"You mean you don't like me?"

So it's our ward camp out this weekend and I have all this nervous energy so I'm "blogging" it out. Is it totally stupid that I think that if we have a small turn out it is somehow a reflection on what people think of me? Wow, I'm more shallow than what I thought. As the new ward activity chair or whatever the heck my official title is I feel like I should be the "party girl" someone who every body wants to hang out with; so of course they'll come to my party. My last little activity had a really small turn out, we got everything done that we wanted to and the people who attended I think had a good time but that was just a little activity. Everyone talks up the ward camp out all the great times they've had at the ward camp out and somehow I don't think they're all too excited about this one. I'm usually really confident in my callings but I usually do behind the scenes stuff but this calling is really putting me out there on a limb. BLURG!!! I'm not to crazy about feeling like this. I guess all I can do is stick to my inspiration and hope that really it was inspiration and that whoever turns up has a quality time. I guess I'm in the business of quality not necessarily quantity whereas I have absolutely no control of the later of the two. Meh! If anybody else out there has a fantastic idea of how to make sure I get lots of people there, before Friday let me know. If not I guess I'll have a lot of terriyaki chicken and dutch oven potatoes to eat for awhile. Nice.

Ensign Advice

So next months Q&A is marriage advice that you were given. And this made me think of a funny story that most likely wouldn't get published but it was funny to me. For those of you who don't know my story with Jeremy count yourself lucky. You probably think he fell head over heels for me instantaneously and dropped down on one knee the moment he laid eyes on me, just like all the other guys. But unfortunately for me that wasn't the story at all. I think he knew he liked me but Jeremy has come to understand that I don't appreciate those things that come way too easy for me so he in his pure genius decided that I had to work for him. I honestly believe he was the first guy I thought wasn't interested enough in me. Not to sound conceded or anything like that but when I dated a guy by the second date I usually knew I had the guy hook line and sinker and could then pull and tug on his heart strings as I desired. (Yes I'm a terrible person but don't worry pay back wasn't too much fun for me.)
When Jeremy and I realized that we were dating we had probably been "dating" for well over a month. I guess it was hard for me to realize thats what we were doing because I was actually dating 2 other guys around the same time and when I was tired of playing the whole dating game I would go hang out with Jeremy because dang he was cool. I felt so relaxed and like I didn't have to put on this whole "look at me I'm so cute" game. We would go do stupid things like midnight burger king runs (seriously I was addicted to the double cheeseburger). We would watch movies and just hang out it was just a chill environment. Anyhow like started turning into more stuff and every time I was on a date with another guy I was thinking about him and every time I heard about him going on a date with another girl I was like what the heck why hasn't he asked me out. Then one night after we had finished watching a movie and all the other guys had gone to bed and it was just me and Jeremy we kissed. I'll never forget leaving his place that night knowing I would never ever kiss another guy. (everyone can sigh now and let out that little ahhh sound.) Anyhow Jeremy wasn't as sure as I was through out the whole relationship hence him breaking up with me a month after the first kiss. But after 3 days he came back to his senses and came back Then there was another break-up and a come back. And then finally the 3rd time I thought he was breaking up with me he was actually saying lets think about getting married but for some reason that wasn't what I heard but he smoothed out that bridge really quick and let me know that he really did want to marry me. *Sigh* then he went to Cincinnati for the summer, Somehow through major long phone calls, and some emails and me really honestly having no desire to date anyone else ever again we made it.
I flew out to Cincinnati, Jeremy had convinced me that it would be best to wait to get engaged until after he came back to Logan, but I was so excited to see him anyhow. I at the time had no idea how tricky Jeremy was or how incredibly tricky his mom was and they had somehow got a ring out to Jeremy and he proposed to me there.
As we sat in this beautiful garden both glistening with new love. This crazy lady drove by in a golf cart. She offered us some water. We told her no knowing that we both were totally drinking each other in, when she asked if we had just got engaged. This lady totally had the crazy cat lady look to her and there was something in her smile that made me think she had several sweaters with cats embroidered on them waiting to greet her when she got home. When we replied in unison that yes we were engaged (we smiled sheepishly at each other) she said,"Do you mind if I give you some advice?" I thought for sure she was going to say something like: "Always make sure that your cat litter is fresh" or "Marriages will come and go but Cats last forever" but instead she looked at us and said " Any marriage will last as long as you have three people in it. You, your spouse and God." She then gave us a couple of lollipops and rode off into the sunset in her crazy little golf cart. We sat there in stunned silence. How true she has been. I know that as Jeremy and I work to increase our faith and our individual relationship with our Heavenly Father we draw closer as husband and wife. Anyhow that was the crazy lady with some seriously sane advice.
But what, o internet public, who secretly reads my secret blog, is the best marriage advice you have received or like to give?
My advice lately has been: In marriage it is not 50/50 it's 100/100 as each of us tries to serve each other in our relationships and give fully of oneself there really isn't anyone who is losing out.
Ya I should word that better but it's late and I'm tired. Anyhow maybe if you give me a comment with good advice I can type it up and send it into the Ensign and you can be published.. Well goodnight to all and to all a happy marriage.

A letter from Lizzie

I've got more to write later tonight but for now enjoy this letter Lizzie wrote to my brother Tyler who is currently serving a mission in Monterry Mexico. I wrote the letter but I kid you not this is what she said verbatim.

Dear Uncle Tyler,

I love you. Be safe traveling home. I learned about being nice today in church with my friends. I had a little story today about shepherds being nice. Be good on your mission. We miss you. Eat new foods safely. Be good. We have a slip n slide this summer but it had a hole in it and now it's popped. I love my friends they come over to play with me and we play outside when it's hot and sunny. Jackson and Jace and almost all my friends came over to play in a green turtle swimming pool. It was lots and lots of fun.
Love Lizzie

This was Tyler's response to her:

that´s great lizzy keep having fun and learn lots.
i´m being safe and eating food safely and sometimes tooooo much.
bye love you

I love that Lizzie was concerned about him eating new foods! But thinking about it and where he is I thought it was wise council from a 4 year-old.
I'll write more tonight.

Random Thoughts-

So these are a few thoughts that I need to write down so I can expound on them later.

1. I wish someone would invent a brain camera. You know, so you can look at something and say I want a picture of that and it takes it just as you see it. I only say this because I was slightly disappointed in the pix that we took at Zions there were so many things of beauty and my camera didn't really capture it all. Also there are so many times that I'm with my kids and I think I need to remember this I need to remember this and even if I have my camera they usually don't pose for the camera like I see them. I really can't wait for someone to invent this brain camera thingy so I can really start to show the world the way I see it, because to be honest there is so much beauty out there.

2. A couple of Sundays ago we were walking to church and Lizzie was tagging along with me as I pushed Abby in the stroller. Lizzie, if you haven't met her, is the queen of conversation and has really picked up on the word expert. She was explaining to me all the things that she was an expert at: a big sister, word person, friend etc. Then she was sweet enough to tell me I was an expert Mom. Then as we started to cross the street to the church she says," I'm an expert at church too!" long pause " But Jesus is the biggest church expert of all." I'm glad I've taught her something.

3. This was my idea in the shower today. I've been praying to have help to lose weight. And I was wondering if that was an evil thing to pray for. I mean lets be honest it sounds a little selfish and really maybe not on the top of things that should be important but hear me out on my reasons.
1- Jeremy's 10 reunion is this August and to be completely shallow I don't want to be his fat wife. I want people to talk to Jeremy and say "You have three kids? Wow! I would have never guessed that by looking at your wife. She is so smokin' hot! How did you do that Jeremy? You are so Lucky to have such an amazing woman." Now I understand that sounds amazingly shallow and probably unrealistic but that's one reason why I'm obsessed with losing weight.
2-Now here's the for real thing. I realize that our bodies are a gift from our Heavenly Father and we need to take care of them and i know I have a good excuse to be fat I mean my baby is just 5 months but I know that I feel best about myself when I'm eating right and exercising so even if I don't "lose" weight I at least get all the benefits of being healthy. So really I think that's why it's OK to have Heavenly Father help me be healthy and lose weight.
So as I contemplated this today the thought struck me that praying is a lot like dieting. (OK that still makes me laugh) but really if you think about it dieting or losing weight is a lot of work, I love the commercials that advertise take this pill and still eat whatever you want, don't exercise and magically the weight will go away. (Does anyone remember how phen phen worked out?) Honestly if you are serious about losing weight you'll watch what you eat, you'll exercise and you'll work until you get the results you are looking for and then it becomes a life style you can't just go back to your old ways. Well praying is the same way we learn in D&C thanks to Oliver Cowdry that you have to do your homework. You have to work as hard as you can and then Heavenly Father will come and help with the rest. Take the brother of Jared for example: His problem: Needing to light a boat. He prays. Heavenly Father says think about and come back to me with your answer. He finds some cool rocks, has some serious hardcore faith and boom he's got light. (sorry that's a really bad synopsis if you want the whole story look here) But it just goes to show you that prayer requires work, just like dieting you work and work and then you just have to have faith that your work is going to pay off somehow. I think about my Mom she's lost a lot of weight over the past 4 years but she still isn't to wear she would like to be but her heart is incredible healthy, and her overall health has improved significantly and more importantly she's able to play with her grandkids which is one of the most important things to her. So the results are a little bit different than what she wants but she keeps working at it and she sees the blessings as they come around. Anyhow thats my thoughts for right now I think I'll make this one a big post later on I just needed to write it down for now. Let me know what you think...Seriously guys I love getting comments on my crazy thoughts it. I like to at least know that someone gets me.

Something that made me think

In Relief Society on Sunday our president gave the lesson and she quoted for the majority this talk. I was not familiar with it but some of it really hit my heart hard. I guess it's ok considering that I was only 12 when this talk was given, but the words seem to really apply to me now. Here is the excerpt that really made me think. You can find the talk in it's entirety here

“Charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever.” (Moro. 7:46–47.)

"Charity is, perhaps, in many ways a misunderstood word. We often equate charity with visiting the sick, taking in casseroles to those in need, or sharing our excess with those who are less fortunate. But really, true charity is much, much more.

Real charity is not something you give away; it is something that you acquire and make a part of yourself. And when the virtue of charity becomes implanted in your heart, you are never the same again. It makes the thought of being a basher repulsive.

Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.

None of us need one more person bashing or pointing out where we have failed or fallen short. Most of us are already well aware of the areas in which we are weak. What each of us does need is family, friends, employers, and brothers and sisters who support us, who have the patience to teach us, who believe in us, and who believe we’re trying to do the best we can, in spite of our weaknesses. What ever happened to giving each other the benefit of the doubt? What ever happened to hoping that another person would succeed or achieve? What ever happened to rooting for each other?

It should come as no surprise that one of the adversary’s tactics in the latter days is stirring up hatred among the children of men. He loves to see us criticize each other, make fun or take advantage of our neighbor’s known flaws, and generally pick on each other. The Book of Mormon is clear from where all anger, malice, greed, and hate come."

In my journalism classes I learned that if someone can say it better than you to let them say it so I don't think I need to add anything else other than I hope that I can be a better person and really understand charity and begin to gain more of it in my life.

Terrible and Delicious

So I was in the mood for Girl Scout Cookies on Sunday and what is a LDS Women to do. So I surfed this thing called the internet and found this recipe for Girl Scout Cookies.
Ya incredibly good but a little more time consuming then what I usually would do but still. Jeremy is a mint cookie expert and said they were "No Nabisco" but good enough that he ate nearly a dozen on his own. So just so you know if you don't want to pay the 3.50 a box you can make your own for about 2.00 and have as many as you like.
p.s. I'm blogging right now so I don't eat any more!