. Instead of telling Haylie all these thoughts crowding my mind all I could say to Haylie was
"Thanks for Calling me." Haylie and I went on to be wonderful friends and I will forever be grateful for her constant out reach to me whenever I felt down.
I've learned so much from Haylie's great example and I hope that those of you reading this might have picked up on it as well.
1. Never ever doubt those promptings of the spirit. Sometimes we worry we may feel silly calling someone who just crosses our mind or knocking on someones door to just give them a hug. We may worry of rejection or maybe there's nothing wrong with the person at all. I'm sure I seemed happy enough to everyone on the outside. Honestly I can fake happiness really really easily and there were only two people in the entire universe who really knew what was going on the inside of me...Me and Heavenly Father. So don't doubt when the spirit whispers to your heart that someone needs something. Just DO IT!
2. When we are down sometimes we just want to vent and let others hear how terrible we have it. Somehow hoping to vindicate our own emotions and gather some pity. Haylie took me to do some service. As I served those less fortunate than me my burdens weren't taken away but I was lightened. With an overwhelming feeling that I was capable of doing what I was called to do. I don't know sometimes you need to vent but today I have this overwhelming feeling that if we get off our pity boxes and try to serve someone else we will be filled with that light of Christ that comes with any act of charity. That light will help us to see things more clearly and being able to gain the perspective that we all need.

I miss seeing Haylie on a daily basis and Haylie if you ever happen to read this you'll never know how indebted I am to you and your amazing testimony. I know that Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers. He will never ever call us through a trial that we cannot handle and as long as our hearts and minds are open he will bless us with the perspective we need. I know that as we serve others we will be filled with the light of Christ and we will see miracles in our lives and the lives of others.