1. My first real memory is when I was 2 and 3/4's we were living in Spanish Fork and we were moving to Orangeville. I remember very clearly standing on our front lawn of our apartment home watching my cousin Eric help load up the BIG moving truck. I remember hugging my Great Grandma and Grandpa Warner and getting into the car turning around to see Grandma and Grandpa wave goodbye to us. I don't remember the car ride through spanish fork canyon most likely because I fell asleep, to be quite honest I still fall asleep whenever I'm not driving and we go through that canyon, it just makes me sleepy thinking about it. I remember pulling up to the house and getting out of the car the first place we went to was the backyard where there was a giant apricot tree. Michael and I played in the sandbox for a little while and ran around the giant backyard. We walked up the back steps and into the kitchen I remember the orange blinds and then walking into the living room where the brown blinds were shut and the sun was shining through them casting sunbeams into the room. They had just unpacked my brown rocking chair and I remember sitting down in the rocking chair being extremely excited about what was to happen next. Brett was born shortly after but I really don't remember much of his birth or meeting him for the first time.
2. Year three I remember meeting Cammie Scow she lived two houses down from me and I remember walking down the sidewalk meeting her half way between my house and hers. I asked her if she wanted to play and that was the beginning of my childhood. Later that year my little brother Garret was born just two weeks before my 4th birthday. I remember seeing Grandma Swenson who since the move I didn't get to see that often. I remember Grandma lifting me up to look at Garret who was in with a bunch of other little kids and Grandma pointing to some baby asking me if I could see him. I lied and said that I could but if I remember right Grandma could barley pick me up high enough to get my nose over the lip of the window.
3. Year 4 I remember Garret as a baby and playing with him and Brett. Brett was funny and always did things just to make people laugh. I remember laughing with Brett a lot. I remember being in Love with Garret's blue eyes and black hair. I always thought he was sooo handsome and I honestly remember thinking I wanted the man I married to have black hair and blue eyes (umm no that did not happen). I remember our church house and going to Sunbeams and being afraid I was going to get lost. I remember one Sunday afternoon sitting in the living room Mom and Dad were reading the paper and Michael and I were looking at the comics, well Michael was reading them I was looking at them I think that I laughed after he laughed and he asked if I was reading them. I said Yes and then Michael told me I wasn't I didn't know how to read and I shouldn't be laughing at them. That one little provocation made me determined to read. I asked my Mom if she would teach me and she said she had some books. I started working on those books and within a few short months I was reading. I felt quite accomplished for a 4 year old. Later that summer I remember a camping trip with my Great Grandma and Grandpa Warner. As a kid I didn't realize how different it was to have Great Grandparents involved in your life but I loved them dearly and miss them a whole bunch. The camping trip if I remember was at Ferron Reservoir and I remember screaming bloody murder because a gopher had ran in front of me as we were heading back to camp after a long day of fishing at the lake. I remember the look on my Dad's face as he came sprinting up to me positive that I had just been mauled by a mountain lion. After I told my Dad what I saw, he laughed and picked me up and put me on his shoulders. I was madly in love with my Dad and loved it when it was just the two of us.
4. Year 5 Was hard because I had missed the kindergarten cut off date Mom was crazy busy with Brett and Garret. I remember a lot of sesame street and Mr. Rogers and I can't remember the name of it but had something to do with mannequins coming to life and puppets inside some department store. I remember Cammie and I playing a lot but there was also B.J. and Richard. We played a lot and I remember one particular time it was just me, B.J. and Richard. BJ told Richard that he shouldn't play with me because I was a girl and that was the first time in my life I realized that there were real differences between girls and boys. I mean here I was with 3 boys everyday of my life and they never treated me different because I was a girl and all the sudden this boy points out that there's a difference between us and thus we can't play together. I was really upset about it for a little while but don't worry BJ and Richard got over it pretty soon because we played for a long time after that. Finally after a long long summer I was able to start Kindergarten. I was in Mrs. Jeffs class and she had curly hair and dark glasses. I remember being shy and not knowing anybody really in my class. I didn't talk to many people and really hoped that I would be smart enough. I can still smell the paste and feel the cold hard chairs.
5. Year 6 I was still in kindergarten. I remember one day we were talking about the letter G and Mrs. Jeffs asked us what words started with the people said the usual: grapes, green, grass, glitter...I raised my hand and said Giant. I'm not sure why the look of surprise was so evident on Mrs. Jeffs' face it very well could have been that was the first time I had actually said anything in class or maybe that was her first realization that I could read but still I was confused at her look of surprise. The class then began to argue with me that Giant could not start with G because it made the jjjj J sound. I remember very clearly thinking that they were not that smart if they only knew that G made a hard ga ga ga sound and then explained because G was followed by an I it made the soft jjjj sound thus the word Giant began with G. Silly kindergartners. Mrs. Jeffs backed me up and after that I realized that maybe I was a little more advance than this Kindergarten class and I should speak up more to help them learn faster. Towards the end of my 6th year my dad accepted a job in rosaevelt right before I started first grade. My parents decided that my Dad would move there and Mom would wait in Orangeville till the house sold. I remember being really sad every time Dad would leave and my Mom being really sad too. We would visit Dad in Rosevelt and get ice cream at the store he was working at. When I started first grade our house was still for sale and Dad was still in limbo between Orangeville and Rosevelt.
6.Year 7 I remember learning how to read silently and loving first grade with Mrs. Guthrie. When Christmas came around I remember writing a letter to santa distraught because I wasn't sure if we would even be in Orangeville and he may not know where to find me. Luckily his elf snowdrop wrote me back and told me not to worry that Santa always knew where his good little girls and boys lived. And true enough Santa found us that Christmas. I'm not sure when Dad quit working in rosevelt but I'm pretty sure it was before Tyler was born. I was really excited for this new baby to come and was pretty sure it was my turn to have a baby sister. I had spent the last 3 years birthday wishes on having a little sister and for sure those had to work in my favor. Tyler was due in May and the last week of April was the 1st grad talent show. Mom and I had worked on me memorizing a book "There's a monster in the bath tub". We had worked on actions and making sure I spoke clearly and paused in all the right places for laughs. The night before the performance I was extremely nervous. I got out of bed in the middle of night so that Mom could comfort me and tell me that I would do great. When I got to my Mom's bed no one was there. I started to cry and wandered into our living room where lying on the couch was Merlene Sittrud. Merlene was my adopted Grandma ever since we left Spanish Fork and my grandparents. I cried to Merlene that I was nervous about the talent show and Merlene hugged me and told me that I was going to do great. She then told me that if I wanted she would be there to help me. For some reason this calmed me right down and I went back to sleep. When I woke up in the morning my dad was there and told me that I had a new baby brother. I laughed and told me dad not to tease me. (My dad is a notorious teaser) But I soon realized he wasn't teasing me and sure enough I had a new little brother. Dad took us to the hospital to see our new little brother, Garret was absolutly positive that we should name Tyler either Chip or Superman, good suggestions from a 3 and 1/2 year old. Our parents told us they were naming him Tyler James. I said oh good can we call him T.J. our parents said no. If we needed to call him anything it would be Ty. Oh like Ty Detmer I said. My parents said exactly. (We were giant BYU fans). I remember getting home from the hospital and getting ready for the talent show. I was so nervous and really sad that my Mom wasn't going to be there for it. When I got up to tell my story. I looked out in the audience and saw sweet Merlene sitting there with a big smile on her face. I told my story and felt so happy inside.
7. When I turned 8 I was in Mrs. Jeffs class again. She had moved from Kindergarten to 2nd grade. The biggest memory I have was my baptism. I remember asking my dad if I had to get baptized. He told me No but that I should pray about it. I did and felt really good about being baptized. My bishop at the time was Bishop Baltzer and he was so nice to me. My dad had car troubles the day of the baptism and nearly missed being their to baptize me. Most of my Dad's brothers made it and I remember being sad that My Great Grandma and Grandpa Warner weren't going to be there because Grandpa Warner had just had a heart attack. My mom had done a fancy French Braid on my hair and I wore the baptismal suit that my grandpa wore when he was baptized. I remember thinking the water was pretty cold and the amazing feeling that came over me as I came up from the water. After the baptism I changed into a pretty dress my Grandma Orr made for me and came out to greet all the people who came. My Uncle Carl pulled me aside and asked me if it felt like I was under the water for a long time. I thought about it and said Ya I think so, then he said that was because I was a Bad kid and it took a long time to wash all my sins off. He laughed and I thought he was really crazy. I was confirmed a member of the church the next day on Sunday and remember my Dad crying. My dad didn't cry very often and whenever he did in my life it was well documented in my mind. I remember feeling so glad my Dad held the priesthood and was able to bestow the gift of the holy ghost on me. It truly was a life changing event in my life.
8. The year that I turned 9 I was in the third grade. New Kids on the Block were huge but I really had no idea about them. I think it was in the third grade I started to understand that people didn't think I was cute and adorable like my mother and grandmother. I had a HUGE overbite and freckles and didn't like my mother to do my hair. I was in the nutcracker this year as a buffoon. I had lots of practice to go to on the weekends and loved nearly every second of it. We were preforming one night and I slipped on a cartwheel. I got right up and kept on dancing on the beat and finished with the rest of the dancers. As soon as we got off stage another little buffoon told me that I looked dumb and that everyone in the audience laughed at me. She told me that she wouldn't be surprised if they told me to quit. I was totally devastated. After the show ended I ran straight to my mom and cried my little eyes out. My mom told me that I did a great job and that if she hadn't seen the show before she would have thought that the slip was on purpose. For some reason that calmed me and I felt so much better. But I think that is when I started to worry about what other people thought about me.
9. Fourth Grade I had Mrs. Winget who was married in the middle of that year and became Mrs. Hansen. She was kind of loopy and sometimes was the happiest teacher in the world and other times was the meanest. But I'll never forget the end of the year awards she gave out. The first award I received was for some reading and math stuff. Nothing that spectacular. Then she started giving out the silly awards, I of course got the messiest desk award, I still to this day could win that award, organization just isn't my thing. After she was done giving out the silly awards she got really really serious, she said that she only gives out two of these awards every year and they were the most prestigious awards she handed out. She then explained they were the friendship award, she gave them to the students who were friends with everyone. I started thinking of the popular girls in the class the people who seemed to have lots of friends and were the really cool kids. She then called my name..I was shocked. I didn't think i was friends with everyone. Mrs. Hansen then explained that it didn't matter who I sat next to in class they always had a smile on their faces. She noticed that if someone was struggling with something in class I was the first to help them and stay with them till they understood. She said that if someone was new or felt left out I was the first to be their friend. Then she said that she felt lucky enough to consider herself one of my friends. I was honestly in shock and had never taken notice to what I was doing. I was just doing what I hoped others would do for me or what I knew was right. I think this was another life changing moment and I really started to understand what friendship meant.
10. When I was 11 we had this great activity with our primary. It was a Daddy Daughter Date. I loved spending time with my Dad and with 4 other brothers time alone with my Dad was pretty rare. At this activity we played lots of games and had a really yummy dinner. One of the games we played was If you love me you'll smile. We had to go and sit on our Daddy's laps and say "Daddy if you love me you'll smile" then the Dad had to say back "Honey, I love you but I just can't smile." If they could say it without smiling the Dad's would get a point but if they smiled the daughters got a point. My Dad has a great serious face and it's often the face he wears but I discovered that night that I have a special power over my Dad. No matter how hard he tried to not smile he couldn't help but smile, and not just kind of but the big no guessing smile. I knew that night that my Dad loved me.
11. When I turned 12 a lot of things were going on. My Dad was running for the County School Board, Mom had started really catering big events. My teeth had become a big joke to a lot of people and I got teased on a regular basis because of the size of my teeth and also for the size of my overbite. I couldn't stand it any more and one day I overheard my Mom talking about how the insurance that my Dad would get through the School District would make braces affordable for my family I began to take serious stock into my dad's Campaign. On election night I was sent to bed before the results were in and I was so nervous. I prayed and prayed all night that my Dad would win. When I woke up in the morning and heard that my Dad had won I knew that prayers were answered. Later that year I had braces put on. I was so excited.
12. The year I turned 13 was my first year at Junior High. Most people hated Jr. High but I had a great time. My first year there I remember getting called to the office. I thought for sure I was in trouble for something I for sure didn't do. But it turned out my grades weren't recorded on the school computer system and they wanted to see if I remembered them. I remembered them alright but I was afraid they thought I was lying. It was straight 4.0 but amazingly enough they didn't question me. I still don't know if they double checked with my teachers or not.
13. 14 was a great year. I had made the drill team and felt like my classes were way too easy. I started choir that year and once a week I had to get to school extra early for a special choir practice. I don't remember why we did it but I really learned how to sing that year and seriously had to make sure that I didn't covet Amanda's voice. That girl could sing the phone book and still make me cry.
14. the Summer of my 15th year was one not to forget. I had just finished Junior High and was really looking forward to starting high school and all the great things that came with turning 16. This Summer in particular my Mom had started a business running a restaurant at the golf course. My mom had been really sick that whole spring and one day as we were driving out to the golf course she told me she was going to the doctor because she thought she might have cancer. It was a heavy burden to hold and I worried about her for a long time. A few weeks later as we were driving home from the golf course she told me that she was pregnant. I was shocked! My baby brother was 8 my oldest brother was graduated from High school and had just moved to Spanish Fork before he started college at Dixie. The rest of that summer was spent me working as hard as I could at that little restaurant and worrying about how my Mom was going to do everything that she was doing and have a new little baby. But amazingly enough he arrived just a couple of weeks before my 16th birthday. I'll have to write that experience another time but let's just say as a 15 year old my Mom having a baby was a whole new concept.
15. The year I turned 16 was another crazy year. My oldest brother was preparing for a mission, my baby brother was just learning how to hold his head up and I was learning how to drive and how to flirt. My first Date was with Isaac Bott. I still don't know why he asked me out. We were both on the Cross Country team. He was good, I was there just for an excuse to miss school. When Isaac came to pick me up for my date my Dad had to talk to him for what seemed like forever. Isaac had recently been hit in the face with a bottle thrown from a car during one of our runs after school. I felt so bad for him and my Dad was making him relive every moment of it. We doubled with his older brother and a girl also named Andrea. We went to Price to go bowling but for some reason we couldn't go bowling so instead we hung out at Kmart throwing giant bouncy balls over the isles. We then went to little Ceasers and then took the pizza over to McDonalds to eat it. I think we got kicked out of every place we went. I don't think I had ever laughed so hard in my life. It was a great first date.
16. When I turned 17 I had a lot of guy friends and loved hanging out with them. We did something almost every single weekend and things never really got weird between us and I loved hanging out with them way more than hanging out with girls and all of their crazy emotional melt downs and worrying if this guy or that guy liked them. I remember one day all of us going to an elementary school at night and playing steal the flag. I really hadn't noticed that I was talking with the guys and all the other girls where standing there talking to each other till we had separated into teams and this one girl asked me which of the guys I liked and if I would mind if she asked one of the guys to a dance. I was totally taken back I had totally forgot that I was supposed to be in that stage of life and decided it would be wrong if I dated one of those guys in my group. So decided to start looking else where. I still hold all those guys as some of my best friends and love whenever we get together it still doesn't get weird between us and we can carry on a conversation as if we spent every day together.
17. Eighteen was a great year as well. Probably one of the most dominate memories happened in seminary council. I love the people that I served with as if they were my own siblings. I'll never forget the end of year Testimony meeting. I attend 4 out of the 7 testimony meetings and was able to share my testimony multiple times. It was an outstanding feeling. I remember coming home from school that day just exhausted but feeling so happy and at peace with the person I was becoming. I will forever be grateful for the strength my testimony received that last year of high school. It really prepared me for the challenges I would face later in my life.
18. When I turned 19 I was in my first year of college at CEU. I'll never forget my first weekend of college. My parents lived just a half hour away from my dorm and my Mom helped me pack up all my stuff and drive it over in the van while I followed along in my awesome Dodge Omni (RIP) My mom and two of my brothers helped unpack the van bring my boxes of stuff up to my room after they left the boxes Mom looked at me, looked at her watch and said, "Well, Garret has black and gold in a little bit we better get back. " She gave me a hug and then took my brothers out to the van and drove back home. I watched them for as long as I could until they turned down the street and I knew that life would never be the same. I had left the comforts of home and even though home was just a 30 minute drive from where I was living my place was now to find out where I was supposed to be and it was not to be in Orangeville any longer. After I unpacked my stuff and met my sweet roommate Maki. I went grocery shopping, met the Men's Basketball team who talked so fast that I really didn't understand what they were saying and then went to bed. When I woke up at 8:00 the next morning to go to church I really didn't think about it till after I got back from the three hour block of meetings. I went to church and no one here expecting me to. I went on my own because I wanted to. It was a pretty strange feeling and a really good one at that.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
I don't know much BUT I know I LOVE these!
I won a contest once. I was able to go get These pictures taken and well you can see for yourself!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Pilates for Kindergartners
Today during Yoga Lizzie came upstairs while she was trying to keep all the kids in the basement. She ran back downstairs and I soon heard Snow Patrol playing from our DVD player in the basement. I thought it was funny that she wanted to dance instead of usual play but whatever Dance Parties are fun too. After we were all done and before the kids knew that we were done I ran downstairs to grab something for a friend. When I walked down the stairs snow patrol was still playing but instead of a dance party I saw Lizzie sitting at the front of the room and the 6 other kids in lines sitting Indian style with their little hands in prayer position. Lizzie was just telling them to relax their knees and breathe in deeply. I ran through the room choking back the laughter and when I came out Lizzie had them lying on their backs pulling themselves up into C curves using the exact same words that I use when instructing my pilates class. I don't know whether to be disturbed or extremely proud. I guess if Gold's Gym decides to open up a preschool class taught by a preschooler I would have the perfect instructor for them.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
I'm supposed to write this
It was the end of the year of my first year at USU. I had just recently been called to serve as the Vice President of Service for the Latter Day Saints Single Association (L.D.S.S.A.) and I was in a pretty sad place. I had made some choices that were bringing me some serious grief and someone else had made a choice that caused me some tremendous heartache. I was one of those stupid girls that had a missionary and had somehow miraculously survived the entire two years he was gone without accepting any marriage proposals. When he got home he decided I wasn't that cool or something (seriously don't cry for me people I'm over it by a long long way but I'm just setting the story here) anyhow he broke up with me and seriously shattered my heart in a million bazillion pieces. After he broke up with me in January I always figured he'd come back to me because, honestly, it was me..how on earth can anyone do better than me? Well he had just emailed me that day that he was engaged.. yes just a short 3 months after dumping me. I was seriously distraught. I wasn't getting along the best with my roommates which I'm pretty sure was my fault for being a selfish immature brat because those girls are all seriously wonderful girls. As I was walking back to my house after feeling completely deflated after taking a seriously crappy final that I was pretty sure I had flunked (stupid Statistics is there really a point to that class) I was dreading the loneliness and utter dismal prospects of my life. I felt friendless despite knowing a whole bunch of people and honestly being in one of the happiest places on earth. As I walked down old main hill I found myself pleading with my Heavenly Father...I needed someone or something to help rally my heart back to it's usual happy state. I was miserable and every second I spent by myself the more I hated myself. I knew that Heavenly Father loved me and that he would somehow be able to snap me out of this self loathing state. As I opened the door to my own personal pit of despair the telephone rang and I answered it. The following conversation took place:
"Hello, is Andrea there?"
"This is she." I was pretty sure it was some sort of telemarketer out to tell me that I was a terrible person and giving up on everything would be the best solution for the entire world."
"Hey Andrea, it's Haylie from LDSSA. I was thinking we haven't really gotten to know each other and I'd really like to get you know you better. Do you have time to hang out with me tonight."
Part of me really wanted to let her know that she was wasting her time trying to get to know me because really she would have had a better time stroking piranhas then wasting her time getting to know me. But some how I choked out a "Sure." and then she said
"Great, I'll be by to get you in 30 minutes."
I think I kind of stared at the phone for a long time. None of my roommates were home. They seemed to know when I would be home and avoided me like someone carrying the plague. Which really I was carrying a serious plague of the majorly downs. Soon enough Haylie showed up in her car and I followed her back to her car in a zombie like trance. I don't really remember our conversation but before I knew it we were walking toward a group of people who were laughing and for some strange reason having a good time. I looked at what all these people were doing and they were painting wooden toys. I thought it was really weird that these college students were having such a good time painting, cars, trains and trucks and why the heck would you want to play with them. Haylie then explained to me that it was A week and this was the service project. There was a man who would carve all of these toys and then send them off to other places in the world for kids who didn't have anything to play with. As I saw boxes and boxes and boxes of all these wooden toys my heart was touched by this faceless man who took so much time to lovingly carve each of these toys. Our job was to paint them to give them just a bit more flair and color. I picked up a brush and did my best to paint a truck a happy color of blue. Haylie and I didn't really chat much, no one asked me why I was sad. I didn't have the chance to go off on my roommates and how mean they were being to me (really they weren't but at the time it seemed like it) I didn't get to tell my sob story how my missionary dumped me and found love so quickly after leaving me. None of that really seemed to matter. It was as if each brush stroke put things more into persepective. These were all just experinces I was called to go through. I was going to make it. I had a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I had a loving family despite them being miles and miles away. Friends would come and go and it really was all my decision on how other's actions affected me. By the time my happy blue truck was painted my heart was light. I grabbed another car and started to paint it a happy red color. I started chatting away with others around me and couldn't help how my heart felt happy and light. By the time we had finished all the boxes of wooden toys everyone was laughing and smiles were on everyones faces. As Haylie and I got back in her car and headed back to my place I realzied we didn't talk much yet I felt like I knew her so well. As we pulled into my driveway Haylie said,
"I almost didn't call you Andrea. I had just finished saying my prayers and felt so strongly that I should call you. I was worried what you would think about me, worried what we would say to each other. But I knew I had to call you."
My eyes filled with tears. I tried to choke back all the emotions I was feeling. I knew why Haylie had that impression. I was so grateful for her and her willingness to follow the spirit. I knew that Haylie would forever be one of those great friends and for the first time since I had received my calling to serve as the VP over Service in LDSSA I felt up to serving in that capacity and so grateful that so many other great people had been called to serve with me. Instead of telling Haylie all these thoughts crowding my mind all I could say to Haylie was
"Thanks for Calling me." Haylie and I went on to be wonderful friends and I will forever be grateful for her constant out reach to me whenever I felt down.
I've learned so much from Haylie's great example and I hope that those of you reading this might have picked up on it as well.
1. Never ever doubt those promptings of the spirit. Sometimes we worry we may feel silly calling someone who just crosses our mind or knocking on someones door to just give them a hug. We may worry of rejection or maybe there's nothing wrong with the person at all. I'm sure I seemed happy enough to everyone on the outside. Honestly I can fake happiness really really easily and there were only two people in the entire universe who really knew what was going on the inside of me...Me and Heavenly Father. So don't doubt when the spirit whispers to your heart that someone needs something. Just DO IT!
2. When we are down sometimes we just want to vent and let others hear how terrible we have it. Somehow hoping to vindicate our own emotions and gather some pity. Haylie took me to do some service. As I served those less fortunate than me my burdens weren't taken away but I was lightened. With an overwhelming feeling that I was capable of doing what I was called to do. I don't know sometimes you need to vent but today I have this overwhelming feeling that if we get off our pity boxes and try to serve someone else we will be filled with that light of Christ that comes with any act of charity. That light will help us to see things more clearly and being able to gain the perspective that we all need.
I miss seeing Haylie on a daily basis and Haylie if you ever happen to read this you'll never know how indebted I am to you and your amazing testimony. I know that Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers. He will never ever call us through a trial that we cannot handle and as long as our hearts and minds are open he will bless us with the perspective we need. I know that as we serve others we will be filled with the light of Christ and we will see miracles in our lives and the lives of others.
"Hello, is Andrea there?"
"This is she." I was pretty sure it was some sort of telemarketer out to tell me that I was a terrible person and giving up on everything would be the best solution for the entire world."
"Hey Andrea, it's Haylie from LDSSA. I was thinking we haven't really gotten to know each other and I'd really like to get you know you better. Do you have time to hang out with me tonight."
Part of me really wanted to let her know that she was wasting her time trying to get to know me because really she would have had a better time stroking piranhas then wasting her time getting to know me. But some how I choked out a "Sure." and then she said
"Great, I'll be by to get you in 30 minutes."
I think I kind of stared at the phone for a long time. None of my roommates were home. They seemed to know when I would be home and avoided me like someone carrying the plague. Which really I was carrying a serious plague of the majorly downs. Soon enough Haylie showed up in her car and I followed her back to her car in a zombie like trance. I don't really remember our conversation but before I knew it we were walking toward a group of people who were laughing and for some strange reason having a good time. I looked at what all these people were doing and they were painting wooden toys. I thought it was really weird that these college students were having such a good time painting, cars, trains and trucks and why the heck would you want to play with them. Haylie then explained to me that it was A week and this was the service project. There was a man who would carve all of these toys and then send them off to other places in the world for kids who didn't have anything to play with. As I saw boxes and boxes and boxes of all these wooden toys my heart was touched by this faceless man who took so much time to lovingly carve each of these toys. Our job was to paint them to give them just a bit more flair and color. I picked up a brush and did my best to paint a truck a happy color of blue. Haylie and I didn't really chat much, no one asked me why I was sad. I didn't have the chance to go off on my roommates and how mean they were being to me (really they weren't but at the time it seemed like it) I didn't get to tell my sob story how my missionary dumped me and found love so quickly after leaving me. None of that really seemed to matter. It was as if each brush stroke put things more into persepective. These were all just experinces I was called to go through. I was going to make it. I had a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I had a loving family despite them being miles and miles away. Friends would come and go and it really was all my decision on how other's actions affected me. By the time my happy blue truck was painted my heart was light. I grabbed another car and started to paint it a happy red color. I started chatting away with others around me and couldn't help how my heart felt happy and light. By the time we had finished all the boxes of wooden toys everyone was laughing and smiles were on everyones faces. As Haylie and I got back in her car and headed back to my place I realzied we didn't talk much yet I felt like I knew her so well. As we pulled into my driveway Haylie said,
"I almost didn't call you Andrea. I had just finished saying my prayers and felt so strongly that I should call you. I was worried what you would think about me, worried what we would say to each other. But I knew I had to call you."
My eyes filled with tears. I tried to choke back all the emotions I was feeling. I knew why Haylie had that impression. I was so grateful for her and her willingness to follow the spirit. I knew that Haylie would forever be one of those great friends and for the first time since I had received my calling to serve as the VP over Service in LDSSA I felt up to serving in that capacity and so grateful that so many other great people had been called to serve with me. Instead of telling Haylie all these thoughts crowding my mind all I could say to Haylie was
"Thanks for Calling me." Haylie and I went on to be wonderful friends and I will forever be grateful for her constant out reach to me whenever I felt down.
I've learned so much from Haylie's great example and I hope that those of you reading this might have picked up on it as well.
1. Never ever doubt those promptings of the spirit. Sometimes we worry we may feel silly calling someone who just crosses our mind or knocking on someones door to just give them a hug. We may worry of rejection or maybe there's nothing wrong with the person at all. I'm sure I seemed happy enough to everyone on the outside. Honestly I can fake happiness really really easily and there were only two people in the entire universe who really knew what was going on the inside of me...Me and Heavenly Father. So don't doubt when the spirit whispers to your heart that someone needs something. Just DO IT!
2. When we are down sometimes we just want to vent and let others hear how terrible we have it. Somehow hoping to vindicate our own emotions and gather some pity. Haylie took me to do some service. As I served those less fortunate than me my burdens weren't taken away but I was lightened. With an overwhelming feeling that I was capable of doing what I was called to do. I don't know sometimes you need to vent but today I have this overwhelming feeling that if we get off our pity boxes and try to serve someone else we will be filled with that light of Christ that comes with any act of charity. That light will help us to see things more clearly and being able to gain the perspective that we all need.
I miss seeing Haylie on a daily basis and Haylie if you ever happen to read this you'll never know how indebted I am to you and your amazing testimony. I know that Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers. He will never ever call us through a trial that we cannot handle and as long as our hearts and minds are open he will bless us with the perspective we need. I know that as we serve others we will be filled with the light of Christ and we will see miracles in our lives and the lives of others.
Monday, June 22, 2009
We're all Winners in our hearts
So I'm a crazy person..You all know that...You all probably get a kick out of it and that's really why you read this blog. But as a crazy person I did a crazy thing I entered this contest.
Ummm I'm slightly in love with Brooke's work and try really hard not to covet her talents so I figured the best thing for me to do is just blog stalk her and learn as much as I can from her. So when she came up with this contest I hoped that one of my friends would nominate me..I mean...come on...I could be considered beautiful in some cultures. But really when it got down to it (Warning: this next statement may seem arrogant, prideful and down right ridiculous) I know that I'm a beautiful person. I know I'm not a drop dead gorgeous pageant queen. I know I'm not the next cover model of vogue magazine. I know that when people describe me beautiful may not be one of the first things they say as they describe me, but I know that I'm beautiful. So as the crunch for the deadline came closer and closer and the nominations of people became more heart felt and moving and my friends seemed to somehow miss all the secret mind messages I was sending to nominate me I decided to do a very un-beautiful thing and nominate myself.
Here's what I wrote:
Ummm I'm slightly in love with Brooke's work and try really hard not to covet her talents so I figured the best thing for me to do is just blog stalk her and learn as much as I can from her. So when she came up with this contest I hoped that one of my friends would nominate me..I mean...come on...I could be considered beautiful in some cultures. But really when it got down to it (Warning: this next statement may seem arrogant, prideful and down right ridiculous) I know that I'm a beautiful person. I know I'm not a drop dead gorgeous pageant queen. I know I'm not the next cover model of vogue magazine. I know that when people describe me beautiful may not be one of the first things they say as they describe me, but I know that I'm beautiful. So as the crunch for the deadline came closer and closer and the nominations of people became more heart felt and moving and my friends seemed to somehow miss all the secret mind messages I was sending to nominate me I decided to do a very un-beautiful thing and nominate myself.
Here's what I wrote:
Andrea wrote:
Gaaa!!I can’t believe I’m doing this. But I’m going to nominate myself just merely for the fact that the reason I think I’m beautiful has yet to be mentioned.
As a small child I grew up singing the song “I Am a Child of God” and that one simple bit of knowledge helped me radiate my own true beauty through the ratty hair, massive amounts of freckles and those giant buck teeth that seemed to be the brunt of everyone’s jokes.
More importantly that knowledge grew with me as I went through that awkward teenage years. It helped me make good decisions and really helped me shine through out high school.
But now as a full pledge Mother, Wife and (shoot I feel so old saying this) Woman knowing that I am a daughter of God has solidified my beauty. I know that I am beautiful not only when I’m dressed to the nines but more importantly when I’m dressed in my baggy sweats and peanut butter and jelly covered tee shirts. I know I’m beautiful when I’m going out on a hot date with my hubby but more importantly I feel beautiful when I’m teaching my children about who they really are and helping them realize their own potential. I know I’m beautiful when my husband lovingly tells me so but more importantly I feel I’m beautiful when I feel the spirit whisper a reminder of who I am to my heart after a heartfelt prayer.
I’ve never been the jaw-dropping, breath taking beauty..but I hope that my kind of beauty always makes people feel as though they are a better person, possibly a little happier and a little more full of hope all because they know that there is a loving heavenly father that no matter what loves them, and they have the same potential to become like him.
I could drone on and on about this it’s kind of a tender spot for me. I don’t really expect for you to pick me there are so many moving stories on your blog already but this must be said. Everyone should feel beautiful take a look at all the creations our heavenly father has created..He does not know how to make anything less than beautiful. And despite what we may view as imperfections or flaw our spirits are beautiful and truly radiate TRUE beauty.
Honestly I could go over this a whole bunch more times and probably will in the course of my writings. Nothing drives me more bonkers than women who constantly put themselves down because they can't find anything beautiful about themselves. Women, who despite their beauty focuses on those unimportant flaws, imperfections as if to discount the amazing beauty that radiates from us all.
We are children of a loving heavenly Father and even more importantly to the women who read this you are his daughter. You were created in the image of deity. The beauty that each of us posess doesn't come from just our physical bodies but more importantly from the person inside the spirit daughter of God realizing her potential to become like her Father and striving to obtain that potential.
Now I must admit that I'm not perfect in recognizing my own beauty and I have from time to time felt a little less because my outer beauty may not be the most awesome ever but I have never doubted my beauty when I was in the service of someone else, I've never doubted my beauty when I have shared my testimony or have felt my testimony grow. I've never doubted my beauty when I've recieved an answer to a prayer. These times are really the times that matter. I'm not going to lie to you I really make an effort to look good (k not every day as I am currently sitting in my chair with my sweats on and my hair pulled back in a pony tail) but I enjoy doing my hair and putting on make-up and dressing nicely not because that's the only chance I have of looking beautiful but I like to think of dressing up as having the outside match what's on the inside.
I don't know....I kind of feel like I'm rambling now...but I hope you all feel this from time to time. Remeber that you are beautiful. Remember that you are the daughter of a king and have the potential to become a queen and receive all the grace and beauty that comes with that.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
A conversation that I didn't get to converse in.
Last weekend I was lucky enough to attend Women's conference with my Mom and one of her sisters. Turned out another sister wouldn't be able to attend, and since my entire life my mom always called me by this sister's name, I was a perfect fit. I left my house early Friday morning and arrived at BYU at bright and early 7:30 a.m. I was blown away by all the women there and honestly it took my nose a second to adjust to all the different forms of purfume roaming through the air.
I was soon able to meet with my Mom and her sister and prepared ourselves to be uplifted and edified. We listened to some great speakers and my heart really was lightened and I felt an immeadete rejoicing with all the sisters meeting there.
I listened to my Mom and her sister talk as we went from place to place and learned a lot about their relationship and witnessed first hand the give and take of sisterhood.
Our closing speaker was Elder L. Tom Perry and did he ever give us a message. He talked a lot about Missionary work and how WE all have influence of how the church is viewed. He gave us some starting points on how we can better the image of the church by just being ourselves and not being afraid to be who we are. I was so inspired and commited to my part even better.
It truly was awe inspiring to see 20,000+ women gathered together wanting to help better their homes, their communities and even more the world. As we sang the closing song "The Lord Is my Light" the music soared through my body and slowly every woman was on their feet singing this glorious song uniting in spirit and word.
After the prayer we made a mad dash to the BYU bookstore to pick up a few momento's and decided to grab some dinner before we all went our seperate ways. My mom's other sister called and was able to meet us for dinner and wanted a blow by blow report of each class we attended. When we began to discuss Elder Perry's talk I was soon edged out of the conversation. The aunt whom I had spent the entire day with then said that Missionary work would be able to spread more easily if people would leave Utah and get out in the real world. She then began to assail on all "Utah Mormons ". As she began to talk more and more I felt as if she were saying if You belong to the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and live in Utah you are not really serving the church. Afterall she had sacraficed her children's relationships with her family so that they could live in Washington. My mom and her sisters continued to argue the point my Mom being the only Utah Mormon of the three and somehow I was unable to get a word in. It was probably for the better BUT I want to be able to write down my responses to her accusations if anything just so I don't blow them out at her next time I see her.
When Jeremy was finishing school he applied for every single job ever offered to an electrical engineer. He was blessed enough to have 6 job offers some of which were out of the state of Utah. I was so excited at the possibilites each of those offers brought to our life. As we narrowed down our decision it came down to 2 offers one was in Salt Lake City working for a large engineering firm which he had tried to get an internship with earlier in his collegic carreer, this company had a great reputation for taking care of it's employees and the work they did really interested Jeremy. The 2nd was working for a naval weapons testing area in California they paid for both me and Jeremy to go out and tour the facility and explore the area. The area was amazing the people were so friendly and I honestly could picture us raising a family there. I was excited to have the missionary experince and realized that it would be hard to be away from our families but knew that if that's where the Lord needed us to be that we would be blessed for it. We came back home and began to weigh out the pro's and con's and really started praying and fasting to figure out the Lord's will for us. We had blessings from our bishop and went to the temple several times. Finally in a moment of clarity and with a peace that only the spirit can bring we knew what was the right decision for our family. We accepted the job in Salt Lake City and began house hunting in the surrounding areas until we felt that same peace about our current home in Tooele. In a way I was so disappointed that we weren't leaving Utah and that my children would not be able to have those experinces that I so desired as a child.
Three years have come and gone since all of those decisions and I've had some time to see maybe some of the reasons why The Lord needed us here. Most of my neighbors are active members of our ward and the few who aren't active we've been able to become friends with. I've been able to have a small role and have seen a few people become converted in our time here but I wouldn't say that I've had any fantastic missionary experinces. If I am able to see anything of our short stay here it is being able to bloom where I'm planted. It's been my desire to help stregthen those around me and really bring the love of Christ more fully into the lives of those who I meet, whether they belong to the church of Jesus Christ or not. We can do a lot by stregthening our own members in our own ward and hope that maybe as I do that that somehow it blesses the lives of others. So dear Aunt, Please don't criticize me for being just another Utah Mormon. Know that we are where the Lord needs us to be. Jeremy and I commited a long time ago to go where He wants us to go, and Be what he wants us to be. I'm quite sure that there are many others living here in Utah that fall in the same catagory as us. We're not trying to hide our light and really are trying to be the best versions of ourselves.
I know for me as a high school teenager I still faced having to stand up for what was right even though my friends were all members of the church and had been taught the same standards that I had. That was really hard for me to have to remove myself from my friends because I knew that the choices they were making were wrong despite all of us being taught the same thing from the time we were young. Challenges will be presented to us regardless of where we live and who we're friends with. Having a relationship with your family still takes effort even if you live in the same state. I really think that what it comes down to is being able to further your testimony, striving to live up to your potential regardless of where you live. The question is Are you? I hope so. During this small moment of our mortal existence we are trying to align our Will with our Father's by using our own free agency. It's a process but I feel like we're doing our best. I know that as long as I'm living up to the covenants that I've made we will always be striving for that.
I'm grateful for the spirit and it's help in leading us to the right choices for our family and testify that as long as we earnestly seek it with a humble heart and open mind we can find the joy and happiness that is our for the taking. So I challenge you all (all 5 of you who read this blog) to stop and reflect, Are you where the Lord wants you? Are you being what the Lord wants you to be? Are you willing to do what he would have you do? If you are wonderful! Keep it up! Don't let go of that feeling and always strive to have it with you. If you feel like something is amiss, Pray, Ponder find out what it is that the Lord would have you do. I promise you that once you become inline with what his will is you will experince a joy that can only come from staying true to those things.
I was soon able to meet with my Mom and her sister and prepared ourselves to be uplifted and edified. We listened to some great speakers and my heart really was lightened and I felt an immeadete rejoicing with all the sisters meeting there.
I listened to my Mom and her sister talk as we went from place to place and learned a lot about their relationship and witnessed first hand the give and take of sisterhood.
Our closing speaker was Elder L. Tom Perry and did he ever give us a message. He talked a lot about Missionary work and how WE all have influence of how the church is viewed. He gave us some starting points on how we can better the image of the church by just being ourselves and not being afraid to be who we are. I was so inspired and commited to my part even better.
It truly was awe inspiring to see 20,000+ women gathered together wanting to help better their homes, their communities and even more the world. As we sang the closing song "The Lord Is my Light" the music soared through my body and slowly every woman was on their feet singing this glorious song uniting in spirit and word.
After the prayer we made a mad dash to the BYU bookstore to pick up a few momento's and decided to grab some dinner before we all went our seperate ways. My mom's other sister called and was able to meet us for dinner and wanted a blow by blow report of each class we attended. When we began to discuss Elder Perry's talk I was soon edged out of the conversation. The aunt whom I had spent the entire day with then said that Missionary work would be able to spread more easily if people would leave Utah and get out in the real world. She then began to assail on all "Utah Mormons ". As she began to talk more and more I felt as if she were saying if You belong to the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and live in Utah you are not really serving the church. Afterall she had sacraficed her children's relationships with her family so that they could live in Washington. My mom and her sisters continued to argue the point my Mom being the only Utah Mormon of the three and somehow I was unable to get a word in. It was probably for the better BUT I want to be able to write down my responses to her accusations if anything just so I don't blow them out at her next time I see her.
When Jeremy was finishing school he applied for every single job ever offered to an electrical engineer. He was blessed enough to have 6 job offers some of which were out of the state of Utah. I was so excited at the possibilites each of those offers brought to our life. As we narrowed down our decision it came down to 2 offers one was in Salt Lake City working for a large engineering firm which he had tried to get an internship with earlier in his collegic carreer, this company had a great reputation for taking care of it's employees and the work they did really interested Jeremy. The 2nd was working for a naval weapons testing area in California they paid for both me and Jeremy to go out and tour the facility and explore the area. The area was amazing the people were so friendly and I honestly could picture us raising a family there. I was excited to have the missionary experince and realized that it would be hard to be away from our families but knew that if that's where the Lord needed us to be that we would be blessed for it. We came back home and began to weigh out the pro's and con's and really started praying and fasting to figure out the Lord's will for us. We had blessings from our bishop and went to the temple several times. Finally in a moment of clarity and with a peace that only the spirit can bring we knew what was the right decision for our family. We accepted the job in Salt Lake City and began house hunting in the surrounding areas until we felt that same peace about our current home in Tooele. In a way I was so disappointed that we weren't leaving Utah and that my children would not be able to have those experinces that I so desired as a child.
Three years have come and gone since all of those decisions and I've had some time to see maybe some of the reasons why The Lord needed us here. Most of my neighbors are active members of our ward and the few who aren't active we've been able to become friends with. I've been able to have a small role and have seen a few people become converted in our time here but I wouldn't say that I've had any fantastic missionary experinces. If I am able to see anything of our short stay here it is being able to bloom where I'm planted. It's been my desire to help stregthen those around me and really bring the love of Christ more fully into the lives of those who I meet, whether they belong to the church of Jesus Christ or not. We can do a lot by stregthening our own members in our own ward and hope that maybe as I do that that somehow it blesses the lives of others. So dear Aunt, Please don't criticize me for being just another Utah Mormon. Know that we are where the Lord needs us to be. Jeremy and I commited a long time ago to go where He wants us to go, and Be what he wants us to be. I'm quite sure that there are many others living here in Utah that fall in the same catagory as us. We're not trying to hide our light and really are trying to be the best versions of ourselves.
I know for me as a high school teenager I still faced having to stand up for what was right even though my friends were all members of the church and had been taught the same standards that I had. That was really hard for me to have to remove myself from my friends because I knew that the choices they were making were wrong despite all of us being taught the same thing from the time we were young. Challenges will be presented to us regardless of where we live and who we're friends with. Having a relationship with your family still takes effort even if you live in the same state. I really think that what it comes down to is being able to further your testimony, striving to live up to your potential regardless of where you live. The question is Are you? I hope so. During this small moment of our mortal existence we are trying to align our Will with our Father's by using our own free agency. It's a process but I feel like we're doing our best. I know that as long as I'm living up to the covenants that I've made we will always be striving for that.
I'm grateful for the spirit and it's help in leading us to the right choices for our family and testify that as long as we earnestly seek it with a humble heart and open mind we can find the joy and happiness that is our for the taking. So I challenge you all (all 5 of you who read this blog) to stop and reflect, Are you where the Lord wants you? Are you being what the Lord wants you to be? Are you willing to do what he would have you do? If you are wonderful! Keep it up! Don't let go of that feeling and always strive to have it with you. If you feel like something is amiss, Pray, Ponder find out what it is that the Lord would have you do. I promise you that once you become inline with what his will is you will experince a joy that can only come from staying true to those things.
Friday, April 24, 2009
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