A conversation that I didn't get to converse in.

Last weekend I was lucky enough to attend Women's conference with my Mom and one of her sisters. Turned out another sister wouldn't be able to attend, and since my entire life my mom always called me by this sister's name, I was a perfect fit. I left my house early Friday morning and arrived at BYU at bright and early 7:30 a.m. I was blown away by all the women there and honestly it took my nose a second to adjust to all the different forms of purfume roaming through the air.
I was soon able to meet with my Mom and her sister and prepared ourselves to be uplifted and edified. We listened to some great speakers and my heart really was lightened and I felt an immeadete rejoicing with all the sisters meeting there.
I listened to my Mom and her sister talk as we went from place to place and learned a lot about their relationship and witnessed first hand the give and take of sisterhood.
Our closing speaker was Elder L. Tom Perry and did he ever give us a message. He talked a lot about Missionary work and how WE all have influence of how the church is viewed. He gave us some starting points on how we can better the image of the church by just being ourselves and not being afraid to be who we are. I was so inspired and commited to my part even better.
It truly was awe inspiring to see 20,000+ women gathered together wanting to help better their homes, their communities and even more the world. As we sang the closing song "The Lord Is my Light" the music soared through my body and slowly every woman was on their feet singing this glorious song uniting in spirit and word.
After the prayer we made a mad dash to the BYU bookstore to pick up a few momento's and decided to grab some dinner before we all went our seperate ways. My mom's other sister called and was able to meet us for dinner and wanted a blow by blow report of each class we attended. When we began to discuss Elder Perry's talk I was soon edged out of the conversation. The aunt whom I had spent the entire day with then said that Missionary work would be able to spread more easily if people would leave Utah and get out in the real world. She then began to assail on all "Utah Mormons ". As she began to talk more and more I felt as if she were saying if You belong to the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and live in Utah you are not really serving the church. Afterall she had sacraficed her children's relationships with her family so that they could live in Washington. My mom and her sisters continued to argue the point my Mom being the only Utah Mormon of the three and somehow I was unable to get a word in. It was probably for the better BUT I want to be able to write down my responses to her accusations if anything just so I don't blow them out at her next time I see her.
When Jeremy was finishing school he applied for every single job ever offered to an electrical engineer. He was blessed enough to have 6 job offers some of which were out of the state of Utah. I was so excited at the possibilites each of those offers brought to our life. As we narrowed down our decision it came down to 2 offers one was in Salt Lake City working for a large engineering firm which he had tried to get an internship with earlier in his collegic carreer, this company had a great reputation for taking care of it's employees and the work they did really interested Jeremy. The 2nd was working for a naval weapons testing area in California they paid for both me and Jeremy to go out and tour the facility and explore the area. The area was amazing the people were so friendly and I honestly could picture us raising a family there. I was excited to have the missionary experince and realized that it would be hard to be away from our families but knew that if that's where the Lord needed us to be that we would be blessed for it. We came back home and began to weigh out the pro's and con's and really started praying and fasting to figure out the Lord's will for us. We had blessings from our bishop and went to the temple several times. Finally in a moment of clarity and with a peace that only the spirit can bring we knew what was the right decision for our family. We accepted the job in Salt Lake City and began house hunting in the surrounding areas until we felt that same peace about our current home in Tooele. In a way I was so disappointed that we weren't leaving Utah and that my children would not be able to have those experinces that I so desired as a child.
Three years have come and gone since all of those decisions and I've had some time to see maybe some of the reasons why The Lord needed us here. Most of my neighbors are active members of our ward and the few who aren't active we've been able to become friends with. I've been able to have a small role and have seen a few people become converted in our time here but I wouldn't say that I've had any fantastic missionary experinces. If I am able to see anything of our short stay here it is being able to bloom where I'm planted. It's been my desire to help stregthen those around me and really bring the love of Christ more fully into the lives of those who I meet, whether they belong to the church of Jesus Christ or not. We can do a lot by stregthening our own members in our own ward and hope that maybe as I do that that somehow it blesses the lives of others. So dear Aunt, Please don't criticize me for being just another Utah Mormon. Know that we are where the Lord needs us to be. Jeremy and I commited a long time ago to go where He wants us to go, and Be what he wants us to be. I'm quite sure that there are many others living here in Utah that fall in the same catagory as us. We're not trying to hide our light and really are trying to be the best versions of ourselves.
I know for me as a high school teenager I still faced having to stand up for what was right even though my friends were all members of the church and had been taught the same standards that I had. That was really hard for me to have to remove myself from my friends because I knew that the choices they were making were wrong despite all of us being taught the same thing from the time we were young. Challenges will be presented to us regardless of where we live and who we're friends with. Having a relationship with your family still takes effort even if you live in the same state. I really think that what it comes down to is being able to further your testimony, striving to live up to your potential regardless of where you live. The question is Are you? I hope so. During this small moment of our mortal existence we are trying to align our Will with our Father's by using our own free agency. It's a process but I feel like we're doing our best. I know that as long as I'm living up to the covenants that I've made we will always be striving for that.
I'm grateful for the spirit and it's help in leading us to the right choices for our family and testify that as long as we earnestly seek it with a humble heart and open mind we can find the joy and happiness that is our for the taking. So I challenge you all (all 5 of you who read this blog) to stop and reflect, Are you where the Lord wants you? Are you being what the Lord wants you to be? Are you willing to do what he would have you do? If you are wonderful! Keep it up! Don't let go of that feeling and always strive to have it with you. If you feel like something is amiss, Pray, Ponder find out what it is that the Lord would have you do. I promise you that once you become inline with what his will is you will experince a joy that can only come from staying true to those things.

eight minutes that i enjoyed

Progression

Hey Readers,
So see this picture....See me bottom row second person from the left. Yes that is me in a basketball jersey without makeup and wearing those sporty head bands that keep your hair out of your eyes. Yes those are my cute little legs slightly blinding white but the point is that they are little and quite shapely if i can say so myself. This has been my latest endeavor. Now some of you may think it's no big deal to be on a basketball team that you didn't have to try out for or let alone play really well and still be able to get time on the courts but to me it's been a big deal.
I guess some people have considered me sporty but for those of you who really know me know that I'm not really sporty just knowledgeable about sports. For background I do have 5 very athletic and gifted brothers and I did play football and basketball with them regularly but I didn't play very well. I started ballet at the age of 4 and retired from that "sport" right before my 20th birthday. I still dance but just so you can all picture it all my "sporty" stuff is now done with a classically trained ballet mode. I run with my feet turned out and with proper posture. My husband who has perfect running form and could run 26.2 miles without any training and do it in record time has tried to correct my form to "improve" my running ability but he's fighting 15 years of ballet and old women with rulers yelling at me and constantly correcting my form so ballet always wins.
Jeremy has been really supportive of me running even if he silently snickers at what I consider my fast times and my long distances but when I told Jeremy I was going to go play basketball with other women Jeremy just couldn't take it any longer. He gently reminded me that I was not an athlete to help spare me embarrassment. Now maybe if I was a different woman I would have heeded his council and been satisfied with my pilates and running. But I'm prideful and his comments if anything spurred me on to prove him wrong.
Our first game I was completely intimidated. I could tell by the form of 9/10 of the women there had at least high school experience and wasn't shocked to find out many of them had college time as well. I play basketball like a ballerina trying to play basketball. My one and only advantage was that I was some what in shape and could run up and down the court without being winded. I still hyperventilated every time I was passed the ball and did my best to either pass it away or dribble a couple of times and make a ridiculous shot that somehow by a miracle at least came close to touching the basket.
But I played and was blown away when people said I was fast (because really I'm not) but I knew I was in shape enough to run about 4 miles without stopping.
Fast forward a few weeks and me feeling a little more comfortable about touching a basketball and actually being able to get it in the hoop. In addition I remembered how to guard and make other people feel intimidated by my "large" stature just as I'm starting to feel more comfortable the wonderful women I play with inform me that we're actually going to compete. I then start preparing my excuse why I can't play against other women and hope that for some reason I wouldn't be able to make it. But unfortunately I feel connected to these women and although my talent is so pale in comparison to theirs I know that I'll play with them. We practice a couple more times and sure enough the competition is here. I am so nervous by this day but that's where my competitive nature comes in. I have this fail safe feature about me that holds on to the fact that I'm AWESOME. As I contemplate my own awesomeness I realize that regardless of the out come of the competition I will remain AWESOME. It's how I've been my whole life and has gotten me through so much of my life but it's been awhile since I've had to rely on it.
We play a couple of games and do not look even close to the team that we've been as we've practiced together but I have a great time. We lose terribly but have a great time cheering each other on and show all the other teams how teams should look and act. As I looked at our defeat I started to wonder if this was just my lot in life. Always losing, coming in 2nd never really excelling and being my best. When my inner moderator (my personal biggest fan) reminds me of what I've accomplished. In a matter of weeks I went from barley being able to shoot a ball to being able to dribble a ball down a court calling a play and actually knowing where everyone should be after I call the play. I have improved and because of the friendships and pure awesomeness of these ladies I am continually improving.
Here's where I bring everything into perspective for everyone by yet another story from my life. I have had the privilege of getting to know nearly all of my great grandparents and have learned so much from them. My Father's maternal grandparents have by far been such role models to me. My Great Grandpa Warner was raised in a small community in Utah County during the great depression he met his wife on a blind date and was smitten to begin with. They were so in love with each other and were able to raise a beautiful family. My father was very close with them as the oldest grandchild and they loved him more than I'm sure he will ever realize. As my father aged and started his own family we were able to have a very unique and close relationship with my great grandparents. I remember spending many days fishing, gardening and enjoying the company of my great grandparents. When I was little I didn't realize what the great meant and honestly thought they were called great grandparents because in fact they were GREAT. Grandpa was always learning. Many times we would stop by around lunch time and find Grandpa reading some sort of book usually trigonometry or some other informative book. When Grandpa was in his mid-80's he bought a computer and started to teach himself how to use it and began writing out his own personal history. Sadly enough Grandma died and 3 months later Grandpa died of a broken heart. They were such a power couple always learning and progressing themselves and improving upon what they were given.
Now here I am 28 years old and I know that I need to also be improving and progressing. Right now it's easy to improve my health and be physically active. But with Basketball I was also able to improve my mind, my relationships with others and my overall self worth. So here's to more progression. More improving who I am and pushing that envelope of what I'm comfortable with all the time.
Thanks to the Charlie's Angels/Nancies/working girls that I play with and help me improve myself. And for any of you out there feeling really comfortable where you are try pushing yourself out just a little bit more and remember that this life is to progress and improve upon what we've been given.

It HAD to be said.

Wow. Who doesn't love fast and testimony meeting? Our ward here in Tooele is so awesome. There are so many people who are rooted deep in the gospel and truly help me to see how to live better and become more like my savior. This Sunday's meeting was not any different either. We had so many Youth share their budding testimonies thanks to a little "challenge" from the bishop. I think the Young Women won there seemed to be more of them but the Young Men did a decent job as well. Just as the contest was getting really heated between the YW and YM a sweet sister in our ward got up whom I've learned and grown to love. She's very oppionated and has no qualms sharing her oppinions. She will be the first to admit this and always will give a side note that she may offend you even though that is not her intentions it's just the way she is. Well she began to tell about her trip to the Draper Temple Open House and how miserable it was because there was a mother and father who had the odacity to bring their 7 young children to the temple and amazingly enough the children where less than well behaved. She continued to complain on how she couldn't feel the spirit in the temple and this young family was all to blame. (K side note she has three children the oldest of which is 28 and then has an 18 year old girl and a 12 year old boy). She said to top off the awfulness when they got on a shuttle bus there was another young family with crazy kids and she had enough and let the father of the young family know that he needed to control his kids. Then she felt the need to let our very very young ward (we have a giant size ward with a humongus primary) (we had just had 3 baby blessings before the sacrament and there are quite a few sister in our ward ready to deliver even more babies) that our ward is hard to feel the spirit in because of all the kids are really loud and we need to get control and make our kids shut-up. A sister struggling with her own kids in front of me turned around and said "well, i've officially been rebuked." and another mom struggling with her 4 children behind me let out an audible gasp of horror. The sister continued on and said how her husband is really good to let things like this not bother him but she wasn't like him. As she finished up her testimony I couldn't even hear what she was saying because my heart was beating so loud and hard. I then had a mini dellima going on was my heart beating because I was mad and wanted to put that sister in her place or was I really feeling the spirit. I began to pray as I wrestled with my apparently "out of control" children to dechiper really what I was feeling as soon as I finished praying a childhood memory flooded back into my mind in full force and color and I knew that I HAD to share it.
I walked up to the super packed chapel with my crazy loud baby boy in my arms and shared the following story: (side note I promise I was lead by the spirit and what I said I'm not quite sure but I can tell you the memory but it may not hit you with the spirit that I felt while sharing that and for that I apologize)

In 1984 the Manti Temple was refurbished and updated to be a little more modern for the ease of accomadating the temple going people of the area. My parents had recently moved into the Manti temple district and decided to take their young family (My older brother was 7 I was 3 almost 4 my younger brother was 1 and half and my mom was pregnant with another baby) for the two hour trek to the temple. When we finally arrived to the temple I remember leaving my shoes at the front door. I was really apprehensive of leaving my beloved fancy church shoes at the door but was reassured by the fact that I knew Angels where at the temple and would protect my shoes. We walked through the entire temple I remember being confused at the baptismal font and why there were cows holding it up but we moved on. The next part I remember was walking up the spiral staircase to the sealing room and seeing my face in the mirror. As we began to go down the stairs I was terrified. My dad picked me up in his big Daddy arms and carried me down the steps and I knew I was safe. When we reached the bottom of the steps my dad gently placed me to the ground and knelt and looked at me he then said "Andrea, the next time you walk down these steps will be with the man you will have for all eternity."
We went on our merry way and I thought back on those moments from time to time and knew that I wanted to be married in the temple. It wasn't always easy to make the right choices but I knew that is where I wanted to be. Almost 18 years later I walked down those very same steps holding the hand of the man that I so deeply love. We had just been sealed and as we reached the bottom steps I couldn't help but think of my father and mother and the sacrafices they had made to make sure I knew how important temples are.

As I am now a parent of three young children sometimes it's really hard to get out and go to the temple. You have to find babysitters and often times it would be much easier to stay at home and know that someday when it gets easier we'll go to the temple and I remember the example of my parents and I know it's worth it now.

I finished my testimony and sat down but to you my readers I want to finish some thoughts. I am so grateful that my parents risked the chance of being scrutinized for having so many little kids and risking people judging there lack of parenting skills. As we took our own three little kids to the draper temple open house we worried if they would behave, if they too would disrupt the spirit there and worried that other might be upset as well. Jeremy woke up that morning with a serious sinus infection but still wanted to go to the temple with the kids so that they could have their chance to feel that spirit. To be completly honest our kids were by far less than perfect. Abby wanted to run all over and touch every single thing. Will fussed and cried and Lizzie had a hard time wanting me to hold her hand the entire time which was hard while I was trying to steer my sinus driven husband in the right direction while holding my squirmy two year old and comfort my one year old baby. But we went, a spirit was felt and now all I can do is continue to teach the importance of temples and show the blessing that my covenants are in my life.

When we make the effort the results may not always be perfect but the blessings will always be there. I am so grateful for the opportunities I have to teach my children and the reflections I have of my own childhood. I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ resides here on this earth today. I know that Joseph Smith truly saw God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ and truly restored the gospel in all of it's glory. I love my Savior and know that as I strive to live as he would I can be made perfect through the gift of the atonement.

For those of you who would like to go through the Draper Temple you still have time here's the link to get tickets. The tour ends March 14th.

Recipe

I made an awesome salad for my sil baby shower and promised to share the recipe. So here it is. If any of you who were at the shower and know the email addresses of those who don't frequent my blog, send them a link for me.

Recipe:
Chicken Gorgonzola Pasta Salad
19 OZ radiatore nuggets
20 oz cubed cook chicken
15 slices cooked bacon cut into small peices
1 can Muir Glen organic fire roasted tomatoes drained
2 cups baby spinach
16 oz refrigerated ranch dressing
1 cup crumbled gorgonzola cheese

The changes I made. I omitted the spinach (read here forgot)
Instead of Gorgonzola cheese I used a cup of shredded white cheddar. Gorgonzola is stinkin' expensive. Just mix it all while pasta is still warm and serve either warm or cold it's good either way.

My Secret Valentine

Our ward did a secret sister Valentine this year and I had so much fun making it I had to share it. (I don't think my secret sister is a frequenter of my blog but if she is sorry to ruin the secret). I thought really long and hard about what makes me happy and the first answer (after the appropriate family, the gospel etc..) was Chocolate. But I'm afraid I can't give just plain chocolate oh no I'm a fancy pants giver of Chocolate and thus these delicious creations where thus created.


I started with my favorite Girls Scout Thin mints recipe (yes you can make them and yes they are awesome) and cut the chocolate wafers into adorable little hearts. I then dipped them in yummy mint chocolate and let that dry.

Next I melted a new batch of chocolate and dipped these beautiful strawberries in the chocolate. They looked great with just the chocolate but a little white chocolate added a funness factor. The sucker sticks made it super easy to dip perfectly and the little red bows on top just tied it all together.


And there you go an adorable assortment of pure yumminess.

Sad side note is when I had my hired hit man deliver this bad boy of goodness to the secret sisters door no one was home. So I called and left a message to check their front porch but I surely hope they made it home in time to eat the yumminess. If someone out there knows who this secret sister is and somehow found out that she did not in fact get to gorge out on the goodness please let me know so I can make her another plate.
Thanks.

Meh-My Day and what not.

I woke up this morning totally Jazzed. (Yes Jeremy, I really do say Jazzed it's corny but it get's the point across). I even remembered to say my morning prayers and made my bed right after getting out of bed. (this should all be attributed to the fact that i woke up before my kids.) I broke into my kids room with a giant smile and sang them my own rendition of some morning song I heard somewhere. Thank goodness my girls are still little because they smiled at me and sprang out of bed to smother me with their fresh morning goodness. We decided what to eat for breakfast and everyone began to eat out of their appropriate bowls. I devoured my bowl of Kix while multi-tasking and reading my scriptures at the same time. (I'll tell you what I'm super glad I wasn't a cheif judge with feuding brothers whom had nasty kishkumen friends (although I do think the name kishkumen is a super cool name) I probably would have ended up dead) After reading about people killing people I decided to take my morning energy and attack the dishes in the sink (mostly because I didn't want people to come over for our morning yoga and be nauseated by the smell of dinners of yesterday). My energy spilled over onto a broom and I swept the floor in despicable glee (really i was pretending that i was in Sleeping Beauty and I had just waved a magic wand at the broom and it swept the floor on it's own). I quickly ushered my children back upstairs to help them look a little more loved and a little less homeless. I pulled all of their hair out of their faces switched out milk drenched pj's for clean smelling shirts and changed the appropriate diapers. I looked at the clock and ran downstairs to move all the furniture out of my greeting room to make room for happy yoga going women. (yes, all of the furniture minus my piano, which if i had the muscle strength I would probably move as well so we could fit just a couple more women in.) I started researching new pilates moves for my little 15 minute segment of yoga. (i'm obsessed with toning my arms.(i just got called as Ward Choir Director and I have giant fears of Relief Society flap on my arms.) (mostly because i said i never will have that and well we all know what happens when you do that)). I realized other women wouldn't bring weights so I started trying to find weights for them. Food storage came to the rescue as I noticed the weightage of my cans of refried beans. Just as I finished huffing all the cans up from my basement my phone rang and the most amazing yoga instructor called to say she wouldn't be able to make it. *PANIC* It was too late to call all the people who come over so thus I had to stretch my 15 minute segment into an hour. --Breathe--Breathe----Breathe, I can do this. So I had to review every single move I've come to learn and somehow flow it into a 60 minute routine.(not to mention not focus on the fact that people would be looking at me and realize that i'm way too uncoordinated and under qualified to be teaching this show biz) But before I really could psych myself out people are knocking on the door and they are all smiling and happy to be in my furniture less room and laughing and really excited to work out. (because darn it all we're going to look awesome before swimsuit season gets here) And thus we start the work out. All is going well, children are playing about my entire house and mini moments of chaos erupt but we keep pressing forward. Abby soon realizes where I am and decides it's really funny when Mommy is holding a plank position (and praying really hard that relief society arms will flap their last flap) if she climbs on top of mommy and say getty up she should get a good laugh. And now the downward spiral begins. I'm just getting into the final sweat off of the routine when darling Will reminds me that I failed to clean up Abby's oatmeal by bringing in the bowl and drops it at my downward dog feet. Lovely. I then realize that all the kids are playing in the kitchen and I can smell markers. Sure enough 8 kids plus 24 markers equals a non focused pilates instructor. We finish regardless and I say goodbye to my happy yoga women. I begin to survey the damage and really start wishing that I was in some disney movie where I could either wiggle a magic wand or sing a sweet song and have adorable woodland creatures clean my previously cleaned kitchen again.
But I have children who are starving and need to be fed at that exact moment despite the fact that it's way before lunch time. I tell them I'll get lunch as soon as I'm done checking my email. (Darn Internet you harlot. always tempting me to spend way too much time with you making me oblivious to things that are far more pressing) I begin to sink into the internet like an old soggy couch only to realize that the pantry door is wide open and fair game to my one year old son. I realize this as the sound of cheerios are sprinkling on the ground only to be crunched by the cutest little toes you've ever seen. I fully come out my internet induced coma to see my sweet boy with a box of upside down cheerios clutched in his arms and a giant lopsided smile on his delicious face.
I have two choices at this point either yell and get mad at the giant mess that this baby boy made or laugh pretty hard and get my magic broom out once again.
I laugh. Sweep and am so grateful that I said my prayers in the morning and asked for the patience to be a good mom.
You know the rest of the day could probably be summed up with similar ups and downs (don't even get me started about my adventure to Wal-Mart at 5:00 I must have taken some serious crazy pills) but all in all I was able to be a somewhat decent Mom today and I feel pretty good about that. Let's see how I do tomorrow.